When I go through and review a Movie: I use my own personal grading scale- from 1-10, of course. I don’t much have a use for a yea or nay or try and figure out the difference between a weak recommend, strong recommend or plain ol recommend.
When I think of a movie, I have one criteria- should I spend money on this? If the movie was any good, how much?
On the reverse? How much pain should be inflicted on the person that forced me to watch this dreck?
So the average, nominal boring movie is a 5. Nothing hateful, nothing inspiring, no reason to ever watch this movie again.
So now, The Scale:
10>This movie should be watched in the theater, and the DVD should be bought immediately. They deserve our support!
9>If you missed the movie in the big theater, you need to preorder the DVD immediately! Hey Look! We have an Amazon Link on this very page!
8>Wait till this movie is on sale for DVD, its worth buying, but you don’t have to buy it at full price.
7>Rent it only. Don’t spend too much on it unless its on clearance.
6>Got HBO? Then watch it. Don’t have it? Borrow it from someone who hit the clearance rack at a pawnshop. Worth going out of your way to watch it, but not WAY out of the way.
5>If its on, and nothing better- throw it on the DVR for a few weeks till you are bored.
4>Ok, you recommended this movie to me? That’s strike one in our friendship.
3>WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?? Be glad I don’t punch you.
2>Don’t talk to me, oh and I burned that DVD and threw it on your car hood, I hope it made a mark.
1>Not only am I beating you, I’m flying to California and beating on the writer/director of this crap.
0>I am going Ji-Had on everyone on the credits list, to ensure they never, EVER make another movie- even by accident.