Movie Review: Resident Evil Afterlife

We open on Milla Jovavich just standing on the street in the pouring rain as people pass by her with Umbrellas as the credits go by. None have the Umbrella logo on them, as far as I can tell. We do a slow pan up her legs and holy crap, I think my forearms are bigger than her legs. Oh wait, that’s not Milla. She looks over at a guy staring at her, and she attacks- Dracula style on his neck.

Pan up, and the narration from Milla.
Pan down, and then we have an assault on the Umbrella base we were promised at the end of the last movie. Holy Sheepdip, we have a movie that follows the last one! What follows is the most unrealistic Matrix ripoff action sequence ever been put on film. Even down to the elevator scene.

Resident Evil’s Shaky Cam Game is STRONG.

Wesker- the target- is of course able to get on a escape vessel, and as he is impressing himself, Alice shows up and attacks, then it is Alice’s turn to get stupid, and she is injected with something. Then a bomb goes off, and kills no one- stop me if you have heard that one.

6 months later, Alice is in Alaska, looking for a “safe haven” called Arcadia, but all she finds is empty planes. She gets attacked by Ali Larter, and after a bit of padding-er fighting, Alice breaks a thing on Ali’s chest and that ends the fight. She has no idea what’s going on. Jumping on a plane, they land on a building that is surrounded by Zombies. Here we meet our new team. Black Guy, Hot Chick 4.0, obvious Red Shirt, Asshole Guy and his sidekick toady. There is also a guy in a cell who is trusted by nobody, but claims he knows a way out. Alice can’t fly everyone out as she has a tiny runway even for her tiny plane. So now that all the players are introduced, now what?

And how is Resident Evil: Afterlife?

There is some serious goodness here. The initial attack on umbrella is so awful it’s good. The Escape from the building is also fun, for the most part.
To balance that out, is some really bad crap, if you can’t deal with the so-bad-it’s-good part in the beginning, then the fight with the Axe man is not done well, and only serves to make everyone suck but Alice.

I enjoyed the movie, but I can’t really see any rewatchability to it. We get enough of other movies best action scenes and we get it done WELL. Sadly we do get way too many things thrown out there for the video game fans and it hurts the movie’s flow. It’s like I get 10 minute cutscene, then I have a 10 minute fight, then another cutscene. Resident Evil all series long has had a serious problem with this and it’s gotten worse as we have gone along.

I’ll go a 5 here. What is good is really good, and what is bad is at times entertaining enough to get through waiting on the good.

Spoilers? Well maybe just thoughts.

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