I have never read Pride and Prejudice. Just never got it in school for some reason. I guess I should be glad that when I took English Lit I mostly got guys like Swift instead of Jane Austen. I’ve never seen any movie adaptions either, so I guess I can come at this Zombie mashup without thinking of the primary source material.
So we start off with HOT CHICKS cleaning weapons, in walks TYWIN LANNISTER Holy Cripe! A Lannister never forgets to keep that powder dry people! Anyway, the Awesome Charles Dance is looking to marry off his daughters, or the crown gets all his stuff. He’s got 5 hot daughters, so I don’t see what the trouble is. The main girl is a bit of a stuck-up B-double itch, but still, she’s hot and deadly as hell.
Over in Random Castle, a man shows up and says there is a report of a zombie infection. See in this non-Romero world, a Zombie can bite you, and you will still be ok, but as you eat people, you become more and more mindless. He uses a fly to determine that there is an infection, and kills the pre-Zombie, and asks if there is any more, the dumbasses say no, and when one of the people go and check on someone, a zombie outbreak happens, because rich people are stupid. The man is rich as all hell, and a bit of a prick. Guess we have our main man for the Queen Bee over there.
I know I have not mentioned Cersei Lannister yet, but that’s because we don’t see her until we are an hour into this thing. She’s fun, of course, and the movie tries to avoid making her Cersei, but she’s Cersei here, just more badass, if that’s physically possible.
So how is Pride and Prejudice + Zombies?
I bet the book is fun, seems like we have sisters fighting (less literally) and an attempt at all kinds of love triangles and girls doing the Victorian equivalent of “Girl Power” I wonder if we could have gotten the Spice Girls in the 5 roles.
I do think these is a ton of materiel here, but it’s really hamstrung by the time, for example, the whole Zombies don’t just turn, they turn as they kill and eat humans. Interesting take, but sadly it doesn’t really pan out to much. The plot with Cersei Lannister could have been cut out, and not missed, and this really just needed a tighter hand at the wheel.
That being said, it’s a solid time-waster, but I can’t see this really ever hitting the DVD player again. You have to be in a mood to watch a period piece like this, and the zombie hook really doesn’t sell like it should. I just feel like there is something here, but unlike Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter there isn’t enough here to make me recommend or care to see again. I’m going a 3 here. I don’t think for a certain audience this is a waste of time, but you kind of have to like B-Movies to get any enjoyment here. Problem is, this isn’t a B-Movie with this budget and acting powers, but it is behind the scenes.
Whenever I see a PG-13 on movies like this, I kind of get ready for disappointment, but I don’t think it really hurt the movie here. Could they have jumped the gore to get the R? Sure. Did they have to? No. I don’t think it would have solved the problems here, it may have caused new ones, as a sex scene would have slowed down the movie even more in spots, and upping the gore would have just been headshots in the Victorian dress. I mean look at the above picture, I can get that in a PG-13? I don’t need the R here.
I’m not saying there isn’t people that will love this, I’m just saying there is so much goodness here, and it just misses the boat. By all means, tell me if all the goodness is just the book stuff.
Tiny URL for this post: