Movie Review: Dante’s Peak

Never saw Dante’s Peak. I do love Dante’s Inferno, so let’s see how it goes.

Of course, the subtitle is:

James Bond and Sarah Conner vs the Volcano

Oh Yeah.

So we start off somewhere in an active Volcano, and James Bond jumps into a truck with some RedShirt female, because with Linda Hamilton involved, there is NO Chance this chick is getting in the way.

True enough, as they are driving off, a falling rock pierces the roof of the cab, and kills the brunette, giving Peirce Brosnan a chance to act. In the bond Scale, he’s worse than George Lazneby in crying over hot female killed beside him in the car.

So Bond is now doing pushups and gets a call to go back to work. Flip over to Linda Hamilton having to give a speech and cannot remember names. Long story short, Dante’s Peak is a town in the shadow of an inactive volcano, or so everyone thinks, and is about to get a major investment from Random Rich Guy for some of that good ‘ol Economic Development. Linda Hamilton is getting an award from Money Magazine saying this town is the second best place to live in America (under 10K people) first place was some place in Montana that no one gives a shit about.

Not my words- from the innkeeper, who is my favorite character in the movie.

Skinny-Dipping pair jump into a hot spring on the volcano, but soon it’s a million degrees, so they get boiled alive. So we know something aint right

So now Brosnan shows up and goes to work investigating on some scary numbers the govt are getting on the volcano, and also goes to work on Linda Hamilton, because he’s Peirce Brosnan. Fun thing is he tests the acidity of the water, and it’s basically 1 ph level away from battery acid.

So how is Dante’s Peak?

Well. Let me get through the good parts.

I do love that we do NOT get the love triangle I just knew was coming. It seems like they keep wanting to trigger it, but it doesn’t happen.
I am so glad that James Bond just doesn’t stop the volcano. It’s a frikken volcano, not even Bond can do anything.
The effects are simply great for the time period, parts of it are crud, but by and large, no complaints.
We get a lot of fun here, everyone is trying, everyone is involved, and it shows on camera, comic relief guy is comic relief, and he gets off my damn screen before he annoys me.

Now for what annoys me.

Pierce Brosnan is right, no matter what.
There is only one way out, and it works.
No volcano in history has ever worked this way.

So, overall?

It’s a good popcorn movie, I don’t really see any deep meaning here. Would I watch it again? I don’t see why not. Would I sit the kids on the couch and tell them they have to watch this? No. If the movie is on HBO past the 43 minute mark when the volcano hits would I stop? Sure. The kids are not overly annoying, the Grandma is granny-stupid, but still.

I’ll go a 4 here. There is no real reason to dig this one out of the DVD bin, but if you like Peirce Brosnan and want to see what Sarah Connor would have been like had she never went to California to get knocked up while trying to be an actress and instead ran for mayor of a small town, then enjoy.

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