Pounding 7s: Wrestlers who served.

Welcome to the Pounding 7s, I would say I am the Coast Guard of this column, but I am former Army, and even I couldn’t get a negative push out of that.

Tony wants to know:

What would Vince had done if Bruiser Brody had broken Hogan’s leg before Wrestlemania I?

Well, first things first. There is a whole lot more smoke than fire to that rumor. I’d actually think that Sheik would have broken Hogan before Brody would have. Nothing against Brody, but Sheik could have done it and made it look like an accident.

But let’s just say it would have happened. Well it depends on how badly;

A slight break and not much would have happened. Hogan is still a punch/kick guy and the heels would have had to carry the match even more, something Piper and Orndorff could have done. I would think there would have been a lot more interference from Snuka/Orton though, and a shorter match.

A break so bad that Hogan couldn’t walk? Now you are looking at trouble. Wrestlemania was a tag match so Hogan could get the rub from being with Mr T, and I don’t think a singles match would have worked, and putting Snuka/T vs Piper/Orndorff would have been a money maker Vince wanted. With so little time before Mania, having Kerry Von Erich or Magnum TA come in might not have saved the day.

My guess? Piper cripples Hogan at the start of the show, Mr T and Snuka makes the save, and we get Snuka/T vs Piper/Orndorff that goes about 5 minutes before all Hades breaks loose and Hogan in a cast whacks someone in the back with a crutch from his wheelchair.

Vince somehow gets a Saturday Nights Main event ASAP to give us the match we all wanted, so Hogan can still get the rub, it’s a reduced rub, but since Piper cost the fans the match they wanted, the WWF gives it to the fans for free. I also think Piper has the title, as Hogan being out means a Piper run, no Orndorff turn (yet) and Piper just runs wild until Hogan “saves” the WWF from Piper and his gang. Wrestlemania 2 gives us Piper/Hogan in a cage, with Mr T no longer involved.

So who is the big loser in this?

Now onto the Countdown!

Members of the military who became Wrestlers.

The ranking is arbitrary, of course, but Steve will go nuts if he has to take off his shoes to make sure I stick to 7.

Honorable Mention:

Kevin Nash

I would have never guessed he was in the military, and was even a MP. How would you like to be drining home from the bar and have Big Sexy pull you over?

7. Cpl Kirchner

This guy was legit, as a member of the 82nd airborne in my home state of North Carolina. I have to rank him below the next guy- well, rank has it’s privileges. Funny thing is, I think I have seen his work in Japan as Leatherface more than I have his US work.

6. Sgt Slaughter

No, not just for GI Joe, but Slaughter was in the Marines before becoming a wrestler.

5. Road Dogg

Coming from a Hall of Fame family, pretty sure Armstrong was going to go into the family business, but joined the Marines not long after his first match in 1986.

4. Verne Gagne

Another Marine, serving during WW2 before getting out and going to school at Minnesota before starting his long career.

3. Perry Saturn

You would think that Jim Ross would mention during every match that Perry Saturn was an Airborne Ranger before becoming a wrestler, but I guess that doesn’t fit being a dumbass with a mop.

2. “Classy” Freddie Blassie

Yup. If you never read his book, you might not know that this guy was in the Navy during WW2, and was a boxing and wrestling champ while serving.

1. Jesse “The Body” Ventura

Make no mistake, Jesse Ventura is a real-life Sexual Tyrannosaur. He was a legit Navy Seal, making him a legit Badass. He served in the Philippines during Vietnam.

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