Movie Review: Tank 432

Alternate Title: Belly of the Beast

I was a tanker. I love Tanks. Tanks are awesome. Horror movie where people are stuck in a Tank? I’m sold. TAKE MY MONEY, or at least my Netflix password.

Man drinking from Canteen. I hated those canteens- always seemed like there was an aftertaste in there no matter what you did, even when you hid adult beverages in there. Not that I ever did, of course, cause you know, you never drink in the Army.

There is some woman with him, and they take off running, and come across a group of people. One dude is up against a tree and has a busted leg. It’s down to the bone, and not bleeding, so he’s screwed. They two people must be ISIS and that’s a bit odd. He’s got two people in bright red clothes, and wearing hoods. Kind of defeats the purpose of camo, and ducking behind trees, when some guy is pulling two flashing beacons of here I am through the trees. Another man pulls up and says there is a farm south of there.

Well, this must be in England, as the steering wheel is on the wrong side. One man goes out looking, one is trying to Hotwire a jeep, they put the hurt guy in the back and the woman gives him another shot. For some reason they SLOW DOWN the movements and ramp up the music, in case you want to know if something is going to happen.

This guy look cool? Well, screw you- this is all you get in the film.

As they are walking around, they find a woman in a shipping container, she gets a shot too, this is the fourth shot the woman has given out, by the way. SGT Feelgood. They take her back to where the others are, and don’t check the rest of the containers. There is a knocking sound from one of the containers, but no one notices it. A flare in the sky, and everyone bugs out, leaving the guy with the busted leg in the jeep. There is a HUGE dude in the middle of the road, and the scout just shoots away at him. Odd that this whole time, no one has climbed on top of the two silos to get a better visual.

So they are going across a clearing, and one guy wants to leave the two people in hoods. For some reason leaving the deadweight girl from the container is not discussed. They come across a Personnel Carrier- and unload all the boxes, one of the people in the red jumpsuits is killed. Everyone else gets in.

Ok, I’m a bit pissed that we have a APC instead of a TANK. There is a MASSIVE difference between the two when it comes to defense. Still have no idea what the hell is going on and we have hit the thirdway mark.

Seriously. No Frikken idea.

So how is Tank 432?

It sucks. Seriously.
I wasted a hour and a half of my life, simply because I saw a movie with the words TANK in it, and when i saw the trailer it was supposed to be this psychological thriller- I guessed it was going to be like zombies attacking the outside of the tank while people inside tried to survive.

Nope. I got stupidity and yelling.

I will say this is shot VERY well, the APC can get VERY claustrophobic at time and the movie does a VERY good job of showing that off, even though it does seem like this one has more room than the American M113 and FAR more than an Abrams does.

You get no spoilers. This is an experiment of that orange stuff, and apparently the soldiers are being used to test it on. No idea what the chicks in red are for, or why the girl was in the Storage Box.

This movie SUCKS.

Belly of the Beast would have been the better title, again, there is NO FRIKKEN TANK, and I would have never watched it.

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