Movie Review: Species IV The Awakening

We come to a college class where a woman is teaching a class, apparently the filmmakers think that the students are all in Junior High, the way they can’t deal with the hotness of the professor. I won’t insult where this college is, and the woman is hot, but this school can’t be anywhere there is a beach or the South.

She tells the boys- and yes, the class is ALL BOYS, about Zeus punishing Man for discovering fire, and being punished for it the source of all men’s suffering, and asks them to guess what it was. Of course, none of them know about Pandora, proving this is a class of idiots.

After class she goes over to another building, and looks for her “Uncle Tom” something I’m still not comfortable about a white woman yelling out. They speak in gibberish, and the woman says that she got another job offer from Oxford, but doesn’t want to leave Uncle Tom. So that night, she has a date, leaving Uncle Tom home alone cooking, he offers to go to England with her. She tells Uncle Tom to not wait up. Yay Uncle Tom!

The Next morning, a naked woman is found by a jogger, thankfully her arms cover everything as she’s moved. Species: SVU is called in, but she’s still alive and taken to the hospital.

At the X-Ray lab, a tech says “These blood levels can’t be right” uh, OK. They do the tests again, and the woman jerks on the table, changes into the conehead alien, and kills the X-Ray tech with a tongue to the chest. A woman finds it, and she gets killed with a tongue through the back of her head into her eye in a sad attempt a 3D possibly?

Uncle Tom shows up, and he follows the blood trail to an again naked but covered in all the right spots woman. Uncle Tom injects her with something that makes all the veins on her arms vanish. He helps her out and puts her into a car, as even though people were running screaming in the hospital, no problems getting out. Uncle Tom tells her they are going to Mexico, to see one if Uncle Tom’s old students who is brilliant.

So how is Species IV?

Lousy. Let’s be honest, we have a Natasha knockoff who acting ability comes and goes but does seems like she is doing her best. The evil brunette is a lot more fun, and I almost wish they had changed roles. Might have been easier than you think. Just have the backup doctor flee to Canada instead of Mexico and boom, there we go.

This is a fairly basic story, and I have to think it’s a puberty story, as if this could be Carrie 4 instead of Species 4, we just get Aliens. Girl goes nuts, kills a few people, and we go off to Mexico for the cure, that goes wrong, and we have to fight.

I’m going with a 2 here, there is no reason what so ever to watch this movie. There is a SMALL cast, and if you want to know where you know Uncle Tom, he was the guy in Chariots of Fire TWENTY-FIVE years before this movie. He was also Sarek in the Star Trek reboot.  The two females are hotter than fire, again the brunette deserved better screen time. The movie also drops into what I hate- going dark for no reason other than to hide the budget.

Spoilers, because you might need it.

Did anyone think the cure was going to work? Seriously?
I did. I admit it. I thought the brunette was going to go nuts in how Miranda was treated and how she was just used as a sex doll by backup doctor, especially after she was just told she has a short lifespan. I thought we would get the Brunette killing people, and Miranda had to reject the “Human Hormones” to become and Alien to defend Uncle Tom- then the two women kill each other and Uncle Tom goes back home all depressed with a kid in the carseat for the sequel.

Nope.
That would have been work.

This one has a WHOLE lot of stretching. One Miranda changes, she finds a guy, who is ready and willing, if you know what I mean, and yet she kills him. Then goes to a club, finds another guy also ready and willing, kills him too. I thought we were going to get a slaughter, nope, she just growls and lets everyone go. Geez. We have the R, use it. Now they have a throwaway that the first guy was sterile, and she knew that, but every guy in the club? We know it doesn’t have to be an alien, because she bangs the doctor.

The bigger problem is the ending is useless. The battle is worthless. If you are watching part 4, I would have to think that you have seen the previous 3, and why oh WHY don’t we get an epic battle? We get next to nothing. Plus the cab driver dies with a simple car crash and fire, yet the brunette can take a heavy cross to the dome and walk it off, but at the end we just end it? Who wrote this, the brains behind the Death of Supermen? The Brunette obviously wants to be Wolverine, but Miranda is what exactly? All she does is shoot quills out of her mouth, and kill people with her tongue. The final battle just kills me at how quick it was, for no real reason.

The science doublespeak is just sad. They got the DNA for Miranda the same place as they got the parts for Sil. Goodness. Uncle Tom sure got over killing quickly, didn’t he? Find a hot woman that wanted to rob him.

Final Question. What happened to the baby?

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