Movie Review: Moana

It has been some time that I actually was really excited to sit down and watch a Disney movie with my kids. Like everyone else, I grew up with Disney, and it seems like unless there is a lamp coming out before the Disney logo.

We start off with our villain, Maui who has stolen a magic heart, and while escaping, is stopped by a LAVA MONSTER who punches him as he is turned into a bird, thanks to a magical hook. With the magic heart gone, there is a blackness going over the islands killing everything.

It’s pretty slow though, as it’s a thousand years later and it still hasn’t hit the village of Moana, who, since this is Disney, the Chief’s daughter and doesn’t like being restricted to the lagoon. Oh hell, last time we saw this Mel Gibson showed up. Thankfully, Grandmother is a crazy old woman who shows Moana that there is more to life than just staying home and doing what Daddy says. Girl Power!

So how is Moana?Moana Grandma

Much better than I thought. Let’s be frank, this is a solid movie, but it’s not close to a top-tier movie, but it’s a far cry better than the bottom. I’ll go about a 6 here. I don’t think there are any memorable songs, and when the Rock comes onto the screen, Moana slips to the background, I’m not sure if it’s intentional or not, but that’s what happens. The story is thin as well. One of the best scenes has no bearing on the movie as a hole- just a time wasting 15 minutes of padding. The Crab sequence also runs way too long.

No spoilers here, just for the simple reason it doesn’t need it. It’s a Disney movie, we know that the big baddie is going down, and far more easily than it should and we are going to get a bunch of middling songs and hope for one or two good ones. We don’t get that here. The best part of the movie is the crazy Grandmother, and I would have liked to have gotten more of her.

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