Royal Rumble 2012 Review

I have not followed wrestling for years, and saw this this DVD for cheap, and picked it up.  For no good reason, I thought I would do a quick review, and see if this 5 year old show would make me care about the current product. 5 years? Holy crap I’m old.

 

2012 Royal Rumble

Daniel Bryan vs Big Show vs Mark Henry
— I always felt Mark Henry should have been better used. I thought he would have been amazing had they kept him in the tag ranks, or used him as a Yokozuna clone- but again, they need a Cornette type talker to get him over, and never did. This match he’s just there. Big Show is a lump, but he’s trying but Bryan is the problem here, this is pre-beard, so I guess he got better, but holy shit Bryan gave better work to Mark Henry. To give the plucky underdog two monsters to fight, you have to tell a longer story, and I just don’t see it here. Bryan didn’t come off as opportunistic or even dangerous. Just horrible here.

8 Diva Tag Match: The Bellas, Natalya, and Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly, Eve, Tamina and Alicia Fox.
— BORING, everyone just going through the motions until the end, that was done very well, but undersold.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay.
— No reason at all for this to be here.

CM Punk vs Dolph ZigglerCM Punk
– Somewhat a fun match. I stopped watching before the whole Dolph thing, but he’s good, but a bit limited and plain. For some reason he comes off as Billy Gunn 2.0 to me. I missed all the CM Punk thing as well, so I can see where the love came from, but he’s not exactly Ricky Steamboat here people. The G2S is contrived as hell. I understand “finishers” have to have some suspension of disbelief- but DAMN does that look fake. The whole John Laurinaitis angle got boring to me, and I only had to watch this one match.

John Cena vs Kane
— All the build was for this match, and they did this one right. I’ve never been a big fan of Cena, and not just for SuperCena that was when I was slowing to stopping watching. Gotta love how its 2012 here and from what Steve tells me, they still refuse to turn Cena. Kane is Kane, he’s never changed, but he’s a bit lazy here. I always liked the unmasked Kane, Glen Jacobs has a great face for a heel. The fun part after the match was actually more interesting than the match itself.

11. Royal Rumble 2012

The Royal Rumble
— They actually tried here, throwing up a bunch of numbers and on occasion Cole would say how many Rumbles a wrestler had been in or giving a running tab on the minutes. The Beginning is fun, with Miz and Cody Rhodes doing work, and even the comedy bits of Santino and Mick Foley working to a degree. The ending is even done well, and of course, the athletic people do tend to show off, with the highlight being Kofi Kingston. I don’t know who booked this, but if it was Pat Patterson, he’s getting senile. There is a flow to the match, and but here all the big names are piled at the end, and we have way too many mid-carders clogging up the time. We even got to pass time seeing Jerry Lawler come in, then doubled down with Booker T coming in, and then made it an utter farce by having Cole come in. Booker T actually did well, and wasn’t an embarrassment, while Cole completely made Kharma useless- as the WWE did her entire run, from what I read. I would have liked more with Road Dog and her since they worked together at TNA. The huge middle just sucks.

Special Features

Interview with Daniel Bryan.
— Holy crap. How is this pretaped? Joe Rogan has to go talk to people who just spent 15/25 minutes getting the shit beaten out of them, going through an adrenaline dump and he does a better job of getting those non-actors to sound impressive than the WWE does here. (and yes, they are ACTING here)

Interview with the winner
— I love the no spoiler here. Josh Matthews is even worse here, trying to get SOMETHING from the winner, before he figures out he needs to sell the next show.

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