What does a head, a sock, a mop, and a horse all have in common? They are all sidekicks of professional wrestlers, at least side kicks that were not exactly…..alive. This week on Pounding 7’s, I will countdown the top 7 sidekicks that were not alive! Who will make this list? Find out this and much more as we pound out this weeks Top 7.
We will start off with an original with #ask7pound.
Troy wants to know about the long retired United States Tag Team Championship.
Why were the US Tag Team titles retired back in the 90’s, and who ended up being the last US Tag Champions ever?
The Barbarian and Dirty Dick Slater won the United States Tag Team Championship from the Fabulous Freebirds on June 25th, 1992, and held the championship before it was retired and discontinued on July 31st. They are the final champions under the WCW regime. The sole purpose of getting rid of of the titles was to focus primarily on the WCW and NWA World Tag Team Championship, which was unified at the time. WCW felt that having three separate tag team championships were too excessive and would take away the attention of the main World Tag Team title belts.
Last week we discussed a heel turn by Barry Windham against his tag team partner, Lex Luger. This week we will shift focus to the victim himself, and that would be the one and only Lex Luger. Luger has had his share of heel turns throughout his career, as he has been a face and a heel on multiple occasions. I will take you back to 1989, just over a year after he was turned on by Windham. It was the Clash of Champions VII, Ricky Steamboat faced off against Terry Funk in the main event of the evening. After the match, Funk was disqualified and Funk, along side the Great Muta and Gary Hart attacked Ricky Steamboat brutally attacking him. Out comes Luger to a massive ovation to make the save and fend off Funk and company. After he cleared the ring, he cut a promo basically stating how he is not going to allow things like this to happen. He holds up Steamboat and says “Come on Ricky, let’s go” He then hits Steamboat with a vicious clothesline, followed by the Torture Rack, instantly turning the Total Package heel, and he would continue throughout the rest of the year as a heel before again turning face in February, 1990.
First lets start with a couple of honorable mentions for sidekicks that were not exactly alive.
Who can forget Abdullah the Butcher, and his little side kick if you will, the fork. Abby would come to the ring with his fork and literally gauge his opponents forehead with it. Looking at Abby’s forehead himself, he may have been the test dummy for it.
In the late 90’s Chavo Guerrero had Pepe’ the horse. Chavo used his horse as one of his best friends, pretty much because no one else could care less about the nephew of Eddie Guerrero.
Rocko the dummy- I strongly considered Rocko to be in the top 7 here, but because he was not around for very long with his buddy Paul Ellering and the Leigon of Doom. He makes the honorable mentions.
And here we go with the 7 best sidekicks that were never alive.
7. Alex- Rick Steiner, back in the late 80’s developed a little sidekick he named Alex. Alex was a drawing on Steiner’s hand that he often spoke to, and would get advice from. You would see Steiner talking to Alex in most of his interviews, and also during his matches. Alex makes the top 7 as he was one of the first sidekicks to never actually breathe.
6. Mitch- How can we leave out a simple, but lovely plant from the Ambrose Asylum. Dean Ambrose introduced the world to Mitch the plant, who he seemed to be a little too fond of. The marriage would not last very long as Chris Jericho dismantled it on an episode of Raw, hitting Ambrose over the head with hit, literally destroying it.
5. Mine- In the mid to late 80’s, George the Animal Steele, was pretty much on his own. So outside of his turnbuckle feddish for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He had a little stuffed animal that he referred to simply as “Mine.” If I am not mistaken, “Mine” was a little Koala Bear that George brought to the ring with him and he sat in his corner during his matches.
4. Moppy- Some people use the term everything but the kitchen sink. As you have seen so far, some people have imaginary friends, some have a stuffed animal. Perry Saturn befriended a Mop. His name is “Moppy” Saturn had Moppy during his stint with the WWE after he was essentially was alienated from everyone in the WWE, and virtually served no purpose. Moppy was a way for Saturn to cope with the realization that he was awful.
3. Little Jimmy- Who can forget when R-Truth had his little imaginary friend, Little Jimmy. Little Jimmy became so popular with the fans around the WWE, that they even made a T-Shirt for Little Jimmy. This, to my knowledge is the only time that the WWE has licensed merchandise for a character that basically did not exist. The result? It sold out almost every arena.
2. Mr. Socko- Many wrestling fans remember Mankind, Mick Foley, and or Dude Love, whatever you want to call him, oh and dont forget Cactus Jack. Especially when he was thrown off the Hell in a Cell by the Undertaker. That’s how you should remember Foley by. But who would have thought that the legend of Mick Foley would go through a sock. Mr. Socko was introduced to us in 1998, and has pretty much been a name sake ever since, even to this day. Most wrestling fans will remember Mr. Socko. He even paid a visit to Mr. McMahon while he was in the hospital, creating one of the most watched segments in Raw’s 25 year history. Just be careful, because this sock may just end up in the back of your throat.
1. Head- What does everybody want? What does everybody need? Head was a mainstay in the WWE with Al Snow, not only in his WWE days, but in his ECW days as well. Some, in fact most would say that Head was much more popular than his owner Al Snow. While Snow had multiple gimmicks as Leif Cassidy, Avatar, just to name a few. Head was literally a Mannequin head that Snow carried to the ring with him, and often got involved in his matches. Many times costing Al Snow’s opponents a win. It is not even close to have Head as the number 1 sidekick to not actually be alive.
So tell us, did I miss any? What would your top 7 be? Leave a comment and let us know what you thought of the Pounding 7’s this week, and if you have a topic you would like me to countdown. Send me a tweet @StephanHall or an email firstname.lastname@example.org.
See you next week!
And that is all for this week, what did you think? Anyone, or anything that did not make the countdown? If you have a topic for discussion, or even a question that you would like answered, please send me an email email@example.com or send me a tweet @StephanHall #ask7pound. Enjoy your week!
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