Movie Review: Cockneys vs Zombies

Yeah, I am getting back into B-Level Horror. Sue me.

We start off Cockneys vs Zombies with a construction site, where a pair of men discover a sealed door (by order of Charles 1666) and the men enter, looking for gold or something. They discover a bunch of skulls and dead bodies. While one of them is making fun with a skull, he is bitten and then the other man is attacked. Roll Credits.

Yup, no asteroids, no goofy military experiment, just a tomb with a zombie. You would think in the age of armor zombies would be pretty easy to take care of. Not like you can bit through plate mail, and having archers in trees or placed behind a proper stockade would do well. Cockneys vs Zombies bros

Anyway, we come across a pair looking to rob a bank. They join a third who has a steel plate in his head, I’m sure that’s not going to come into play.

We flip over and the pair are delivering meals on wheels to their grandfathers retirement home. All the old people are a lot of fun, especially the Grandfather, who seems to be willing to go buck wild on anyone that looks at him cross-eyes.

So long story short (too late) the group are going to rob a bank, to get the money to buy the retirement home and keep granddad safe. Not long after the bank job goes south, the Zombies attack, and the people go to save Granddad and his friends.

Then Hilarity ensues. Both groups figure out they are under Zombie attack fairly quickly, and that’s part of the fun.

So how is Cockneys vs Zombies?

Better than it has any right to be.

Cockneys vs Zombies 1Seriously. If you enjoy lower-tier Zombie smash ’em ups there are few better than I have seen, and I have seen a lot worse. The Cockney accents really doesn’t hurt too badly, even for a Southerner like myself who has a problem with a Boston Accent at times. I love some of the slang that is thrown out, like when the Grandfather tells the boys he’s going to “Slap Seven Shades of Shit out of you” just little parts like that are fun. Some parts don’t work as well, like the guy with the steel plate in his head, the guy who has no idea that the Zombies are attacking and that’s a bit more important than the bank robbery and so forth.

I seriously think that if you enjoy goofy horror-comedies you have to watch this one. I’m not sure I’d ever pick up the DVD unless it was part of a collection of Zombie movies that I didn’t have but I would make a point of watching it if you haven’t already. Throw it on your search function of your DVR and make sure you take a look.

I’m going a 6 on Cockneys vs Zombies, High Praise, I know but there is a bit of rewatchability in the movie and again, its a fun movie just to throw in the DVR and take a watch.

FYI: Pussy Galore is in this movie. Seriously!

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