Welcome to the Blog About Nothing. I usually post on Friday’s and I will return to that slot next week, hopefully, but events on Friday pushed this edition to Saturday. Nothing bad, really, but sometimes life and the B.S. it brings gets in the way.
I’ve been listening to Drake’s Views ever since the album was released on April 29th. I’ve been listening to it in a constant loop since then. I’ve made no secret of being a Drake fan, because I relate to some of his lyrics. I wish I could relate to his bank account, but for the time being I’ll accept relating to his lyrics. Some people called Views a safe album because he chose not to move to far from his comfort zone of R&B laced lyricism. While I like the album, a lot, I understand the criticism.
As I sit here listening to track number 7, Redemption, there is a refrain says “please give me time cause I’m searching for these words to say to you right now”. That’s how I feel blogging sometimes. This thing isn’t easy. Especially for people who don’t necessarily like opening up. With Mother’s Day coming up this weekend, talking about my mother’s health was a difficult decision I made a handful of times. I didn’t, and still do not like doing it, to be honest. I’d prefer to keep it to myself, but I have to go there from time to time, to be honest and to use this blog space as the vent tool that I need it to be from time to time.
I still do not like doing it though. I was taught to keep things private, and to maintain an image. It was never directly said, but if you observe your family members well enough on how they handle things, you can put one plus one together for yourself. Knowing that, that’s how I moved through life these thirty-four years. How are you doing? I’m fine. Is everything OK? I’m fine. I’m fine has become my blanket answer for so many things, even if I wasn’t, or am not, fine. Even now when I do open up even a crack, I feel it usually goes ignored.
Kind of like this blog, I guess. I don’t get too many views. I used to care. Now I don’t. I’m just thankful for the opportunity to work on my writing, and just to have the platform. I’ll take that. So I understand people who don’t move too far past their comfort zone. They prefer to occupy that space that works for them. Far from me to criticize, and probably why I like people like Drake who can open up but still keep so much of themselves to themselves.
Since Mother’s Day is this weekend, and I did mention it earlier, I wouldn’t be lying if I didn’t say this day is mixed with joy and sadness. Sadness for those friends and family members that I have who have lost their mothers. The day cannot be easy when you do not have your mother to share it with. While my mother may be bedridden, and not able to celebrate the day like she has in years past, I still have her. I know a day will come when I won’t, and I’ll know the pain that those of you who have lost your mothers will feel.
There is no one like your mother. Despite what relationship you may have with her, there is no one like her. So, that’s the joy I will have. Despite the stroke, I still have her. She’s still here. Some days are better than others, so she might either be talkative and alert on the day, or she might be sad and quiet, but I can still hug her. I can still talk to her, and do everything that I can to make her smile. A smile is a gift in itself to me these days. I’ll take that. I will.
I don’t have much for you all this week other than this: be thankful for what you have and who you have to share it with. Hug your Mom if you can, call her if you can, spend time with her if you can, and if you cannot it’s OK. Just keep her in your heart.
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