2016 NFL Draft Diary: Picks 1-10


Welcome to my NFL Draft 2016 Diary!

I’ve been doing this for several years, and I love the Draft. Being a fan of all things Carolina, its the best way for my teams to get better, since we have never signed a prime free agent in basketball, and normally get guys in football either pre or post prime.

I’ve been doing this for the past few years, and this year I decided I would go with the NFL Network over ESPN, basically because the powers that be over there decided that they would drop the insiders for more time with the talking head, and lets be honest the less promotional videos in my life the better. I normally type when those play so it might make this a little harder for me.

Rich Eisen. Man I’ve missed his voice. I tried listening to his podcast some time ago (years ago) but It just felt like a really bad imitation of Dan Patrick. Might have to revisit it.

We get an intro video of Sissifuss introducting the draft. I almost thought I was watching a UFC intro. Oh it’s about HOPE. I figured it was about being a Browns Fan.Laremy Tunsil Smoking A Bong

Welcome to Chicago! I like having the Draft here, sorry Jets Fans. We get a look in at the Rams War Room. Of course all they talk about is the QBs. Showing how sad things are. You have a QB that wasn’t 500 in a second tier conference vs a guy that has never played on National TV.

Mike Mayock, David Shaw and Steve Mariuchi are here. I’m going to miss Kiper, I just know it.

Roger Goodell is out to announce the Rams are on the clock, and we get a bit on the trade. I still think it was too much.

We kick outside to Kurt Warner, Charles Davis, and Daniel Jermiah.

Warner likes Goff better as the safer pick, but compares Wentz to Big Ben. Daaamn. The other two talk about production vs Potential. I’d be real worried about Goff now. Nice job of going over all the QBs that have started for St Louis since Kurt Warner left in 2004. One guy has a winning record- so I guess Goff fits right in?I’m a little worries that the Rams haven’t picked yet, you would think they would be right there immediately.

HELLUVA stat from Shaw: Only 5 QBs drafted after round 2 since 1996 that had 3 or more outstanding years- thats 20 years. Well 17 since hard to do that as rookie. But Damn. Russell Wilson, Tom Brady etc. But that makes me feel better.

Rich gives his regrets for the lost St Louis Fans. Steve talks that Kurt Warner wasn’t drafted, he was a free agent. Solid point. Pick is in with a minute left. About time. Big Boos from the crowd.

stl-rams-helmetJared Goff QB | California | Junior

I actually like the other guy better, but I’ll come back to that.

No real stunner with the guy being local and under 500 from a second tier conference. Nice point about him not being alive last time there was the LA Rams. Physically looks like Matt Ryan. Oh good.

We see four passes. I love this. One is underthrown, one is an interception at the NFL level, but the other two are good.

Deion Sanders is here with Goff. Deion just grins and says random things, I’m glad he’s here. Rams are done until round 4. Thanks for playing. We stop talking about Goff after Deion grins and immediately talk Wentz non-stop.

phi-eagles-HelmetCarson Wentz QB | North Dakota State | Senior

Here is why I like Wentz better. I’d rather take the small school guy that produced over the mid-major (and yes, Cal is a mid Major) guy that didn’t. I do think Sam Bradford is an idiot. I’d look to see him sit a year behind Chase Daniels and then let him start. Sam Bradford can go sell popcorn.

I love the Draft Party Cams. Wentz is an inch taller and 21 pounds heavier than Goff. 20-3 as a starter. Deion is back to grin. I’m still waiting for Deion to ask a question that an 8 year wouldn’t ask for a school paper. Write this down. Wentz is going to be better than Goff.

No mention of Laremy Tunsil yet. I mean ZERO.

Rich states the Draft has started as we peek in on the Cowboys War Room. Then go to a commercial. Thanks Rich!

Guy #3 states that the Chargers backslid last year in our CorperateNoShitFact. He declares it has to be a left tackle and Laremy Tunsil is mentioned, still nothing about the gas mask.

Oh, and did you read Earls take on it here?

sd-chargers-helmetJoey Bosa DE | Ohio State | Junior

Opps. I think all the Mocks just exploded. Fist bumps in the war room.
I’m not a fan of the pick, I think they had bigger needs. I wonder if they tried to trade down until they had to. I like Bosa, he doesn’t miss tackles often and has good speed. Bosa didn’t expect to go this high. Who did?

Here is my question. The Chargers play a 3-4, and they are not going to put him on the DL with his speed. I’d be happy with the pick if they played a 4-3, but now he’s got to either move inside or learn to cover tight ends and running backs. You do that with the number 3 pick? Just an odd pick. Bosa works hard enough that he might make it work, but its not the best fit for either player or team.

Nameless guy says Bosa was their guy, and they should look at Elliot. I would agree with both of those statements, they don’t need OL, and other than Ramsey,  Elliot might be the best move. Ian Rapoport comes in. He says the coaches want Ramsey, but Jerry wants Elliot. The question is if Elliot was a corner or a safety. Cowboys are all happy and clapping. Deion adds knowledge about the defense needing help and rookie running backs don’t give 16 full games. The panel all think Ramsey. Eisen says if Elliot is the pick, the Jags will rush the stage for Ramsey, and I agree 100%. Steve says thay the Cowboys can get a back later on.

dls-cowboys-HelmetEzekiel Elliott RB | Ohio State | Junior

Mom (?) is fist pumping like Tiger Woods at a stipper convention. Everyone is waiting for Elliot to get off the damn phone to walk to the stage. When he finally does, we get the promo package, we couldn’t get that while he was talking on the phone?

I do love the pick, if I’m a Cowboys fan. The division sucks, and that O-Line is solid as the Jimmy Johnson salad days. They could grind teams down now. The panel flips and loves the pick. Deion actually contributes and makes the Emmitt Smith comparison. I don’t see it, Elliot is bigger and if he runs the ball 40 times a game, then Jerry Jones will have someone shot. Great pick and recovery from Bosa.

Commercial- after the Cowboys pick? Do they not know who pays the bills?

We come back and the Jaguars are all happy, and made the pick two minutes ago. There isn’t a chance in Hades this isn’t Jalen Ramsey. And it’s not.

jax-jaguars-HelmetJalen Ramsey CB | Florida State | Junior

The is he a corner or safety mess is a question, but he’s 6’1 and 209. He’s got wingspan to make Jay Bilas cry. I’ve seen this dude vs ND and UNC and I’m glad he’s in the AFC. The Jags will love this kid until his contract comes up.

Deion should be happy, since Ramsey is the second coming at FSU for Deion, but Ramsey can tackle. Maybe Deion can teach him how to catch.

The Ravens are taking their time. I should think Laremy Tunsil is going here. The NFL Network must be tazing everyone that tries to say the words “Gas Mask”. This has to be an Offensive Tackle, though, right? The crew is quiet, I guess to figure out how to explain how they have ignored the gas mask this whole time.

blt-ravens-helmetRonnie Stanley T | Notre Dame | Senior

Namesless guy says he’s a better run blocker than Tunsil, and “cleaner off the feild, something that is about to come into play” uh what? Keep in mind, if you live in a cave, and have nothing but the NFL Network, YOU HAVE NO IDEA what has been going on with Larry Tunsil. ZERO.

Of course, he’s an ND guy, so he’s awesome to me. I think he’s a RT more than a left tackle, but he’s going to be in the NFL for a decade.

We FINALLY get some talk about Tunsil. An HOUR into the draft. Ian Rappaport gives the bare bones. Deion asks Stanley if he expected to go before Tunsil. That was uncomfortable. Deion recovers by talking about his clothes.

The Niners have already made their pick, so Cleveland is on the clock, but the NFL Network don’t give a shit, they got snuggie commercials to play. I guess I’ll go back to ESPN next year.

Including the commercials for the NFL Network. Yeah, those you could possibly skip, right?

sf-49ers-helmetDeForest Buckner DT | Oregon | Senior

Nameless guy has to shout out Buckner AS Goodell is walking out- is he on tape delay or did he have to sit there and watch the dollar shave club commercials with us? Were the other stations waiting while someone from the NFL said hang on, we got to show one more spot.

Ok, onto Buckner. THIS is who the Chargers should have taken. He’s a true DT, and has great power.

About time, we get the Browns pick. I don’t have my yearly top ten bust pick (and I’m perfect so far) so the Browns have to come save me right? I’d hate to go with Goff, cause I hate to just say its the QB that went too high.

Rich says this has to be Tunsil, even though “He went a little Cheech and Chong on us” DAMN. His agent has gone crazy calling teams. Uh, no shit. What else would a guy taking a percentage going to say?

Oh SHIT. A trade! Titans have come up. Nameless guy says its for Hargrave or Tunsil.

Browns move down, give up a 6th rounder for
2016 Rd. 1 (No. 15):
2016 Rd. 3 (No. 76)
2017 Rd. 2

Browns hire Jimmy Johnson or something? These are wise moves!

ten-titans-helmetJack Conklin T | Michigan State | Senior

Ok, the Notre Damer I can see. This I can’t.

Conklin is a road-grading guy that is going to make someone’s life unhappy. The problem is, they have to teach him how to pass protect. Is he even a tackle? I’m not saying he ‘s a bad pick, but with Tunsil there, there has to be something to the gas mask. Even NFL  Network is talking about it now.

Conklin works hard, and is going to be a solid player, but has got to learn to move his feet. Not a bust, but not a left tackle either.

If the Bucs get Tunsil, I will NOT be happy. And just like that, a trade! Thank you Bears!

Bears give up the 106th pick to move up 2 spots. Has to be Tunsil, right? The Panel agree with me. Since it’s the Bears, it has to be the Walter Peyton Man of the Year. Funny to do that with a pothead pick, right? I would think you would do that with the player who won the awards pick, since he is up there to make another team better.

Goodell is back out with some kids so he’s not booed off the stage.

chi-bears-helmetLeonard Floyd LB | Georgia | Junior

And he wasn’t going to be around? This could have made the Bears one of the better lines, if not the best line in the NFC North? The Bears will regret not doing that.

So we have the first major question mark of the non-QB’s and Floyd might be a situational pass rusher. yup. Way to go Bears. Myles Jack is a better player as well, but they will regret the Tunsil pass. Needs to get stronger as well.

The Ravens took Tunsil off their draft board after the Gas Mask Picture Ouch

The Panel has done nothing but talk Tunsil and Jack and comparing dropping due to stupidity vs dropping due to injury. The Giants dropped Jack off their board due to the injury. I think Deion and the guys outside have gone to bed.

ny-giants-HelmetEli Apple CB | Ohio State | Junior

Six foot nothing two-hundred and nothing. Nameless guy is hating on him. Apple is fast as lightning though, so it’s going to be interesting.

Hargreaves is the better player, but he’s not as fast. I have to think the Giants should have went with Shaq Lawson.

I’m going with Eli Apple as my top 10 bust. Sorry Giants fans, but out of my 8 options, I think he’s going to have trouble on the NFL level, but might end up as a punt returner/nickel guy just watching the burners.


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