Bond Movie Review: Thunderball

Thunderball! This is the fourth James Bond movie, and this one starts off great, with a funeral, but its a trap to pull out one of SPECTRE’s operatives, and we get a brutal fight that’s a ton of fun, say what you will about Connery Bond, but the guy puts out great fights. This one has the fun escape of a jetpack to get out, even Bond one-lines about efficiency.

Skip over to SPECTRE

So #1 Breaks down all the nefarious deedsThunderball spectre
#6 is dead, via Bond
#7 Blackmail – 40M Yen
#10 Ass 3M Franks
#5 Robbery 250K Pounds
#11 and #9 Drug trade, 2.3M Dollars, one of the men is embezzling, and he gets the Will Farrell treatment.

Then Number 2 – Largo – tells of his plan to steal 2 atomic bombs and ransom them for 100M in diamonds.

Bond is on recovery at a spa, and gets all rapey with one of the staff, but does meet Count Lippe who has a tattoo that looks like a Mah-jong tile, and a man in bandages.

The bandaged man is a double for a NATO pilot, and even after spending 2 years learning to be his double, makes 2 mistakes right from the word go- and also demands more money from a criminal organization. Yeah, Brain Surgeon there. The evil plan goes off without a hitch, and of course the double is killed, and in a nice touch, his handler is blamed and a message is sent to the “Assassination Division” that’s just a great touch.

Bond has been sent to Whitehall, and with all the other “00” agents and I do like this, we get to see all of SPECTRE and all the 00 agents- but we don’t see any of the other British agents. They are all given a packet with all the information, and Bond recognizes the man from the Spa, and M sends him to Nassau where his sister is.

Now we get a whole bunch of hot women, a twisting plot and double turns, and the return of Bonds Magical Penis.

And this is my Italian  . . .
And this is my Italian . . .

So how is Thunderball?

To be honest, it starts off well, and moves steadily downhill, simply because Spectre and Largo, the big baddie in this one, know who Bond is, and yet do very little to stop him from finding everything out. Largo is also very visible, considering the fact there is not only his life, but the whole plot there. But again, we have to skip logic often in Bond movies, but lets be frank, anytime we get an underwater scene, it’s BEYOND BORING. In addition, all the females bouncing around (not in a good way) tends to run together, you almost have to watch it a third time to get everything.

Oh but we have to talk about the ending. Whoa boy, that effect through the windshield. I’m not going to run this fifty year old movie, but whoa boy, this was bad even in 1965. Who they hell was in charge that day and said, yeah, that looks good. This is a frustrating movie to grade though, the good parts have SO much potential, but the bad parts are just oh so bad. I guess I’ll drop a 4 on it, its worth a watch if you like the Connery Bonds, this did make a TON of money- but like a lot of early Bonds, its bloated beyond belief.

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