I went through the Puppet Master series last year, and I said this, if I had to make a movie
“Easy. I’m going after part 3. I’m having the Puppets take on the Nazi’s as part of the underground. I’m concentrating on the original set- even Leech Woman. Imagine Tunneler and Pinhead working to derail a train- or Blade trying to cut the power to a Nazi Prison?”
They came close. We are after 9. Like the next day/week. This is Puppet Master X – Charles Band is calling this one X, since Puppet Master vs Demonic Toys didn’t count.
So is Puppet Master X: Axis Rising any good?
Well, lets get to the plot.
Its the next whenever, and Ozu, or the Japanese woman is trying to escape from someone, she comes across the Germans, and bargains for her life. Since she was only on the set for a day, she’s killed off after giving up Tunneler, who raises my hope for the series getting a quick kill. As Blade just stares, and hurts my feelings, as Blade is scared of two guys. I’d take Blade +element of surprise + Tunneler vs 2 guys. But plot moves on, as the next Day, Danny tells the puppets that Ninja is dead, and Tunneler is still captured, and I have to stop the movie to throw 9 in to see if this matches up, and IT KINDA DOES, Ninja did get hurt, but Jester and Leech Woman was in the bag too. So B for effort there. 3 minutes of Blade cutting 2 free or even 30 seconds of Ozu tripping and dropping 2 of 3 bags would have made it perfect.
Flip over to the Nazis and they are working on a project to bring the dead back to life, and fail when a test subject melts. Yup. Nobody cares until the HOT NAZI CHICK comes in, and oh, by the way, the captive Doctor has a daughter that is captured by the Nazis. I have no idea why the Germans would take a brilliant scientist to LA in the middle of WWII, but oh well. Speaking of Kidnapping, Danny and Beth (both recast, I noticed, guess the originals couldn’t get off work) are taken by mystery men. It turns out they are brought to the US Army, and praised for part 9. Then they are given a homeless man’s R Lee Emery to protect them until a general can come over to award them a medal.
Back to the Nazi’s and the Doctor has figured out how to make the puppets come alive (I’m skipping a bit for spoiler sake) and creates a new one, and it attacks, shooting up Pinhead. The Doctor creates 3 more and its a PUPPET WAR!
So how is Puppet Master X: Axis Rising?
About like the rest of them, great idea, fun concept, shit execution.
Again, my biggest complaint about the who series, WE DON’T GET THE PUPPETS ENOUGH. We get 4 new puppets in this one, and even when its a puppet on puppet fight, its 30 seconds, and even then its like my 5 year old banging Barbies together. One fight is Pinhead just being tossed on the back of the RC Car. The “final” fight beterrn the two female puppets might as well be two Barbies. We get WAY too much of Donny and his little group with the puppets either not around or just standing there. You would think BLADE is the one you’d want around and doing stuff, but its not until the end that he does squat.
As for the new ones, It’s amazing how much they look like newer ones, yet should be a lot more effective than they are. Again, we get a primary one, Bombshell and the 3 others don’t do much, and again- putting the soul of a person in them isn’t used, because who cares about continuity, right? I’ll give Puppet Master X: Axis Rising a 3. I’m pissed at it. We don’t get what we want out of the HOT NAZI, we get horrible acting, and the puppet fights are done by my five year old in her tub. It was nice of Charles Band to do this one himself, instead of using a fake name, so he has no one to blame but himself.
What the hell is up with not getting any Puppets doing ANYTHING? I didn’t sign up to see the Doctor getting hit on by the HOT CHICK, who doesn’t even give up the goods. As I stated, the Puppet fights are useless, and way too much time is spent on Sarge and Danny, and holy shit I get tired of his “I just want to enlist” crap. I’m as Rah-Rah as the next guy, but dayum it got old. Not to mention the whole keeping Jester and Leech Woman at the house to save money watch the home from. These puppets barely move. The only mobile one is the RC car. This just screamed cheap. When Bombshell shows off her assets, it might even be the same effect, and its zoomed in so you don’t see the whole thing, I bet its two different setups.
Holy shit, I hope we get some actual work next movie. There is potential here, a tank, a Fembot, a werewolf and a Japanese suicide bomber? Other than the overt racism, that could work!
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