Movie Review: My Bloody Valentine (1981)

This one should be fun. I have not only this original My Bloody Valentine, but the remake as well, so we should get a pretty good impression here. This is right around the whole Jason movie slasher money train, and there are a ton of  cheap slashers, but this one has a good bit of love for Horror Fans, but for some reason, no sequels were ever done, to my knowledge, even though one made money, maybe its a Canadian thing.

My Bloody Valentine Sexy timeWe start off with two miners (Not MINORS) going down the shaft- OK, you can stop now, you dirty minded freaks. Anyway, one of the miners starts pulling off gear, and its SEXY TIME, so I resend my earlier comment on your dirty minds. The other miner isn’t taking part, so she starts striping. I can think of a bunch of other places to do the deed but a mine, Black Lung is bad enough, but it could get worse here. He finally has enough, and impales her on a pickaxe that was stuck in the wall.

Welcome to the 70s!

We get a nice little backstory dump. Long story short, 20 years ago 5 men got stuck in the mine cause two supervisors went to a Valentine’s day party. Damn Unions. 4 of the 5 died, and the last one only survived by EATING THE OTHER FOUR. Holy Cripe. He went just a little insane, and killed the two supervisors and cut out their hearts to put in Valentine’s Day gifts (available at Hallmark) and told the town to never celebrate Valentine’s Day again. The town responded by cancelling all dances, and being stick in the mud about it.

My Bloody Valentine kids20 years later, all the youths want their dance back, cause they need to party! Of course, they all look like they are early 30s, but again, this might be cause its Canada.

So we get a normal slasher of a man in a mining outfit killing folks and sending the hearts to the cops. Is it Harry, the last survivor? Is one of the 30 year-olds playing a teenager? Is is Al Gore, tired of the miners raping the earth?

So how is the original My Bloody Valentine?

Quite decent, actually.

The Plot is thrown out there early, and My Bloody Valentine does try to stick to it somewhat, and we do get some really good and different kills. I suppose that since Freddy or Jason- and even Micheal never went into the mines, you just don’t get the pickaxe, even though it should be an obvious weapon of choice for a killer.

I’ll actually give this one a 5. I enjoyed this one, and I am looking forward to the remake. A slight spoiler, this one is setup for an easy sequel, but we never got one.

But let me get into the big problem of this movie. It has a HORRID cast. its goofy and screams 70s, the love triangle parts are aged 27,21, and 31! These are the young people who need a dance? It does tend to ding the movie, but not as much to hurt your enjoyment of it.

Will the remake of My Bloody Valentine improve or hurt? Come Back tomorrow and find out!

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