Movie Review: 50 Shades of Grey

50 Shades sq

Everyone has heard of 50 Shades of Grey, right? We all know what this one is about. But lets go over a bit of it. This is looked at as an entryway into BDSM, for those who don’t know, and also started out as a Twilight fan-fiction. I have never seen Twilight, so you got me there. So lets talk about 50 Shades of Grey, shall we?

The movie starts with Anastasia Steele, who is an English Lit Major at Whatever University. Her roommate is a Journalism Major at the same place, and has gotten an interview with a Dot-Com Billionaire Alumni of the University. During the interview and reading the same tired questions that every interviewer asks, for some reason Grey gets interested in Anastasia. Grey visits Anastasia at a hardware store she works at. Grey buys cable ties and rope. Ding Ding Ding! Anastasia asks him to show for a photo shoot, and he agrees. Later, they go for coffee, and Grey jumps up and says that he’s not the right man for her. Later, he sends her the first editions of two Thomas Hardy books. Later that night, Anastasia gets drunk at a party, and calls Grey while waiting in line for the bathroom. She tells him she’s sending the books back and that he’s an asshole. He realizes she’s drunk and tracks her down, and takes her home.

The next morning, she realizes that she’s in his bed, but he slept “downstairs” since he doesn’t sleep in the same bed with his lovers. Grey explains that he wants to have a relationship with her, and wants her to sign a non-disclosure agreement before they date.

Now we get the fun part. Grey has a contract he wants her to sign, this one covering all the fun sex stuff we have heard so much about.

So how is 50 Shades of Grey?

Oh I got problems.

50 Shades AnaI don’t want to spoil the movie, I’ll do that after the spoilers, but I found 50 Shades of Grey to be a bit slow, and while I got where Ana was coming from, I mean how many 22-23 year old virgins from the Northwest get a chance to date a Billionaire right? What I don’t get is Christian Grey. I have major issues with a lot of things he did. Even under second watching I have the same questions. The sex stuff is a bit underwhelming, I mean its 2015 at this writing, and I think everyone reading this has access to porn that is BDSM related that is tons worse than this. Heck, some of you have probably done a lot worse than this. I honestly think a far better movie is Secretary. My wife does like this movie, and it might be part of the reason I have a second daughter, but my first thought of this movie is I need to read the book. Since the bride really, really loves this movie, and has read the books there must be a TON here that is skipped. I’m going with a 2 here. I just can’t see a reason to see this movie, specially if you know a THING about BDSM. (or have access to the internet)

Ok, Spoilers.

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