Movie Review: Elysium

 Elysium sqMovie Review: Elysium

OK, I’m going to be frank here.

I hated this movie. I really really did. So Let me just throw out there I got NO enjoyment whatsoever here, and I don’t know the book,but that the heck? Even the DIRECTOR says he F*ed up the movie, so thankfully I’m not alone.. This is one heavy-handed movie. I was joking with a co-worker of mine and we thought we could title this one “How many ways can I hate this movie”

OK, the plot summery.

Elysuim DamonEarth is now Mexico. Orbiting above the earth is a Star-Shaped station called Elysium where only skinny white people and orientals live in love and happyness, thanks to med-beds, stolen from Star Trek than can instantly heal all wounds, diseases and makes your farts smell like unicorn dreams.

If the Mexica- er Earth People can get to Elysium, then they can hit the MedBeds and be perfect people. A man called Spider is able to get shuttles and ID tattoos and try and sneak people into Elysium. During one such raid, the Secretary of Defense blows two ships out of the sky, and one is able to make it through and crash lands, and one woman is able to get her daughter on one of the beds before the robots are able to arrest her. Jodie Foster and her HORRID accent is brought on the carpet before the President (of Earth?) and read the riot act, and she blows him off saying basically “You want me on that Wall”

Elysium spaceMeanwhile in Mexic-er Earth, Matt Damon is working at a robot shop, and due to being to stupid to kill the power to a room when going in to get a pallet unstuck, gets nailed with a lethal dose of radiation, and given 5 days to live and a bottle of pills. Damon decides F* the pills, and goes to Spider to try and get to Elysium, and Spider just happens to have a plan to bring down Elysium and, AND an Exo-Skeleton so Damon can walk around like a normal person.

So now Damon has to get to Elysium, and wants to use the head of the company William Fichtner – he worked for as a too-complicated cover even though William Fichtner is in the middle of helping Jodie Foster plan a coup.

So yeah. Horrid movie. 0. Moving on to spoilers.

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About David Snipes 1376 Articles
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