Movie Review: Dracula Untold

Dracula Untold LargeMovie Review:
Dracula Untold

We kick the movie off with a quick backstory on Vlad- yeah, THAT Vlad the Impaler. He is now prince of Wallachia, and subservient to the Ottomans, and he grew up with the currant Sultan, Mehmed II (who if you don’t know, is the guy that finally brought down Constantinople (not Istanbul) Vlad has taken the throne, and is out on a scouting party and comes across a Turk helmet. Following the path upstream, they come across a cave, and inside the floor is made of crushed bone. No don’t leave yet, it gets better. Inside is TYWIN F’N LANNISTER! Tywin starts killing people, but Vlad is able to cut him and when he falls into sunlight, the “blood” vaporizes off the blade. Hauling Ass out of the cave, Vlad comes across Monk Exposition who tells him there is a vampire in the cave, who is trapped until someone finds him, escapes and returns to share in his power. Well, 2/3s done already! If only Vlad could find a reason to need the power of the Vampire!

What? Too Snarky?Vlad

So Vlad is having dinner with his family. The Ottoman Ambassador shows up and demands his tribute, Vlad pays and we get some light threats over the missing soldiers. As the Ambassador turns to leave, he mentions that the Sultan wants a thousand boys to add to his army, this is actually historically accurate, but still, Vlad isn’t happy. After more threats, the Turks leave. That night Vlad gets nagged by his wife about the situation. Vlad goes to talk to his “brother” the Sultan- who is HOWARD STARK! Whoa! Anyway, Stark refuses him and even piles on, saying that Vlad must give up his SON as well as the thousand boys.

So now Vlad has to fight the Turks, but he knows he has no shot, and goes back to the cave- and Tywin says he can have the power of the Vampires, and if he can prevent himself from drinking blood for three days, he will turn back mortal, if not, then he becomes a permanent vampire, and Tywin is free to roam Westeros again.

Vlad and TywinSo Vlad drinks Tywin’s blood, and now has three days to stop to Ottoman Army, avoid blood, and keep his wife and son safe. Guess how it turns out?

The movie spends WAY too much time trying to prove that Vlad is a good guy, and pretending that its not going to end like we think its going to end. I hate to say it, but we ALL KNOW how how its gonna end. I’m gonna give this a rest until the spoilers, but You will know it when the plot hits. Either that or you are in Junior high and this is the first horror movie you have been able to swipe off Netflix under your mom’s password. The movie has a lot of good parts, but some MAJOR flaws that are not exactly apparent while watching it, but on second viewing stand out like a sore thumb. So lets give this one a 6.

Spoilers? Sure

Spoilers Shead

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