Everything is Bigger is Dallas?

Dallas TexasOK, Forgive me, I’m about to go all ranty on a city.

What is Texas known for, other than football?

Steak.

What is Texas’s motto?

No, Not do you speak English, the other one.

Everything is bigger in Texas.

So, as long time readers should know, I was going to goto a restaurant in Dallas and have a giant Steak for my 40th Birthday.

Didn’t happen. Life put on some Steel-toe boots and went for a 50 yarder on my life, and I didn’t go, last verse same as the first on birthday 41.

42? It must be the Power of James Worthy, my favorite all-time player, cause everything seems to be lining up for Birthday Steak on number 42.

Except one thing. Traildust, the restaurant I was going to, has closed. Gone. No longer there.

So lets throw open Google and see where the Biggest Steak is in DALLAS, TEXAS.

Oh, Amarillo.

OK, just a BIT out of the city limits of Dallas.

OK, How about Biggest Steak in Dallas

Oh, Amarillo.

Shit.

Lets see what page TWO has to say. Oh there is a steakhouse in Dallas! Lets look at the Menu. Lets goto Steaks and see how big this thing is.

22oz.

Really? I can beat that HERE in Shreveport.

Nice to do, but a little far to drive
Nice to do, but a little far to drive

Let’s run a few more searches.

Biggest Steak in Dallas Texas

Big Steak Dallas

Big Steak Challenge Dallas

Challenge Dallas

Big Eats Dallas

You know what I get here?

You guessed it. Amarillo. I’m sure its a fine town, but DAMN.

I do get a 64oz CHICKEN FRIED STEAK and some Burgers.

I’m not getting a frikken Chicken or a BURGER.

Holy Shit Dallas, get your act together.

If you ARE in Dallas, and for some reason have found the warp-tunnel to Amarillo that moves it closer, please let me know. Also, if there is a better Steak Place, also let me know. I can get a GREAT STEAK here, I want a GIANT GREAT steak.

 

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About David Snipes 1398 Articles
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4 Comments

  1. David,

    As lone who once resided in Texas for three years (at least it seemed like that), it is indeed true that everything is bigger in Texas, including the lies. There is a story, possibly a fold tale not base on fact, that a guest speaker at a North Texas meeting was introduced as a visitor from an “outlying district.” The guest speaker remarked, “No district can out lie Texas.”

    Texas is also known for its cow college “jokes” about TAMU. I can attest that at least one of these stories is false. Coke in bottles sold on campus do not have “Open Other End” printed on the bottom. This is proved by the number of broken bottles and liquid mess around every machine.

    But about the size of Texas steaks. Real Texans buy it on the hoof and barbeque it in their back yard. Restaurants cannot compete with this and do not try, so the only steaks you will find there will be for f’eners. To get the sauce to go with the steak, go into any Mexican restaurant and pick up a couple of saucers on the tables. Be sure you get it out of the saucer labeled “For our American Friends” if you want to survive.

    Happy 42. My wishes: Been there. Done that.

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