James Bond: On her Majesty’s Secret Service

 Movie Review:
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

So now we hit the first “Next” James Bond, with Connery no longer wanting to fill the role- and according to most of what I have heard, not happy with the money. This movie had a bad reputation when it first came out, but recently has risen up the ranks as many people’s favorite Bond. I know of two things going into this film.
1) The Lazenby One.
2) Bond gets married.

on her majesty 2Bond is driving around, and the film is taking GREAT pains to not show his face. I mean, on the big screen- that cigarette must have looked like a manhole cover. Bond gets passed by a HOT CHICK in a sports car, stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Bond, ever the stalker, follows her to the beach, and when she gets about knee-deep, he runs in and “saves” her. Then as he is making his way out, carrying her from the deadly knee deep Atlantic Ocean, Bond is attacked by 2 men for no reason. After a fun fight, the HOT CHICK swipes Bonds car, apparently made by Q to squeal tires on sand, and then  we get out first full look at Bond 2.0 as he says “this never happened to the other guy”
Roll Intro.

Now Bond . . .James Bond is at the casino, and the same woman walks in, and loses 5K in a hand. She whispers to the pit boss she doesn’t have the money, and before she has her kneecaps taken off at on her majesty casinothe neck, Bond throws a marker to pay her tab. Later on, she thanks him the way women thank men back in the 60s.  The next morning she is gone, and Bond is forced into a car and driven to meet . . . some guy who thinks that Bond can tame his daughter. As a parent of 3 girls, I can’t see this as a good thing. He’s the head of the SECOND biggest crime syndicate- after Spectre, and Bond whats to know where Blofeld is, the man won’t tell him, unless he agrees to marry his daughter- for witch he will be paid ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

Yup, thats gonna end well.

So now Bond, after some light fussing with M and some banter with Moneypenny, meets up with The Man and the HOT CHICK and oddly enough, she gets PISSED when she finds out about the deal, even though Bond refuses the money- the crazy kids go off and fall in love, because that’s what CrimeBoss Daughters and Spies do.

More fussing with M, and Bond quits the service, and cleans out his desk, and for some reason he has a souvenir from the past Bond movies. No wonder Q is pissed at him, he never returns anything! Bond must have one helluva Amazon channel. (as do we! Click here!)

on her majesty alpsBond is setup to infiltrate Blofeld’s lair in the Swiss Alps under the guise of being a member of the London College of Arms genealogist Sir Hilary Bray- who is not only supposed to be checking Blofeld’s case for being a Count- but is also FLAMING GAY. Bond is sent to the lair, and is instantly surrounded by the women that Blofeld is curing of allergies. Yup, GAY BOND in a Swiss resort surrounded by the top 10 of Miss World 1968. Oh and Bonds wearing a kilt.

This is not going to end well.

All in all, I do love this movie, its paced a bit better than most of the Connery ones, and while Lazenby is not the best actor in the world, his cast is ON POINT. I bet Roger Moore and Dalton are hating the fact they didn’t get this script. The direction is fun, and other than the opening parts with extreme closeups I can’t really complain about anything else.

lazenbySo lets talk Lazenby.

He’s below average as an actor. At times WELL below. He was hired because he was a model, and a car salesman, and apparently was better than anyone else. Really?

When he isn’t thinking- he’s decent. His fight scenes are well done, for the time frame, and he is working hard. He’s more or less beliveable, and he does bounce off the cast pretty well. The Ending, (in Spoilers) does tend to hurt Lazenbond a bit. Its a hard scene to pull off and I do thing the director tried to hide it.

This is Bond, so the Logic flies out the window. The nods to all the previous movies does tend to get a bit on the nose- but So far, this is my second favorite Bond. I find it to be a solid 8 mon her majesty mrs bondovie. I might have to pick this up if there is a good commentary track.
Would I want to see Lazenbond again? I think of all the actors to play Bond, he is EASILY the worst, but again, he didn’t have the best direction from what I have read, as far as working with him, and while he had one of the stronger scripts, he just couldn’t pull it off to blow the entire franchise out of the water. Had this been his second or third movie, maybe he would have had the expericnce to be a great actor, but some of the WORST advice given by an agent in movie history means we will never know. Brosnan would have nailed this movie to the wall.

 

Spoilers Shead

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