Magic Turtle’s Road Signs

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In extensive travels across my township, I have encountered many road signs which seem to mean something different than what they say. Some of the ones I remember are:

Stop Ahead I see no problem if I am the only one in the car. But what if there are two or more heads here?

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Slow Curve Thanks for the heads-up, but it has always been a high fast ball which has been my undoing.

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Slow Children The faster kids are in the next block.

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Slow School No fast schools allowed. Or is this the place for the slow children from the previous sign?

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Runaway Help us return them to their parents.

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Center Lane If failing, use the other lanes.

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Quiet Hospital Noisy hospitals should keep out.

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Dip Actually I appreciated this sign. If it had not been there, I would have hit him.

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Dead End Mostly seen in congested areas but perhaps more appropriate during long rural drives.

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No Outlet False! I have just been able to recharge my cellphone there.

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Street Work It’s about time they put those lazy streets to work.

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One Way “But officer, I was only going one way.”

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Worms Worms or Snakes snakes ahead.

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And now for some road signs that speak for themselves.

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BoringTrain DetourCross Elderly

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Enchanted CavesRoutesWinery

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No GoOopsKeep Right

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About Appleseed 20 Articles
I was born in 1937 and have been the subject of controversy in other ways as well. I dreamed of becoming a hermit when I grew up, but social issues which needed attention kept getting in my way. So eventually I became an activist hermit. My interests include mathematics (including statistics and computer science) and also range from history to sports (particularly ice hockey) to philosophy to narrative fiction (particularly science fiction) to music.

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