GOOD LIBERALS

GOOD LIBERALS –Liberalism

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iran or Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth’s climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV’S.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can’t teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don’t care about nature, but PETA activists do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
12. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
13. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, or Abraham Lincoln.
14. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
15. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried is because the right people haven’t been in charge.
16. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
17. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.

 

** Note: This does not reflect the views of the entire staff of 7poundbag.com

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Comments

comments

4 Comments

  1. Whew… glad I’m not a liberal… most of these things are pure meshuga…

    Still… this piece is obviously a part of a vast right wing conspiracy…

  2. Thank goodness I’m more conservative with my political thought. I’m a self admitted Democrat but I’m definitely not in the same boat as some of my more liberal friends.

  3. An interesting list, indeed. You might try a more balanced list by also specifying what conservatives must believe. This could be constructed easily from your list by reversing the “:for” and “against” in each item. For example, a good liberal from “1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.” you could say that for a good conservative “1 You have to be against abortion on demand, but support capital punishment.” Similarly, for a good liberal “17 You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.” could be rewritten as for a good conservative “17 You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, left-wing conspiracy.”

    Try it with the other items in the list. Chortle.

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