Movie Review: Last of the Living
This movie sucks.
Welcome to a 1. There is no reason to waste your time, money, effort or even the electricity it takes to spin the disk in your player. It actually took 3 shots for me to get through this piece of utter shit. Seriously. I got through I am Omega and Puppet Master: Recap in one sitting, this took THREE.
Let me give you a plot. 3 guys have survived the Zombie apocalypse, and even though there is a working power grid, they get bored, so they go out every now and again just to go shopping. You have Guy 1, who has a rep of being a fighter, but turns out his one fight ended up with him getting his ass kicked. Guy 2 who is just an average wannabe redneck stereotype who loves Heavy Metal, and Guy 3, who might as well be wearing a T-Shirt that says “Last Surviving Virgin” on it.
So they leave, and come across as pair of fellow survivors, and man and his semi-HOT daughter- the Man has a cut, and after some debate if it is a bite or not, he gets bit, and the foursome flees. All three men take turns being stupid, and hitting on her, and she ways she is on her way to an island, with the cure. All they need is the blood of a Zombie, and somehow only a single machine will be able to draw that blood. OK. She is a genius scientist, by the way. We lose guy 1 getting out of the hospital. Then Guy 2 once we reach the island, and the girl by her being stupid, and guy 3 survives in a rowboat as credits roll, since of course, the island with the cure is overrun by Zombies.
Let me explain how stupid these guys are. You are in a Zombie wasteland, and your weapons are a Baseball bat, a set of nun-chucks and . . .a golf club. No guns and no Edged weapons. Some of these Zombies take a half-dozen hits, and some STILL don’t go down. I mean geebus people. The Zombies are uneven. Some are quick, some stagger, one even slows down to pull his pants up. They scream when hit, and respond when screamed at- even giving up “easier” targets.
Ok, you’ve wasted enough time on this pile of shit. I wasted much more than you did.
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