2014 Draft Diary: Picks 1- 15

NFL DRAFT

Roger actually gets cheered, until it turns to boos. Ray Lewis has joined us after a long career as a college scout. I’m watching on ESPN,

This has got to be Clowney, I still think this is a trade down, just makes sense with the Texans running a 3-4. Can he drop into coverage? Gruden keeps pimping for a QB, Kiper all but slaps him.

I’m trying to think of all the great QBs Gruden drafted. I need to do some research.

The Texans are taking a LOT of time. Only a minute left before the pick is FINALLY made. Then we kill a few minutes before the reveal.

1. Houston Texans htn-texans-authentic

Jadeveon Clowney, DE, South Carolina

Duh. Why waste all this time? Kiper says he has the highest grades since Bruce Smith? Damn.

Kiper says he was blocked by 2,3,4 guys at times, if thats the case then I’m not drafting ANY South Carolina guys. If I can’t win playing 10 on 6, you got problems.

I like Clowney, but I wonder about the scheme he’s going to play in, and they have to get a QB. I still wonder what trades the Texans turned down.
Gruden is still bitching about a QB.

stl-rams-helmet2. St. Louis Rams

The Rams also waste 8 minutes waiting on the pick. Again we are commercial free until the end of the hour, but lets take about the GMC . . .yeah. Shall we drink everytime they say Bud Light?

Rams need OL, and I mocked them a WR, Defensive back help would be nice.

Greg Robinson, T, Auburn

Bradford has to be happy. Never good when you actually see a OT get beat on his highlight reel. Kiper says he has problems in pass protection. Well, its a good think he’s going to such a running team. Gruden points out that he gets a lot of flags, and shows a lot of holds. Ok, now I’m scared if I’m the Rams.

I liked Jake better.

jax-jaguars-Helmet3. Jacksonville Jaguars

Jags are up now.

Gruden calls out Bortles as a local kid and they do have Henne for 2 more years. Lewis wants Watkins, I can’t blame him here. Of course the Jags just suck out loud, they need a TON of talent.

Blake Bortles, QB, Central Florida

Is he going to fill the stadium? I don’t know. I mean not a prize coming out of High School, and not really on the radar. How impressive is he going to be in the NFL? I mean really. I just wonder if he wouldn’t be there 10 picks from now.

WE HAVE A TRADE

4. Buffalo Billsbuf-bills-helmet

About damn time. Gotta be a O-Lineman here, did they get nervous for Jake Matthews or Lewan? Boomer is about to wet himself.

Bills move from 9 to 4

Browns get.
9th overall, 2015 number 1 and 4.

Kinda cheap to be honest with you. The Jags turned this deal down?

Sammy Watkins, WR, Clemson

Dumasses. I understand he’s the best WR in the draft. But name me the WR you would give 2 first round picks for.

Tell you what, say Detroit calls you and offers you Megatron for you 2015/2016 pick. I’m a Panthers fan and I turn that down. I think only the Pats and Broncos take that deal. Just a horrid pick for what they gave up. The Browns made a good deal, since Manziel is still out there and could get him at 9, or Teddy at 26.

Shefty says they were looking at Odell Beckham Jr if they couldn’t move.

oak-raiders-Helmet

5. Oakland Raiders

They can’t get Manny can they? I still like either Mack or a Lineman here. They need some talent. Gruden is still pushing Manzeil stock. I can’t see a QB here.

Khalil Mack, DE/OLB, Buffalo

DJ is going to be happy here.  I have not seen a lot of him, but I’ve read good things, he should be able to get on the field and stay there. He looks a little short, but again, keep him out of coverage. I do love how Gruden has bad film on everyone.

 

atl-falcons-authentic6. Atlanta Falcons

At least Gruden won’t whine about a QB here. I’m interested in this pick, I like Matthews more than I like Lewan, but lord knows I don’t want the Falcons getting a good player.

Jake Matthews, OT, Texas A&M

Bitch.

Kinda Funny that Manziel might be the THIRD Texas A&M player going in the draft. 6’5 308 and F’N HUGE. He’s not as raw as Robinson, and I like him more. Gruden does bring up the fact that Manzeil runs around a lot. I don’t think thats going to be hard to figure out.

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneerstb-buccaneers-helmet

Please let them get Manzeil. PLEASE! I want to taunt Zach for the next few years.

Shefty is looking at Manzeil to Minny at 8, and Evans to Tampa. Not happy there. Josh McCown is under center, but I still like the NCST guy last year. Gruden for some reason is looking at Aaron Donald- thats interesting, then goes back to blowing Johnny Football. T-Bay, Minny, Cleve, That might be a good spot for the QB.

Mike Evans, WR, Texas A&M

He bursts into tears. Holy Shit thats a scary offense. Good thing about it is the Panthers can get to the QB and blow his socks off. He goes and hugs his QB, who actually looks happy for him. Must be Manzeil knows what a shitty coach they have.

My only issue is Evans likes to hold the ball out, and he could fumble the ball a lot if he doesn’t learn to cradle.

 WE HAVE A TRADE

cle-browns-helmet

Cleveland gave up a 5th Rounder (145th overall) to move up a spot. Thats just stupid. 5th Rounders can start for Cleveland.

8. Cleveland Browns

Gruden is still whining for Manzeil. I’m still thinking OT. Ray Lewis actually agrees with him. Now I’m scared. The Trade just seems stupid.

These picks are taking FOREVER

Justin Gilbert, CB, Oklahoma State

Why the boos from the crowd? They are chanting something. Free Manzeil maybe?

Not a bad pick, but I just don’t see it. Unless they are grabbing a QB at 26. They have too. If he’s a lockdown corner, then i’m ok with this. He’s only 6′ though, so I don’t know if he’s going to outbody a number 1 guy. Is Hayden and Gilbert a top CB duo?

min-vikings-helmet9. Minnesota Vikings

Not much of a preview here, since WE FINALLY GOT A DAMN COMMERCIAL.

I have to see a QB here. Minny had 3 first rounders last year, and can’t really keep trading up. I still like Teddy more than Johnny.

Anthony Barr, OLB, UCLA

WHAT THE FUCK!

Horrid pick. Just awful. He’s a senior, people, and its not like he was a monster last year. I just don’t see him here. I just don’t see it. He might even play some DE, but not often. I don’t like the pick.

10. Detroit Lionsdet-lions-helmet

BARRY F’N SANDERS IS IN THE HOUSE

And its a Madden Cover plug.

Dammit.

Eric Ebron, TE, North Carolina

Ebron is playing the too Cool and I’m on the phone card. He’s from UNC, so he’s awesome, but still. He’s a HUGE upgrade over Pettigrew.

I’m ok with the pick, since he can get open in the middle, and let Megatron run around without both safeties after him. He very well could be another Jimmy Graham, as such as another wideout.

I kinda can see the pick, but I don’t think it was the BEST pick.

ten-titans-helmet11. Tennessee Titans

Gruden says he’s getting tired of saying Manzeils name. Good, I’m tired of HEARING it.

Locker is still there, and I think they need some OL so he’s not dropped on his head so much

SOMEONE hears me as they take

Taylor Lewan, OT, Michigan

First off he’s from Michigan, so fuck him.

Shefty is up and he breaks down where Manzeil can go. I’m starting to hate him and would be glad to tell Manziel where he can go.

The pundits fuss about where he’s going to play, since they signed Oher- I was unaware Oher was another Ogden.

ny-giants-Helmet12. New York Giants

The Giants can’t be happy with the Titans pick, they need a cold-weather player up front. Eli got beat up last year, and Gruden pimps Zach Martin from ND, and Ray wants a WR like Odell.

I’d go Martin myself, since a LOT of LSU WRs don’t do squat

Odell Beckham, WR, LSU

He’s 5’11, Again, my wife is a MONSTER LSU fan, so I’ve seen a TON of his games, and he has that LSU thing where he can make some unreal catches, and drop a few. Don’t expect him to block either.

stl-rams-helmet13. St. Louis Rams

David: Rams are back up. We have to get some DB talent here right? I’d take Clinton-Dix, but thats just me, Shefty already has said there will not be Johnny Football in the Rams future.

Donald wouldn’t be bad either. Holy crap, they have 12 picks? Jeff Fisher could have a major run here if Bradford is the real deal (and doesn’t kill the cap)

We have a St Jude’s patient, to announce the pick (Love St Judes!)

Aaron Donald, DT, Pittsburgh. 

Again, I cannot fuss, other than I like Clinton-Dix more. Any chance he falls to Carolina? Damn.

I’m not sure he’s got the first step to blow people up, but that might just me.

chi-bears-helmet14. Chicago Bears

Bears have to take Clinton right? I mean they need secondary help, and they play Rodgers and Stafford twice a year.

But light is still playing that stupid ass Governator Commercial where he plays Ping-pong? Did anyone like that commercial?

Pretty much any defensive player would go here. Tillman is what? 50?

Kyle Fuller, CB, Virginia Tech

Gruden likes him more than anyone else. Please let the rest of the teams think Clinton-Dix has been picked.

I have seen him a lot, and he can hit you and drop you. It could get painful on the frozen spaceship.

Pittsburgh FLEW up there.

HOLY SHIT. Mel has Clinton-DIx 7th on his big board- thats at 21! That might be in range for the Panthers!!

pit-steelers-helmet15. Pittsburgh Steelers

Ryan Shazier, LB, Ohio State

Nailed that in the Mock.

Good Job Zach. He’s a frozen field type of guy, and is really good in coverage. I really do like this pick for them.

 

Well, this is going to be our halftime break.

Johnny Manzeil is still out there, and thanks for reading.

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About David Snipes 1360 Articles
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1 Comment

  1. Chad Henne will start the season, but give way to Bortles in the 2nd half of the season. Henne is a backup basically.

    Khalil Mack was a nice pickup for the Raiders, even if he’s a bit raw.

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