American Werewolf in Paris

American Werewolf in ParisOne movie I have always liked growing up is American Werewolf in London. The effects don’t hold up, but the acting is better than average and the story just keeps moving along, and it even has a bit of a moral question: would you die so other innocent people could rest in peace, or stay alive and possibly keep killing?
The sequel is in Paris, and even though I could quickly tell it didn’t have the craftsmanship of the original. But is it worth a watch? Lets find out.

3 American tourists have hit the Eiffel Tower, and like all Americans, they are a bit cocksure and are looking for a thrill. Dodging the air-tight Tower, the trio decide to go bungee-jump off the side. Yeah, I’m hating all these guys right now. A Hot Frenchwoman is standing on the ledge, and Andy goes to try and talk her down, she doesn’t care and jumps. Andy dives after her, and when the other two see that Andy has not secured his line- they jump on it and somehow aren’t yanked off the side, but Andy deposits her on the grass and she runs off, leaving our hero in love and dangling.

Andy goes looking for his lady-love and tracks her to her home, A man named Claude there blows him off, but eventually gives him a paper that tells of a party that is going on at the Club de la Lune, and that the girl will be there. That night, the boys show up, and get locked inside the club, but the girl shows up and helps Andy get away. Chris also almost gets out but gets captured by Claude. All the French in the Club start killing all the Americans. Yeah, I know. I couldn’t believe it either. Brad does get killed but Andy does get away, but he’s bit in a battle with the werewolf, and passes out.

Andy awake the next day with the girl! NEKKID! The girls name is Serafine, and she’s so FINE- well, 80s fine, but still. Andy is going into shock so SeraFINE does what any woman should do in his situation, mount him and let him feel her boobs. Maybe its me, but wouldn’t that put most men INTO SHOCK?? She lets him know that he’s a werewolf now. Alex’s ghost shows up, and Andy freaks and takes off.

SeraFINE
SeraFINE

We get the mythology this time. To break the spell, you have to eat the Heart of the werewolf that created you. Ok. Andy takes this news quite well, going out and getting lucky with another American tourist. Hold up, you go all the way to Paris to hook up with SOMEONE FROM TOLEDO?? WTF?? Andy kills the girl, and kills the cop that was tailing her- yeah, I’m skipping a lot of the cop stuff- its thrown in, and might as well be as useless as a group as it is as a plot point. We do get Amy, the tourist’s ghost to visit now as well.

Claude shows up, demands Andy join them or they will kill Chris. SeraFINE shows up and starts tearing up stuff as Serafine and Andy escape though subterranian tunnels.

Now we get Mythology 2.0 (for the sequel)
Let me cut through all the mess. SeraFINE’s dad is a biochemist, and he worked to find a way to reverse the transformations, it didn’t work, and SeraFINE killed her mother and attacked her dad, thats who was trying to get out of the manhole cover at the beginning we all forgot about and we so important I didn’t care about it at the time either. There is a way to become human and lose the Werewolf “power” you have to kill the werewolf that bit you, eat his heart and whammo, you are human again. Did I mention that already? Yeah, so did the movie.

Claude hits the lab and steals the magic potion that allows them to become Wolves no matter what phase the moon is in. You know since thats the exact opposite of what the potion was supposed to do.

Next up we see a Fourth of July Party coming up, cause Claude loves Americans. We have a nice big party and then CLaude and the rest come out in robes- They drink the potion, turn into wolves and start eating. The cops bust thier way in, and start shooting the place up, saving some- killing all the wolves but Claude- obviously. Andy kills one wolf (the one that killed Brad) and SeraFINE becomes SeraWOLF and goes after the other wolves, Andy starts shooting them as well, and puts a cap in SeraWOLF. Doesn’t kill her though- for some reason we don’t need Silver unless they have a speaking role.

Now its time for the MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING!

Claude-Wolf and Andy-Wolf go at it. Lots of slaming and growing and finally Claude is tossed in front of a train – and that knocks him into human form. He tries to take another shot of potion, but Andy knocks it out of his hand. Andy figures out that Claude is the one that bit him, since if it was SerFINE that would suck. Andy wins a fairly dull battle on the train and eats Claude’s heart. So Andy is now free, still don’t know who bit SeraFINE, who is still shot. She starts turning into a wolf- and gets an adrenaline shot for some reason, shock I guess, but for some reason he doens’t give her a chance to feel his boobs. That does stop the change- Oh I get it! Adrenaline stops the beast but a sedative forces the change- its all backwards! So glad SeraFINE’s dad is such a genius, he couldn’t figure that out?

Next scene we get Andy and Serafine having thier wedding on the Statue of Liberty, and bungee jump off the top, as credits roll.

Yeah, Not better
Yeah, Not better

I loved the original movie.

This one sucks. I mean oh my gosh. The original was silly as well, but it had classic moments, such as the movie theather scene and the progression of the shades that David killed. We don’t get that here, we don’t get the comedy that the original had, we don’t really have the acting or even the classic special effect scenes. Claude really never worries me, I don’t care about the cure, and I never really get pulled into Andy or worry about what happens to him.

This sequel was 16 years after the original, and a poor attempt. I will not be looking forward if the same writer makes An American Werewold in Berlin, or Amsterdam or wherever he is.

Grade: 2.0, even SeraFINE can’t make this worth it.

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