Musings From the Bench

musings from the bench-2









You know what I like about baseball? Nothing. And let me tell you why.Mets - Mr_ Met (Mr. Met,, “Right in the feels.”)


1. The slow pace.

Games go on forever with some innings lasting longer than some marriages.

The longest recorded game in regulation play was 4 hours 45 minutes on August 18, 2006 between arch rivals the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox with the Yankees beating the Red Sox 14 to 11.

scoreboardAnd if the score is tied after the regulation nine innings, the game continues with extra innings until one team or the other wins. The longest recorded game with extra innings was 8 hours 6 minutes between the Chicago White Sox and the Milwaukee Brewers which went 25 innings on May 8, 1984, and ended with the White Sox defeating the Brewers 7 to 6.


2. Too many games.

There are 162 games in the regular season. That’s a fact.

Exhibition games number anywhere from 18 to 20. Post season has anywhere from 3 to 20. (I don’t see how there can be only 3 games but that’s what Google said). Using the higher number, that means the two teams in the World Series have played 181 games, and should the Series take all seven games to determine the winner, that’s a grand total of 188 games of baseball. No wonder fans get so hung up on stats.

vin scullyAnd I would just like to say seeing exhibition baseball scores when it’s 20 degrees or lower where you live is just obscene.


3. Lack of action

Reminds me of the Armed Forces — hurry up and wait.

Everyone is in their designated area but nothing is happening. Then the pitcher and the catcher are having a game of catch while we’re all stuck watching them. At some point the Umpire yells, “Play Ball!” and things are finally under way, at least until the batter enters the batters box. There he takes a few practice swings, spits, grabs his crotch, readjusts his ‘cup’, checks his batting helmet and then steps out of the batters box to tighten his batting gloves. My God, man, in or out. What are you…a cat?!

cat at gateI’ve been told baseball is a battle between the pitcher and the batter. The pitcher tries to throw the ball without the batter hitting it while the batter tries to hit the ball and get on base. Everyone else on the field is just the supporting cast.


4. The rules.

The pitcher throws the ball, the batter hits the ball, the ball is caught and thrown to the baseman in an effort to get the batter (now called the runner) out.

Nowadays they have designated runners, designated hitters, pinch runners and pinch hitters (probably the same as designated), infield fly rules — it’s just plain confusing. I doubt Abner Doubleday would understand the rules including the newest one about collisions at home plate.


5. 7th inning stretch.

The games are so long the fans have to stretch during the 7th inning.

WilliamTaftThe story goes that President William Howard Taft went to the April 14, 1910 game between the Philadelphia Athletics and the Washington Senators. After sitting in what must have been a very uncomfortable position for a man of his bulk, Taft stood up. The crowd, thinking he was leaving, stood up with him. A few minutes later, the President sat back down as did everyone else and play resumed.

Now during this ‘stretching period’ they have someone sing the song “Take Me Out To the Ballgame” while they do it.

Here’s a little trivia for ya –do you know by whom and where that song was written? Here’s what I found out.

It was written by a successful songwriter named Jack Norworth who scribbled the lyrics on a scrap piece of paper while riding the train to Manhatten to watch a baseball game.

Today’s 7th inning stretch features sausage races, team mascots shooting T-shirts into the crowd and a chance for the home viewer to grab a beer, some nachos and ‘hit the can’ before play sausage raceBaseball may be fun to play but a total borefest to watch.boringAnd the only thing more boring than baseball is a documentary about baseball. Sorry Ken Burns.

BUT, baseball movies are a different story. I LOVE baseball movies.

From ‘Kill the Umpire’ starring William Bendix to ‘Moneyball’ starring Brad Pitt, and everything in between, I am a huge baseball movie fan.

Whether it’s based on a true story or a complete work of fiction, a baseball movie scores a grand slam every time with me.

kill the umpirea league of their own




Field_of_Dreams_postermajor leaguepastime8 men outmoneyballlittle


One last thing…..Mets 2nd baseman Daniel Murphy took 2 or 3 days off to attend the birth of his son and spent the first few days of life with his wife and child and sent the sports media world into a tailspin.

He was gone 2 of 3 days….the season just started , there’s close to 160 games to go. Pfft…..a baby’s father should be there for the birth and a few days after. Being there just for the conception is sooo last century.

Besides, it’s the Mets, they don’t like baseball any more than I do.daniel-murphy-ny-mets-player-ftrThanks for reading. Until next time.

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About Jane Gray 58 Articles
Born in the '50s, grew up in the '60s, got married in the '70s. Gave birth in the '80s and started collecting social security in 2013. My time is my own and I don't mind sharing my opinions on everything with everybody. I hate injustice, the truth is easier to remember than a lie. I like the New England Patriots, the Boston Celtics, the New York Mets, and that English futbol team from Liverpool.


  1. Excellent piece of writing… and it’s your opinion, so, that’s that Jack… or, Jacqueline, as the case may be.

    However… where to begin…

    1) Either you love baseball or you simply do not. Baseball can either be like Kasparov and Karpov playing chess, or, like you and me playing chess… either way the best field game ever invented will have been played. Baseball is not a game of constant and immediate action; it is a game of ebbs and flows and deliberate and methodical moves and counter moves. The beauty is in the watching of how the defense tries to dictate, by its subtle on field moves and the pitcher’s… well the pitcher’s pitching…what the offense can do and the batter and the runners, if there be runners, trying to do their best to foil the defensive strategy.

    Baseball is chess all other sports are checkers… ok… maybe some are backgammon.

    2) The season is too long… there should be 154 game regular season and then the playoffs. Incidentally, the playoffs could be as little as 1 game for a team. There is now a 1 game play-in game between two wild card teams. That means for 1 team it is one and done.

    But as for the game itself.. I could watch it anytime; any where… I once had nothing to do in Boston so I got something to eat walked to a park and sat down and watched a bunch of kids play and enjoyed it thoroughly. It’s just a great game.

    3) One of the great things about baseball is that there ain’t no clock… so, games go until they are done. Be that 9 or 27 innings or more. And, yes, there once was a 27 inning game that ironically ended in a tie… Brooklyn Robins vs Boston Braves, 1-1, played on May 1, 1920 at Braves Field. Game was called due to darkness.

    Per a Sports Illustrated article on the game: “The Robins entrained the following day (Sunday) for Brooklyn where they lost to the Phillies that afternoon in 13 innings. Monday they were back at Boston playing 19 losing innings against the Braves. In three days, three games and 58 innings they lost twice and got a tie. (When the tie was replayed later in the season, Boston won it.)”

    And, just for the record a game could be as sort as 4 and ½ innings… a game is official if it reaches a halfway point and due to weather, or other unforeseen circumstances, is about to be called… (per wiki): “If the visiting team is leading, or the game is tied, (then) end of the fifth inning marks this (half way) point). If the home team (which bats last) is already ahead in the score, and theoretically would not need its half of the fifth inning, then 4½ innings (i.e., the middle of the fifth) is considered an official game.”

    4) I too love baseball movies regardless of how corny or inaccurate. Its freaking baseball, what’s not too love?

    5) As far as the crap surround in Daniel Murphy and his maternity leave… (a) it’s a negotiated union right for him to take his leave… so everyone should STFU about it and (b) I agree if a man wants to be there for the birth of his child and the support for his wife then everyone should GFT (Go Fuck Themselves) and accept his decision.

  2. Jane, I couldn’t agree more. I think the most boring thing in the world is a “pitcher’s duel” in the middle of a hot August afternoon.

  3. One last point: Michael Jordan once said “I’ve never lost a game I just ran out of time.”

    In baseball that excuse would never work…

  4. As i was reading your comment my mind drifted to where my mind drifts to when hubby is explaining whatever upcoming project he has planned and goes over every detail in depth with schematics.
    You’re absolutely right, you either love baseball or you don’t. Me? I love curling. Don’t get to see it much, not even when they play it in the Olympics because the broadcasting network puts more of the completions on its cable and satellite channels. Wouldn’t like to play but I do love to watch.

  5. When I worked in an office at a local hospital back in the late ’60s early ’70s, my desk was across from the desk of my immediate supervisor…..a rabid Red Sox fan. By the time July/August rolled around her enthusiasm increased, often saying “the Red Sox are a hot weather team” and listening to the games while at work by running the cord of the portable transistor radio up her sleeve with the earpiece in her ear and the portable radio in her desk drawer. As long as the department head didn’t catch her all was good. At least until one day when her favorite player, Carl Yastremski did something amazingly wonderful and she stood up at her desk and her arms raised and shouted. The radio came out of her desk drawer and was just kind of hanging in mid air until she lowered her arms and it rested on her desk. Lucky for her the Big Boss wasn’t there at the time. The rest of us laughed and she said ‘the Red Sox are a hot weather team’ again and I said ‘too bad the World Series is played in October.’

  6. Correct me if I’m wrong but, didn’t Vince Lombardi say something similar after a Packers loss?

  7. Not that I know… he did say winning is the only thing or some odd thing like that… but my brain is usually numb most afternoons when at work so don’t go by me… I could be totally wrong about it all.

  8. Most sporting events like NHL, MLB, NBA, NFL last about 3 hours, of course some are less and some are more, baseball can be exciting if you watch a game that there is some action in, like a 14-13 game won in the bottom of the ninth. Its different then say the NBA where there is scoring approx every 24 seconds. A boring sports to me would be hockey, soccer, and golf, golf is 18 holes where the player walks more then they hit the ball and it lasts 4 days before a winner is decided, now that’s boring.

  9. well, well, well… like I said before… no clock in baseball… and, no bullshit justifications or excuses for losing.

  10. Okay, I’ll grant you that golf can be boring unless you have someone you like in whatever tournament is being played. Personally I like Phil Michelson. BUT, Happy Gilmore and Tin Cup, both golfing movies were entertaining.

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