What up world? This EJ and I’m back with another edition of this shit. I’m a random guy. Random enough to post a 2 Chainz meme. Shout out to the homie 2 Chainz real quick. That’s my dude. Welcome to the blog this week, and besides listening to a lot of 2 Chainz, I’ve also been looking at a lot of YouTube videos. You know what I really like? I like those autotune videos from The Gregory Brothers. It started out with the Bed Intruder song and I’ve just gone from there. Antoine Dodson is the man, and if you don’t know that then you are really dumb. Really dumb, fo’ real! This week I’m going to talk about why I find the media is making too much out of Marshawn Lynch, why Eli Manning giving Peyton Manning advice is just laughable, a quick Super Bowl preview, Warren Sapp being a hater, and my thoughts on the NBA All-Star reserves. Let’s do this!
Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch isn’t talking to the media. Damn! Damn!! Damn!!! Well, actually he is talking to the media but when he speaks he sounds like his mouth is full of a Double Cheeseburger from 5 Guys. Get yourself that Double Cheeseburger. Damn! Damn!! Damn!!! (shout out to Daym Drops real quick and check out his YouTube). Pardon my french but I don’t get what the big fuckin’ deal is with Marshawn not talking to the media, and why they are going H.A.M. about it. The man don’t want to talk, and forgive me from judging a book by it’s cover but it looks like he doesn’t have anything poignant to say anyway. He’s a running back, he’s Beast Mode. Just give him the rock, watch him run a guy over, and leave him alone. I’m sorry but not every athlete is going to bring something of substance to the table. Some dudes just want to do their jobs, and keep themselves on the low.
That’s the media for you though. This is the reason why I hate the two week delay for the Super Bowl. This game should be played the week after the Championship round games. Why? This two week delay gives the media ample time to beat this game to death. By the time kickoff comes around you’re going to be exhausted hearing about Marshawn, Richard Sherman, the weather (which thankfully will be a non factor), and about Peyton. Exhausted. I’m already at a don’t give a fuck stage and we still got a couple days to go. I hate the media. I hate them. Fuck those assholes. I’m ready for the game to start. Damn! Damn!! Damn!!!
You can’t hug every cat and Peyton Manning cannot take into consideration a single thought his little brother Eli has for him. Why? Despite his two Super Bowl rings, Eli Manning sucks. I’m sorry but he does. Yes, this year’s Super Bowl is being played in Eli’s home stadium (Met Life stadium), and yes Eli has played against the Seattle Seahawks this year but Eli threw 5 interceptions against that Seahawks defense, and he threw 15 of his 26 interceptions at home. You have no advice for the man who threw for 55 touchdowns this season, Eli. Actually, I’m wrong. Eli does have advice for Peyton. His advice should be do not do a thing I did this season against the Seahawks. Don’t do it. Look at the game film, big bro, and do the complete opposite. That would be the best advice Eli could give Peyton.
The reason for this rant is because I’ve seen it reported several times over the past two weeks that Eli is giving his brother advice on how to deal with the Seahawks and the Meadowlands and I double over in laughter every damn time. You can’t help Peyton, Eli. You can’t do it. You’re not good enough. You’re not. Big brother Peyton will likely go down as one of the greatest quarterbacks to play the game. Eli? Merely good, but far from great. Far from it. So sit back Eli, kick your feet up and hope that your brother isn’t you for the night. Go hug a cat!
I’m sorry Sweet Brown but I do have time for the Super Bowl. Oh I do have time for that! Sunday February 2nd, the NFL season comes to an end with the Denver Broncos facing off against the Seattle Seahawks. I won’t mince my words. I expect the Seahawks to win this game. Why? Defense and the run game. Peyton and the Broncos offense were rolling all season, but the Seahawks secondary are big and physical. The pick and rub plays that the Broncos run in order to get an open receiver won’t work against Kam Chancellor, Earl Thomas, Richard Sherman, and the boys. Nope. They can withstand that. While Colin Kaepernick isn’t Peyton Manning, the Seahawks had no issue shutting down a physical receiving corp like the 49ers and I expect they’ll have no issue with Eric Decker, Wes Welker, JuliusThomas, and Demariyus Thomas. While the secondary is holding up the receiving corp, the Seahawks front seven should be able to get a couple shots at Manning and throw off his rhythm.
For the Seahawks offense I expect two things: plenty of Marshawn “Beast Mode” Lynch, and some designed runs for Russell Wilson. Attacking the Broncos run defense would be a smart play by Pete Carroll’s team. Russell Wilson is a fine quarterback but he isn’t known for putting up big passing numbers. Taking advantage of his agility, and rolling out of the pocket would be wise on the offense’s part. Running Marshawn, some designed runs for Wilson, and taking advantage of some play action pass plays to Golden Tate, Doug Baldwin, and Percy Harvin needs to be part of the game plan.
So, EJ is expecting the Seahawks to win. Final score? Seattle 28. Denver 24. I mean I’m not good with prognosticating one-off’s like this. I mean I did win the 7poundbag picks group, and our survivor football group, and I also won our fantasy football league. Wait? I am good at this shit. So you should take time and listen to what I got to say. You got time for that!
Warren Sapp . . . you are so dumb. You are really, really, dumb. Fo’ real! This week Hall of Famer Warren Sapp continued his hating of prospective Hall of Famer Michael Strahan. Strahan, the former New York Giants defensive end, and current TV personality is up for National Football League Hall of Fame nomination. Strahan, owner of 141 sacks, and the single season sack record, appears to be a shoe-in for nomination in his 2nd year on the ballot. However, Sapp, who did get in last year on his 1st appearance for nomination, is hating on old boy by saying Strahan doesn’t deserve to be in the Hall and that he’s overhyped.
Why you hating Warren? Why you being “jel”? Stop being jelly, hater! You mad that Strahan had more career sacks than you? Works for Fox while you’re stuck on the NFL Network? Or is it because he gets to sit next to fine ass Kelly Ripa and host Kelly and Michael 5 days a week? Strahan was a better player than you, and the only thing you have up on him is that you got into the Hall first. Strahan was very correct to say that the tiger doesn’t pay attention to the opinions of the sheep, and I hope he gets nominated to the Hall of Fame this weekend. Why? So he can call out your dumb hatin’ ass out in his acceptance speech. You are really dumb Warren. Fo’ real!
NBA All-Star weekend . . . where many pretty little white girls will be running into the arms of black men. Dead giveaway? Last night the NBA announced the All-Star reserves and for the most part I have no issue with who was selected. Representing for the Western Conference are 2 Houston Rockets, James Harden and Dwight Howard. There’s also the Dallas Mavericks Dirk Nowitzki. The Portland Trailblazers will be sending two players: LaMarcus Aldridge and Damian Lillard. Two point guards round out the bunch, San Antonio Spur Tony Parker and Los Angeles Clipper Chris Paul. I have no beef with the Western Conference reserves. All of them deserve to have made the team. Yes, you can say that Anthony Davis or DeMarcus Cousins got snubbed but since Kobe Bryant, who was voted in as a starter, will be unable to play in the game, one of these guys should make it. Most likely it will be Anthony Davis to give the hosts of the game, New Orleans, a home town guy to root for. The Western Conference will be a strong group for the East to deal with.
The Eastern Conference sees Indiana Pacers Roy Hibbert selected as a reserve. Alongside Hibbert will be Chicago Bulls big man Joakim Noah, Miami Heat forward Chris Bosh, Atlanta Hawks forward Paul Milsapp, John Wall of the Washington Wizards, DeMar Derozan of the Toronto Raptors, and the Brooklyn Nets Joe Johnson. Despite my dislike of Joe Johnson, I’ll admit that he deserved to make the All-Star team. The Brooklyn Nets are coming around and Joe is the reason why.
However, I do have a beef here. My beef is that DeRozan made this game over Lance Stephenson. Lance Stephenson of the Indiana Pacers is having a career year. He’s finally moved past his issues with immaturity and he has performed at an All-Star level for the best team in the East. He goes out and plays hard, and he’s a triple double waiting to happen every night. He currently leads the League in 4 triple double games this season. He’s a star in the making, and the NBA coaches who pick the reserves made a great error in judgement in passing him up.
I’m done. I can’t say no more. Thanks for supporting www.7poundbag.com and thanks for reading. Peace.
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