WTF… January 8, 2014

stop being afraid

1) On New Year’s Eve Phil Keating, a Fox News reporter doing a live broadcast from Miami’s South Beach, spotted a woman and decided to approach her for her opinion of the night festivities.

Slick Phil says to Tall Drink, “Well hello there, tall drink of water. Happy New Year’s people.”

Now, just to be clear a “tall drink of water” is a euphemism for a man or woman (but mostly a woman) that is tall and beautiful… usually, on the very beautiful side of beautiful.  And, it is rarely used these days… in fact, who the hell uses that line except maybe peeps like me who have a hard enough time just doing the old folks boogie because my mind makes  promises that my body can’t fill (… thank you Paul Barrere… FYI: Google Little Feat/“Old Folks Boogie”).

Tall Drink is with a female companion and appears somewhat tipsy as she replies “Happy New Year …”

Keating then invites her to, “… say something to the nation.”

miamiNow it seems different accounts of this story have the exact order of events in various sequences but all seem to agree that Tall Drink and her partner, presumably another Tall Drink, kissed, flipped off the camera, flashed tongue, and screamed, “We’re gonna fuck shit up!”

His response? “WHOAAA! You gotta watch your language now, this is a family show.”

Tall Drink: “(inaudible) Oh, I’m sorry. (inaudible)”

Keating: “Ya ya ya. Alright have fun, happy New Year.”

Tall Drink: (sticks out tongue)

And, Slick Phil slunk off to some other less effusive intoxicated celebrant to converse with after his encounter with Tall Drink was now decidedly over…

Ummmm… its New Years Eve… ya go calling someone, who obviously has been imbibing a quantity of some inebriating substances, alcoholic or otherwise, or, both, a somewhat sexist and obnoxious sobriquet during a live broadcast and you don’t take the precaution to use a ten second delay?

Then ya got what you wished for… real live as it happens reactions from real and uninhibited folks…


2) Former Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, comatose since a 2006 stroke, slipped closer to death on Thursday after a ariel-sharon-sharp decline in the condition of the ex-general who long symbolized Israel’s military might.

Sheba Medical Center (Tel Aviv) director Zeev Rotstein told reporters that Sharon, who for the for the past eight years has been on life support, “… the feeling of his doctors and his sons … is that there has been a change for the worse… We are defining his condition as critical, and there is definitely a threat to his life.”

Reports also indicated that Sharon’s two sons were at his bedside and that a state funeral had been planned.

Now, I understand it is up to every family, or whoever is responsible for these decisions, of whether someone should be kept on life support or not… and I truly understand making, or being a part of making, life determining decisions is extremely hard and entirely unwelcome in anyone’s personal life… (Unfortunately, I have been a part of the process in a slightly different way but it was still a life determining decision that I wish I never had to be involved in because of the lives that wound up being altered) … But eight years?!

Some back story: In January 2006, six weeks before his 78th birthday, Ariel Sharon, the then Israeli prime minister, suffered a massive stroke that was so sudden and complete that doctors advised his family that it would probably be best if he was allowed to die. But his two sons, Gilad and Omri, made the decision to place him on life support and advanced medical care has allowed him to live for another eight years – at least in the physical sense. Sharon has never emerged from his coma but has been reduced to a permanent vegetative state and kept alive only by a comprehensive system of life support. A ventilator breathes air into his lungs and a tube has passed essential nutrients directly into his stomach.

I hate to sound very cold here but the only people, or should I say organization, which benefits here is the damn hospital. Simply put, Sharon is a very expensive patient. His hospital treatment costs nearly 300,000 Euros (approximately $410,000) per year. And in August, 2010 the Israeli Parliament even made the decision to help the Sharon family with the hefty hospital bills when they agreed to bear half the costs.

So, why in heavens name after two or three years didn’t someone just pull the plug here and let nature take its course?

And, I hate to sound like an old hippie form the late 60s and 70s (I know, I know….  I am an old hippie) and think some sort of conspiracy is going on but seems to me there be something here that just doesn’t add up… more here than meets the eye, as the saying goes…

I guess this will just be another of those mysteries that never becomes totally unraveled… like did someone actually fire an extra bullet that killed Kennedy from that grassy knoll? Or… why was the FBI tapping my phone back in May 1970?feeling paranoid

3) This is probably a factoid that I, and, only me, myself and I cares about but…  On January 3, 1920 Babe Ruth was sold to the New York Yankees for $125,000 and a $350,000 loan, so, the owner of the Boston Red Sox could produce a play by the name of “No No Nanette”… and the rest is history. RuthContract

Then exactly 52 years later – January 3, 1972 – A 12 member group, fronted by George Steinbrenner, buys the Yankees from CBS for $10 million… and once again the rest is history.

yanks sold

It is now just 10 short years before another 52 years will have gone by since George, et. al., acquired the Yankees … so by that time January 3, 2024, do you think that the headlines will read… “Hal Steinbrenner led consortium buys the rights to run the 2024 Summer Olympics”?

4) On Monday (1/6) Comedian Natasha Leggero responded to controversy over a World War II veteran quip she had made by stating: “’I’m not sorry”.  sphaghettios tweet

Okay, a little back story is needed here… It all started when Campbell’s, yep, the soup peeps, tweeted what many called a “tasteless tweet that SpaghettiOs had promoted on Pearl Harbor Day”.

Simply, what Campbell’s did was to ask Americans to remember one of the worst attacks on their country by a foreign power by sharing a picture of a giant, smiling piece of pasta waving an American flag and judging by the reaction tweets, mostly very strongly negative, to the tweet that probably wasn’t wise. Twelve hours after posting it Campbell’s deleted the tweet.

Now, as indicated, many folks said plenty about what Campbell’s did, and, that included Leggero as she wound up stirring the pot when she appeared on “New Year’s Eve with Carson Daly” and the talk somehow got around to “the tweet” and she offhandedly said “I mean, it sucks that the only survivors of Pearl Harbor are being mocked by the only food they can still chew.” Seems she pissed off some audience members as well as got quite a few pissed off tweets criticizing her for that comment.

Now, personally, I am not so sure what she said  was so god-awful bad…  I mean if a person is a vet who was at the Pearl Harbor when it was attacked, then, that person had to be at least 18-years of age… and, that means, since the attack took place on December 7, 1941, a vet that old would be 91-years old today give or take a some months, plus or minus… in fact, in 2012, Wisconsin did a search for all surviving Pearl vets and found 40 folks who ranged in age from 88 to 91, and, that means if still living  they would now be 90 to 93…

So, let’s face it, everybody there on that nasty ass day was not 18-years old… but the fact is that the youngest survivors are probably at least 90 if not somewhat older, or,…  and there is no nice way to say this… dead.

And, research, paid for by the National Institute on Aging, shows that most 90-plus people have one or more disabilities, with almost all 90-somethings who live in nursing homes being minimally disabled or worse, and, about 80% of those not in nursing homes have at least one disability. So, is it a great big leap of understanding, or, a fact that is overly hard to comprehend, that the majority of these 90-something folks probably may not have their natural teeth and actually have false teeth, implants or no teeth? And, that maybe SpaghettiOs, or something similary soft, might actually be the easiest and simple food for them to eat? Me? I don’t think it’s that big a leap of comprehension at  all. So, again, what’s the big whoop about what Legerro said?

Be that as it may…  this was her reply to those who told her that what she said was offensive… “I’m not sorry… I don’t think the amazing courage of American veterans and specifically those who survived Pearl Harbor is in any way diminished by a comedian making a joke about dentures on television. Do we really believe that the people who fought and defended our freedom against Nazis and the Axis powers will find a joke about SpaghettiO’s too much to bear? Sorry, I have more respect for veterans than to think their honor can be impugned by a glamorous, charming comedian in a fur hat.”

She continued by making some very salient and insightful points as she stated, “On the one hand you have me, making a joke about how old people can’t chew tough foods very well. On the other hand you have Veterans who receive inadequate care upon their return from active duty, rampant sexual assault against female soldiers, staggering rates of suicide, traumatic brain injury, PTSD, substance abuse and depression among soldiers and political gridlock that prevents these problems from getting solved quickly. Where do you think your outrage and action would be better served, calling me a cunt or doing something about the above problem?”

And ya know what? She is 100% right… and, I, for one, am glad she didn’t freaking issue a phony apology because it would have been the weak-kneed politically right thing to do.. the right thing to do was exactly what she did… point out how veterans struggle to make it through every day and how some veterans don’t have a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out of…

On September  23, 2013, PRNewswire posted an article which said “The Center for American Progress estimates that 1.5 million veterans are at risk of homelessness due to poverty, lack of support networks, and dismal living conditions in overcrowded or substandard housing”…  and that includes theirselves, and their families, going hungry each and every day.

And just to make a point: it seems Patton Oswalt (and who the fuck is Patton Oswalt  anyway???) made a suggestion that Mr. SpaghettiO be photo shopped  into a picture of Nelson Mandela with the two shaking hands and all the silly people came out of the woodwork with these…











Now, tell me, what is more offensive these photoshopped pics, or, what Ms. Leggero said?

5) The other day (1/6) I read how a New Hampshire girl, 12, got her tongue stuck to a flag pole after licking it

Maddie Gilmartin
Maddie Gilmartin

during Storm Hercules. Ms. Maddie Gilmartin touched the frozen pole with her tongue and wound up being stuck there for more than 15 minutes while her parents frantically tried to disengage the child… albeit one who needs her curiosity to be curbed down a tad… from the flag pole.

They used warm water, tried blowing and breathing on her tongue through cupped hands… you name it… but she stayed stuck… until paramedics arrived and did whatever paramedics do in that type of situation to free peeps who decide to “see what would happen.”
The supposedly very chagrined young lady is expected to make a full recovery, but doctors said that it may take six months for her swelling to go down.

What amazes me most about this entire escapade is that no where does it ever say that someone even double dog-dared… ORRRRR…triple dog-dared her to do this insanely not so bright thing.

Did her parents ever not let her watch Christmas Story???? Or, maybe that was the problem… she did see it and thought, “Really? I gotta check this out and see if it be true.”

hot stoveLook, when folks tell you a stove is hot; it’s very advisable not to touch it… and why do you follow that advice? Because,movie_a christmas story_ usually the people who give it to you… usually parents or close family members… have proven to be kinda full of damn good advice up to that point so it is probably damn good advice now.

So… follow this line of thought… when they say don’t touch wet body parts to cold frigid metal; it is kinda advisable to take them at their word and don’t do it.  And, if you gotta follow a different drummer and do it any way… try using a body part that might not be so embarrassingly difficult to get off that frozen metal pole.

6) Today (1/8), it was reported by the wire services that JPMorgan Chase, in a deal to settle federal criminal charges, will pay a record $1.7 billion to victims of Bernie Madoff‘s notorious Ponzi scheme and admit that the bank could have stopped the scam. Madoff’s firm kept its main checking account at JPMorgan for decades. However, rather than plead guilty in court immediately, the finance giant will admit guilt in a deferred prosecution agreement.


Deferred prosecution is a voluntary alternative to adjudication whereby a prosecutor, in this situation the federal government, agrees to grant amnesty in exchange for the defendant (JP Morgan) agreeing to fulfill certain requirements.

The $1.7 billion payment is the largest-ever bank forfeiture and the biggest Department of Justice penalty for a Bank Secrecy Act violation, authorities said. The penalty includes a record $1.7 billion forfeiture to settle criminal charges in the case, the largest against a bank in U.S. history. It was accompanied by a $350 million civil penalty payable to the Treasury Department and another $543 million to settle claims from Madoff investors. JPMorgan will also agree to reform its anti-money laundering policies.

Morgan-ChaseManhattan U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara told reporters that all of the forfeited money will go to Madoff’s victims.  Irving Picard, the trustee in charge of recovering the lost billions of those who got scammed by Madoff, has now collected roughly $9.7 billion of the estimated $17.5 billion that Madoff stole.

In a document outlining the bank’s wrongdoing, federal prosecutors argued that “the Madoff Ponzi scheme was conducted almost exclusively through” various accounts “held at JPMorgan.” On two occasions, in 2007 and 2008, JPMorgan’s computer system raised issues about Madoff, but on both occasions bank employees “closed the alerts”, or, the way I read it is that they ignored the warning flags. Bharara said, “JP Morgan . . . failed and failed miserably…” as he noted that Madoff funneled over $150 billion through a single account at the bank without buying one stock or causing anyone to say “WTF?!” Bharara added that “… (partially) because of that failure, for decades Bernie Madoff was able to launder billions of dollars in Ponzi proceeds.”

Some Wall Street experts are saying the bank is essentially getting a pass and it is being noted that Madoff, himself, said the bank had to know that he was finagling funds but that it did nothing to stop him from stealing from thousands of individuals and organizations.

JPMorgan had previously denied that it knew anything about Madoff’s $17 billion fraud, which involved $65 billion in bogus investments.

I’ve been around this rodeo before and I have posted some damn amazing numbers regarding JP Morgan profits … but, rather than rehash all the data and list a whole bunch of numbers let me just quote a wire service source from April 12, 2013: “The bank made $6.1 billion in the first quarter, after stripping out payments to preferred shareholders. That was up 34 percent from the same period a year ago, when it made $4.6 billion.”

So, in one quarter of the 2013, JP Morgan had already covered their “penalty”… anyone besides me got a problem with this?

My opinion? These banks who cheat, lie and help perpetrate these scams, especially when serious warning signs are out there, and then have the audacity to charge us all their various arbitrary fees (like $35 when we bounce a damn check), need to be taken to the wood shed and given a figurative ass-beating that will actually cause some financial pain. AND, someone…. some real live person… is behind allowing these types of financial frauds, or at the minimum shoddy standards, that cause folks to lose hard earned money… and… someone needs to start taking the weight for these decisions, and, that means jail time.

Enough is enough, already… Hell, if you or I did anything even remotely close to pulling off a flim flam game, like what some of these banks do, we’d be doing hard time.

For example, per today’s (1/8) NYDN: “But in a different courthouse — just a couple of hours after the (JP Morgan) deal was announced — a small-business owner was sentenced to four years in prison for duping a wealthy investor. The disparity reads like a tale of two cities.”

Oh, by the way, this is from back in October 2013: JPMorgan Chase & Co.’s record $13 billion deal to end U.S. probes of its mortgage-bond sales would free the nation’s largest bank from mounting civil disputes with the government while leaving a criminal inquiry unresolved. The settlement would amount to more than half of JPMorgan’s record $21.3 billion profit last year, or 1.5 times what the firm’s corporate and investment bank set aside to pay employees during this year’s first nine months.

Again, enough is enough… Nuff said…

7) Candice Swanepoel is one of Victoria’s Secret hottest models and the stunner was given the honor of  flaunting the $10 million Fantasy Bra at this year’s Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. And, now, she graces the pages of Vogue Brazil – completely naked.Swanepoel 2

candice-swanepoel-vogue-brazil 4candice-swanepoel-vogue-brasil-jan-14-010candice-trancoso-zeenunes-vcandice-swanepoel-vogue-brazil 3

8) Remember that commercial back in the early 1970’s  that essentially said, “Don’t  fuck with Mother Nature?” … Okay, it was slightly nicer than that… the ad showed a woman who was dressed as Mother Nature being offered a taste of margarine. She says, “Ah yes my rich creamy butter… the person who offered Mom Natural the taste says, “No, it’s Chiffon Margarine… Moms says, “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature”; snaps her fingers and is gone with a roar of thunder.

Well, it was right… Don’t!Wales storm

Storm Hercules which brought major snow storms to the US has now crossed the Atlantic and has affected tidal swells in Wales. No, sheet!

More than 250 people in Aberystwyth, Wales were evacuated as the coastline was hit by high tides and strong winds. At the time of this picture being taken, the British weather reports were warning that more was on the way… Wowzers!



9) So, how cold has it been, especially around the Northeast where I hail from?


And, thanks to Bramhall’s World from the editorial pages of the New York Daily News…

10) A headline from todays NYDN (1/8): NYPD/FDNY members cashed in on bogus 9/11 woes as part of massive $400M Social Security fraud: Prosecutor”

The gist of the story is that dozens of former cops and firefighters claimed 9/11 trauma and that due to this trauma they were incapable of working. They, in turn, then scammed the governemnt for Social Security disability benefits and esssentially stole our money… right, ours… as they leeched off the we the taxpayers by taking early retirement.

Police Commissioner Bill Bratton said, “I can only express my disgust at the actions of the individuals involved in this scheme,” He added that he was particularly “chagrined” that 72 former members of the NYPD “disgraced themselves, embarrassed their families… The idea that many of them chose the events of 9/11 to claim as the bases for this disability brings further dishonor to themselves.

I got-scam- not much else to add… But chagrined? How about totally fucking pissed off! I hope these dirtbags do some serious hard time…

There were real heroes from that fateful day who now have real problems, both physical and psychological, who deserve to be taken care of and these scum make it that much harder for those in serious hurt to get what they need to survive and get through another day of their lives…



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  1. Great as always, and I always love the inclusion of pictures of beautiful women.

    I actually caught the Natasha Leggero comment 2nd hand, but after reading what you wrote, I don’t get what the big deal is. I was confused as to why some people were going after her on Twitter.

  2. Because, people tend to leap before they look… or think…

    Beautiful women are always nice… Stole the idea from the NYDN Sunday sports pages, though…

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