WTF… 10/30/2013

1) Dina Lohan, Lindsay’s mother, 51-year-old was charged with drunk driving after being pulled over for allegedly

Dian Lohan and lawyer
Dian Lohan and lawyer

going 77 mph in a 55 mph zone on the Northern State Parkway (Long Island, NY) on September 12 and later blowing a 0.20 on a Breathalyzer. On October 23, Dina Lohan, Lindsay’s mother, told a Nassau County Court because of stress caused by the paparazzi she hit the bottle.   Ya know what… please stop your bull, Ms. Lohan. The one, and only, reason, you drank and got drunk is because you made a decision to do exactly that. You thought you were in control and, guess what, you weren’t but the booze was. You need to stop making excuses and blaming everyone else for your irresponsible decisions.

And, we need to stop making her newsworthy and simply ignore dumbasses like her.

 

2) It is said a picture is worth a thousand words… well, if that be the case then in response to the recent spate of incidents and revelations in the Big Apple of people being arrested/detained for SWB (Shopping While Black ) I offer the following editorial cartoon by Bramhall:

Bramhall's World: Barney's style Halloween
Bramhall’s World: Barney’s style Halloween

3) Walter Serpit, who needs a cane to help him move about, was watching television in his Columbus (Georgia) home with five other adults and two children when smoke from a building fire began to fill the room. Serpit acted quickly and made sure everyone got out of the house in a New York minute… really damn fast.beer saver

But, then he realized something was amiss. He forgot his Bud Lite. So, the self-described alcoholic did what any “good” alcoholic would do… Yep, he ran back into the burning house and rescued his beer. And, according to news reports he managed to save several of his “buddies” without being burnt to a crisp.

Serpit told local news stations, “I told them to get the kids out and everything and me myself, being an alcoholic, I was trying to get my beer out…  I went back into the house like a dummy and the door shut on me because this back draft was about to kill me.”
Never underestimate the power of the obsessive-compulsive personality…  Serpit is proof positive of that.  Now, he just needs to direct his can-do attitude to something more constructive than running into burning buildings to save six packs.

4) On Friday (10/25), The NY Daily News reported that President Obama visited P-Tech High School (Pathways in Technology Early College High School) in Crown Heights (NYC) and among other things said, “When I was living here, Brooklyn was cool, but not this cool.” The really notable thing about P-Tech is that students can graduate with a high school diploma as well as a free associate’s degree (in either introduction to computer programming or electromagnetic engineering) in as few as four years or as many as six years.

Leslieanne John
Leslieanne John

The atmosphere at P-tech is a tad loose… no uniforms, kids can sometimes be ultra relaxed with bottled drinks perched on their desks, feet up on chairs or just munching on snacks. Seems teachers tend to be more interested in teaching and kids learning than appearances.

One student, Leslieanne John, 16, sang the national anthem. And, when she was done, the so-called leader of the free world took to the dais to speak and he gave Leslieanne a shout out as he said, “Leslieanne is in the 11th grade. She’s already taking eight college classes, which is about as many as I took in college.” Later it seems the teen upheld her school’s laid back environment because when she heard Obama say he had played basketball in college, she told him, “I could beat you in heels.”

Obama responded, “I’ll have to take you up on that one.”

And, ya know, maybe he just might be able to take her on the court … if, she did wear them there heels, that is. But, it would help if he layed off them double helpings of Juniors cheesecake that he got later that day before boarding the presidential copter to leave… one plain…  one with strawberries.

5) On Saturday (10/26), news sources reported that a criminal was roaming about Iowa Lakes Community College and vandalizing bicycles. Seems this associate math professor was coming from classes and finding his bike literally tore up. In fact, it looked like someone was actually chewing pieces out of the tires, seat, headlight and taillight of the bike.

So he filed a police report, and after an investigation, the police were perplexed on how the bike was being vandalized and no one had even seen anyone who could remotely even be considered a suspect.

Then another professor had the chance to be in the area with a camera and opportunely snapped off a picture that shows a squirrel attacking the bike.

The bike owner now parks his bicycle indoors.

Later Iowa Lakes officials pondered how they could trap and then relocate the tree rat but someone asked how they could be sure if they trapped the right squirrel? One opinion was that a trap could be used with the “…rest of the bicycle seat as bait, because that’s what the squirrel seems to like.”

Personally, I wonder what the Caddy Shack gopher is doing these days? He was one tough bitching rodent if’n I remember correctly.

Armed and ready....
Armed and ready….

6) On Sundays, the NY Daily News prints “Justice Stories” that made headlines in the past.  Most of them are kind of interesting in a weirdly morbid sort of way and I usually check them out. This past Sunday the story was about the 1963 World Series and how most folks figured the Yankees were a cinch to beat up on the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Justice Story
Justice Story

The New York team had Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris who were a tad beat up themselves but they were supported by sluggers such as Elston Howard, Joe Pepitone and Tom Tresh. And, they had 20-game winners, Whitey Ford and Jim Bouton.  Plus, recent history was on the Yankees side as they had won 10 titles in the previous 15 years, including 1961 and 1962.

So, the story went that a guy called a bookie and said, “Mr. Shore would like to order seven pinstriped suits, size large.” That is, $7,000 on the Yanks to win.

Long story short: It was a lousy bet. Los Angeles trounced New York. And when the bookie went to collect his money it seems he sort of disappeared. About a month later the bookie’s body surfaced in the roiling waters at Spuyten Duyvil Creek in upper Manhattan. He had been shot four times.

The headline of this little peek into the underbelly of NYC life was titled, “DEADLY BET: How a fool who thought Coufax & the ’63 Dodgers would lose to the aged Yanks wound up with a murder rap.”

Huh???? Who the hell is Coufax??? I know Koufax… but, Coufax? Never hoird of him.  No wonder the Yanks got beat; the Dodgers must of brought in a ringer.

7) Edna Krabappel is gone…  Marcia Wallace, who survived a 1985 breast cancer diagnosis, passed away from complications of the disease. Including her voice-over work, for which she won an Emmy (1992), Wallace was a four-decade veteran of stage and screen. Outside of being the voice for Edna, she is probably best known as the receptionist for Bob Newhart on his self-titled show of the early 1970’s.

Yeardley Smith, the voice of Lisa Simpson, tweeted, “Cheers to the hilarious, kind, fab Marcia Wallace … Heaven is a much funnier place b/c of you.”Rest in peace Marcia… and, in memory of Marcia’s work, I present:

Marcia Wallace and Bob Newhart
Marcia Wallace and Bob Newhart

Edna and Principal Skinner

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

edna krabappel

Marcia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Marcia, ya done good; ya made us laugh… thanks.

 

 

8) Over the weekend, I noticed an article about how the Barclays Center in Brooklyn was upgrading their food services to feature 55 Brooklyn-based vendors.
Veteran vendors like L&B Spumoni Gardens’ popular Bensonhurst pizza, Brooklyn Bangers’ beef brisket hot dogs and Blue Marble Ice Cream are part of the contingent of new, and local, purveyors of food that will tantalize peeps’ tastebuds who go see the Nets on opening day (11/1).

On the menu will be delicacies such as Fatty ‘Cue’s pulled BBQ chicken sandwich topped with a zesty Asian slaw on a brioche bun, just a quaint $12.75. Or, Paisanos Meat Market’s six-inch Paisano Hero a combo of sliced prosciutto, sharp provolone, dried cured salami, roasted red peppers all on ciabatta bread, only $14.00. Or, maybe Junior’s duo of corned beef and pastrami sandwiches made with mini onion rolls might better hit the old hunger spot after rooting for the home team and slugging down a few cold ones… a mere $15.50.

Kinda, sorta too rich for your wallet after paying for tickets, taking the train into Brooklyn and then buying those few cold ones? … Well, there is the eye candy to take your mind off that growling sound emanating from the old bread basket….

The Brooklynettes!brooklynettes1
brooklynettes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9) Anyone been checking Jennifer Lawrence out lately? Like the recent news about the spread she did for Dior mag? She will be featured in the fall-winter issue of Dior Magazine and she will be making tailored suits and menswear-inspired pieces look sexy if I do say myself. In fact forget sexy.. for someone who is being billed as wearing minimal makeup and having tousled hair she is in a word…smoking…

jennifer-lawrence-dior-magazineJLawJlaw dior ad 1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ah, the stuff that dreams are made of….

 

 

 

 

 

 

10) And while I was surfing the net looking for stuff to read yesterday, I came across this Associated Press story from October 10th: Seems a man found a turtle who was embarking on a trek across Interstate 75 in South Florida and  I reckon since he realized that turtles tend to be slow assed mothers that he should simply be a good guy and pick the critter up, carry it across the highway and gently place him in the grass on the other side of the well-traveled road. I mean no need to have turtle guts split all over the asphalt, eh? However, next time he might wanna think about where he be putting that turtle because as he placed that reptile in the grass, another reptile… a venomous Eastern Diamondback rattlesnake… bit his hand.

The Miami Herald reports that he was driven immediately by a friend  to a nearby hospital, where he was treated with anti-venom, and, as of October 15th , the venom was only affecting the victim’s left arm.  I guess this poor young nature boy never heard the phrase, “No good deed goes unpunished”, huh?

screwed

 

 

 

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