1) On Sunday (10/6), an article appeared throughout various media sources that said a boy just 9-years old was able to sneak past sneak past Minneapolis airport security, board a plane and make it to Las Vegas virtually undetected. That is, until just before Delta flight 1651 was about to land in Vegas and only then did his presence on the plane arouse flight attendants’ suspicions who alerted authorities, who took him into custody upon landing. Las Vegas Police Department said officers greeted the boy and placed him in custody with child protective services.
Now remember, an unaccompanied child “went through the entire security screening process” Thursday without a hitch despite a much intensified multiple layered security process because of heightened fear of possible terrorist activity to our country’s airports due to global threats and it was only until Delta flight 1651 was making its landing that flight attendants grew suspicious of the child and alerted authorities on the ground.
The TSA, who declined media questions, said they are currently investigating the incident.
What is known is: 1) According to surveillance video, at 10:37 a.m., the boy arrived to the airport solo on a southbound light-rail car; 2) He was screened at Terminal 1 and granted access to its nine airlines despite appearing to have never produced a required ticket. It seems Identification for child passengers is not a requirement according to a Minneapolis airport official; 3) at one point he appears to be tagging along with another family traveling; 4) security CCTV footage shows he appears to have been at the airport the day before as well. I
n addition, security footage also shows the boy dining at an airport restaurant in a pre-screening area while carrying an item of luggage that officials say was not his. An airport spokesperson says they believe he stole a piece of luggage off a baggage carousel, carried it to the restaurant where he ordered lunch, and asked his server to watch his suitcase while he used the restroom. The server said okay and the boy left, never returned and consequently did not pay his bill.
Also, Patrick Hogan, a spokesman for the airport, said that surveillance video shows the boy briefly talking to a Delta gate agent before the flight and shows that the agent became “distracted,” and that’s when the boy was able to sneak through and board the plane.”
Now despite of all this security footage, the Delta gate incident and the restaurant incident not one person ever drew a conclusion that something might actually had been amuck? A young boy scrounging a freebie meal by not paying for it through a ruse and then gaining entry into areas unattended without any visible ID at all and then disappearing after a gate agent, who was taking to the boy, got distracted is not something to at least check into? Just to see if there is anything that would warrant security’s attention? I mean what happened to see something say something? But despite all of this security and surveillance efforts a child was able to mask his passage and either was not seen on the video surveillance or was simply ignored as not being worth mentioning to anyone’s superiors so they could pass judgment on the security issues.
Now, as far as I know when a child is traveling unattended they are suppose to some sort of tags .. oops unless they are in the Minneapolis airport that is. I forgot that part. But, American Airlines says to bring your “…Unaccompanied Minor (UM) child to the American Airlines check-in counter (and) American Airlines will provide your child with a boarding pass and will give you a gate pass that allows you to go past security. AA also says for the guardian to escort the UM through the security checkpoints to the departure gate and that they are to remain at the gate until your child’s flight has departed.”
And, Southwest Airlines says in their rules that “…a parent or guardian must escort an Unaccompanied Minor to the departure gate and must remain in the gate area until the flight is in the air and that prior to departure, a designated Southwest Representative will announce preboarding for Unaccompanied Minors… (and) it is the responsibility of the drop-off parent/guardian to present the Unaccompanied Minor as directed in order to board the flight.”
And, finally Delta Airlines, the airline the child actually used, says “…a parent or designated accompanying adult must take the unaccompanied minor to the departure gate and remain until the flight has left the ground.”
So, at what point was this minor walking around unattended within their territory did Delta not take their own rules into consideration and have security proceed to stop the young man and ask to see any identification or at the minimum a boarding pass? Or for that matter ask where his accompanying adult happened to be?
None, I reckon, since he damn well was able to take a seat on Delta flight 1651.
Now, personally this really does not make me feel real damn safe if I am gonna be travelling through Minneapolis’ airport. I mean, believe me, when I say terrorists throughout the world are not above sending little boys with explosives or some other way of causing mayhem on an airplane flight or any other location for that matter. It, unfortunately, happens all too often throughout his world.
I hate to sound like an alarmist, or even paranoid, but I assume these rules were put into place for a reason. And, if that be so then why weren’t they followed by the airport and more importantly by the airline?
Today (10/9) CNN is reporting that the boy is no stranger to child protection investigators, who say he has a history of sneaking into a water park and was recently arrested after allegedly stealing a car. And that it turns out that his mother works at the airport where he began his journey, which partially explains why he might have been at the airport, but, not how he bypassed security and got on a plane with no boarding pass or ticket. In addition, the boy’s father told CNN affiliate WCCO that his son has had issues in the past and that “I don’t have an angel, OK. I have a 9-year-old… To me, he’s got a behavioral problem.”
Now I have no idea what was done, has been done or is being done to address this boy’s problems and who-all dropped or whatever ball got dropped but this boy, for everyone’s good, needs to be treated and quite possibly institutionalized. If he is this much trouble now then unless his “issues’ are addressed real soon there is no damn good gonna come out of his wandering about doing as he pleases. Especially, since it seems authority peeps in Minneapolis tend to take a very lax attitude regarding this abnormal behavior.
Let’s just hope no damn terrorists sneak across the border coming through Minneapolis, eh?
2) NYDN headline: “Arrr!: Trader Joe’s loses suit against Pirate Joe’s over reselling its products in Canada”
Some jamoke in Canada is coming into the States buying Trader Joe’s “treasured” products in the US and reselling them across the border at his store alluringly titled Pirate Joe’s. Why would he do that? Because he sells the goods on a favorable markup and obviously is successfully getting people, Canadian people, to pay those marked up prices.
Well, Traders Joe’s didn’t like that on various levels and therefore decided they should sue mainly on the premise that Pirate Joe’s, aka Michael Hallatt, was treading upon their trademarked name and snookering folks to come and purchase product thinking they were actually going to Traders Joe’s. Trader Joe’s also argued that Hallatt did damage to their business because about 40% of all sales by credit cards at the store where Hallatt rounds up his spoils are not by U.S. residents and that since Canadians had access to their products in Vancouver, they won’t come to the Trader Joe’s across the border in America. Trader Joe’s said that amounted to false advertising and trademark infringement as well as unfair competition practices and as restraint of trade on the part of Pirate Joe’s.
The Canadian judge said “Balderdash.”
Okay, what she really said was Hallatt’s operation was neither trademark infringement nor false advertising and that “Even if Canadian consumers are confused and believe they are shopping at Trader Joe’s, (there still would be) no economic harm to Trader Joe’s because the products were purchased at Trader Joe’s at retail price.”
Personally, I kinda, sorta saw what the judge was saying but she had not convinced me that what Pirate Joe’s was doing was not, in fact, what Traders Joe’s claimed.
But, and here is where I got convinced that Trader Joe’s suit was a lot of sound and fury that essentially signified not a thing, the judge also said Trader Joe’s and Pirate Joe’s were not even competitors, as the grocery chain had claimed in their suit.
Hmmm… and why not?
Trader Joe’s has 390 stores in the U.S. but none in Canada.
And, riddle me this: If some store purchased goods from another sorta famous name store in another country and then brought those goods into their country and sold the goods at marked-up prices why would anyone patronize that store? By what logic does that make sense? To me, not a bit. But, hey, I hear Canadian money is worth more than American so I guess if ya got it flaunt, or, whatever. As for me, I will continue to shop at the local ShopRite and probably get as good as anything I can get at Trader Whatever’s, have more of it and wind up being better fed.
The online piece says that the magazine cover of her with an intense stare seems to be playful with a hint of I-dare-you and keeps with the Barbadian singer’s wild-child image. And it adds that she doesn’t do anything to hurt that perception by posing in these “all-the-way-up-to-there outfits” for the inside pictorial spread. The article continues that when Glamour folks ask the 25-year old how she sees herself as an artist and if she is misunderstood. Rihanna says: “I know I am. That’s why it’s important for me to know who I am.” Then she adds for people with minds that hate (Thank you, Mr. Lennon) that “They’re gonna keep knocking away until all this comes crashing down. But I’m not gonna ever crash.”
Well that’s all well and good and I really do hope Rihanna is right but didn’t they once say the Titanic was unsinkable and that the Hindenburg was a safe way to travel? And, I would remind her of Murphy’s Law: If anything can go wrong then it will go wrong. The simple fact is that when you least expect it; life tends to throw ya a curve and if there is any possible way for something to go wrong, it will happen and it will happen at the absolute worst time.
Just remember I bet that Lindsay Lohan, Mike Tyson, MC Hammer and a whole slew of other folks thought they “knew who they were” and never thought they would “crash” either. Yet, they all did in their own ways.
4) Last week, I pointed out just because I labeled something a WTF didn’t mean it had to be because it was a bad thing. Remember? Ok, this ain’t a quiz if ya don’t remember … or worse yet… didn’t read the column… WTF ain’t always bad. Well along them there lines: Check out Angelina Jolie’s main squeeze, aka Brad Pitt.
Pitt’s charity “Make It Right” is teaming with a group of architects and will provide people in the Rockaways neighborhood of Queens, NY an alternative to their homes which either got ravaged or completely destroyed during Hurricane Sandy. The charity will build a $50,000 storm-resistant home in the neighborhood to showcase designs that were created in a competition by the American Institute of Architects and Architecture for Humanity.
The winning design features a split roof that creates a row of windows to keep the house bright and warm year-round and needs almost no heating or cooling, in fact, it has no furnace at all and the air conditioning unit is minimal. One of the designers said point blank: “Even if the power goes out, the house remains livable.” And considering people on the eastern right coast were living in storm ravaged homes without any energy for months during some winter storms that followed the October storm that would have been a very desirable feature to have.
In the NYC area St. Bernard Project (which built hundreds of homes in the south after disasters, like Katrina, and more homes in New York following hurricane Sandy) is getting together with “Friends of the Rockaways” to select a family to get the house being built and will raise money for additional homes.
Plus, the people involved will make any of the plans/designs for the various versions of the energy efficient and self reliant homes available to the public. Zack Rosenburg, executive director of the St. Bernard Project said, “Even if you can’t afford your own architect, you should be able to live in a sustainable, resilient home.” First and foremost: WTF!!!! This is a phenomenal idea! I want a house that does not need a damn furnace. STAT!
But, it is important to remember that all too often people who become stars, in whatever profession they chose, forget they once came from more than likely not so great beginnings and just worry about keeping on, keeping on with what they have become and feeding into their egos … so, my hats off to peeps like Pitt who know enough and have the respect to give back to the community and provide help where help is needed and appreciated.
5) Seems one of our Supremes, specifically Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is saying that in the next Prez election another Democrat will win. Bader Ginsburg says, “I think it’s going to be another Democratic President… Democrats do fine in presidential elections; their problem is they can’t get out the vote in the midterm elections.” The reason MS Bader Ginsburg was inspired to say this nugget of wisdom was in response to folks who suggest she should think about retiring so that Obama can use his presidential prerogative to name a liberal successor.
My response is “Oh really? Seems to me, that out of the last five presidents, three were Republicans. A 40% success rate ain’t the best success rate in my book if’n you be asking me.”
Maybe, Ginsburg, who is 80, and has battled cancer twice, (not that necessarily has anything to do with her cognitive functioning), should give that retirement idea a rethink.
6) Back on October 4 this little piece came from the Huffington Post: “Lee Terry Needs His Salary During Government Shutdown To Pay For His ‘Nice House’”
Seems the Huff Post followed up on when the Omaha World-Herald Bureau asked whether he would keep his paycheck and Terry (R-Neb.) said “Dang straight.”
Before going on, and, just to be clear, the pay of Congress folks, as well as that of the president, come from a pool of mandatory collected funds from the US Treasury and are not affected by a shutdown. (Congressional Research Service report 7-5700 (www.crs.gov) states that “Article I, Section 6, of the U.S. Constitution authorizes compensation for Members of Congress “ascertained by law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States.”) Most members of Congress earn $174,000 a year.
Now then, while more than 100 Congress have said they will donate their salaries to charity during the government shutdown, the vast majority of these politicos have either said nothing or that they plan to keep their paychecks. This is with about 800,000 public servants who have been furloughed during the present government shutdown, and they’ll only receive back pay for the lost time if Congress authorizes it, which, small wonder, is now a done deal. Regardless, the paychecks will be paid retroactively only when these people can get back to the real running of the government. And, who knows how long it will take for the government to reopen. Government workers who spoke with the Huffington Post say any delay in their pay will be hard, since the bills ain’t gonna be delayed like their pay is gonna be delayed.
But, Terry said of the 100 or so members giving up their salary: “Whatever gets them good press… That’s all that it’s going to be. God bless them. But you know what? I’ve got a nice house and a kid in college, and I’ll tell you we cannot handle it. Giving our paycheck away when you still worked and earned it? That’s just not going to fly.”
Now hold on thar baba looey!!!! You mean …. You mean that you think that what you are presently doing in the whole present boondoggle of government buffoonery is work??? And, that it entitles you to be paid while other real hard working folk who have bills piling up and could face possible financial ruin get no pay? You really freaking believe that? Then you is a damn fool and no better off than some French princess lady who once supposedly said “Let them eat brioche*.”
And then this from Rep. Kevin Cramer (R-N.D.) who said he, also would keep his pay because he’s “working to earn” it and even came in on the weekend. Cough, cough, cough….
Right, poor baby. Furloughed federal workers would also like to be able to work hard so they could really earn their paychecks, but right now, Congress ain’t letting them do that, are they?
Noted journalist Nicholas Kristof said before the shutdown happened, “If a high school student council refused to approve a budget so that student activities had to be canceled — even as student leaders continued to pay themselves stipends — a school board would probably cancel the entire experiment in student democracy. But I can’t imagine high school students acting so immature.”
Look it, I really could care less about who anyone thinks is right or wrong, let’s just get back to doing what Congress is supposed to do. Which is largely be figureheads who collectively mull around certain potential laws and then dole out funding to their favorite cause of the week and let the so-called grunts who do the heavy lifting and the real work of running the government back to doing what they do best… which is run the damn government, albeit somewhat crazily, but, none the less, run it.
In the interests of fair play: Today (10/9) it was reported by the Omaha World-Herald, albeit only after his sorrowful comments on needing his paycheck were published and he began hearing some distressful feedback, Terry apologized on Sunday (10/6) by saying, “The other day I made a statement that I would put my needs above others in crisis. I’m ashamed of my comments. It was not leadership. It is not how I was raised. It is not the nature of my character. It is not what I want to teach my sons. I apologize for my hurtful remarks when so many others are feeling the pain of Washington’s dysfunction.” Translation: I am an insensitive boob and the only person that really matters is me. And, I should have never said what I did but since I did I’m sorry I said it… aloud.”
*Note: There is no proof Marie-Antoinette ever said the “let them eat cake” or more accurately the referenced “brioche” and that she was actually a supposedly generous patroness of charity and moved by the plight of the poor when it was brought to her attention, thus making the statement out-of-character for her.
The Canadian actress promoted the new US healthcare program, warning fans that without insurance, “you’re naked.” Dobrev recently posed topless with a strategically placed cardboard sign to encourage fans to “get covered” with Obamacare. She added a caption with the posting of her picture that without the health care coverage “you’re naked”.
I got nothing to offer here because this is nothing more than just a continuation of my sneaking in a gratuitous picture of a half naked female with something to get off her chest… sorry, that was a pitiful pun!
8) While perusing the newspapers and online news reports I came across a spate of animal cruelty crap.
Animal cruelty really pisses me off simply because some asses take these poor domesticated creatures that depend upon us for their well being and treated them so damn despicably.
First story was about an Ohio man who left a poor starving dog tied to tree for four years and then got fined $25 but was facing further penalties beyond the initial fine. The so-called pet owner left his starving; flea-infested animal tied to a tree for four years and then had the balls to defend his actions by saying, “The dog is not a human.”
What led up to this sequence of events was that law enforcement officials were told of the poor dog’s existence, and, when they arrived at the location they were directed, they found a mangy, severely emaciated German shepherd tethered to a tree in the backyard. Covered in sores and tick bites, the poor 60-pound pooch was shedding fur from malnourishment, and most of his teeth had disappeared The idiot owner first told police and County Dog Wardens that the dog’s skeletal appearance was from summertime weight loss. Then he said the despicable “dog is not a human” comment.
The dog was taken in by the nonprofit PAWS Adoption Center and staffers there said it was “the worst case of animal abuse” they had ever seen.
The supposed dog owner and jerk (to put it very mildly) was fined the aforementioned $25 and but still faces further charges of cruelty to a companion animal, having an unlicensed dog, and improper chaining or tethering. The maximum penalty for the cruelty charge, a misdemeanor, is said to be six months in jail and a $1,000 fine. He will reappear in court on Oct. 14.
As far as I am concerned he needs to be sentenced to four years of being chained in a jail cell with nothing more than bowls for his water and foods and a blanket on the floor for his bedding. And, that would still be better treatment than he gave the poor dog who needed him to be a responsible and humane owner.
Volunteers at PAWS said that the dog Joseph is “doing better these days” and is expected to make a full recovery before being put up for adoption.
Then there was this online piece that I found: “Craigslist Ad Will Break Your Heart And Put It Back Together Again”.
The report began by saying that people who know Christianna Willis, 23, know that she loves animals and could never turn away a stray. In fact, Willis works as a receptionist at PetMed Veterinary Hospital in Antioch, Tennessee. So when it happened that a stray pit bull wandered up to her door while she was at work, her roommate immediately called Willis asking what to do. Willis told her roommate to put the animal in a crate and that she would be home as soon she could get there.
When Willis got home she immediately realized that the animal had been grossly maltreated, severely abused and had been involved in dog fighting. Willis didn’t have much hope for the dog. If the dog lived through the night, Willis figured she would take the dog to PetMed and have her humanely euthanized. But by the time she brought the dog to the vet hospital she already had grown attached to the dog she asked her boss if he could forestall the putting down of the dog for a day because and wasn’t sure if she handle the creature’s immediate death.
That night, Willis sat down to her computer, and checked online to see if anyone had posted a missing dog post but wound up writing a post of her own on Craigslist. She titled her post “Your pit bull has found me and I’m not giving her back.”
She also wrote to owner, who probably will never see her post, about the use of the dog for dog fighting, and, other fighting dogs training purposes, “With each bite of her they took and each yelp she cried, they’d look at you for reassurance. Because all they wanted to do was please you… Loyalty is in their blood. Violence is not.”
Willis went on that the dog, now named Mama Jade, had somehow not lost her wonderful dog spirit and that while Mama feared dogs she still loved humans. She posted that “She’ll give you slobbery kisses and nuzzle your face with love.”
Then comes the part that moistens my eyes, “Tomorrow, Mama will finally feel peace. And when she closes her eyes and takes her last breath, I’ll be there. I’ll hold her big ol head and I’ll tell her how much I love her. And when her soul has left her battered body and I’ve dried the tears enough to see, I will document every bruise, every bite, every cut, scrape and gash. I’ll photograph her teeth, or rather, where her teeth used to be. I’ll turn in all the evidence and post it where EVERYONE will see it. I’ll use it to educate kids in heavily crime ridden areas, on the horrors of dog fighting. If you could do that to a dog, you should not be allowed in everyday society. And teaching our children right from wrong is the only way to put a stop to this.”
But then something truly amazing and heartwarming, almost like as if it were her version of “A Wonderful Life”, took place mere hours after she posted that letter to the cruel master of Mama. Emails by the hundreds, and then the thousands, came back to Willis offering to help Mama Jade.
The demand became so great that a Facebook page for Mama Jade was set up. In only eight hours, that page had more than 15,000 likes. In only three days, the Facebook page has already received more than 100,000 likes and counting.
Willis eventually found the time to write back with the simple, yet poignant, post: “Thanks the overwhelming response I received from posting Mama Jade’s story on Craigslist, this girl is getting yet another chance to live a beautiful life… From the bottom of my heart, I can’t thank everyone enough for the kind words & incredible support.”
Incredibly as she wrote that Mama Jade was experiencing love from all over the world her viral Craigslist post was flagged and taken down.
As for Mama Jade, she is currently in the care of PetMed and has been undergoing treatment for a variety of health issues. Willis says that many people have come forward to offer their help and the vet hospital will be going through the various options and picking the ones that are best for her.
Additionally, Willis said she plans to set up a fund for donations towards Mama Jade’s care. She plans on posting the link through her Facebook page. Any additional donations that come in once Mama Jade’s health care costs are covered will go to PetMed’s need fund, which is a fund that helps families that cannot afford their pet’s care.
As I continued to read the story the words that came next tore at my heart and my soul. Jean Harrison, founder and coordinator of Big Fluffy Dog Rescue, who helped take care of Mama Jade for a few days, says that Mama Jade’s situation is not unique and that Big Fluffy Dog Rescue has seen three very severe cases in the past two weeks that make Mama Jade’s condition seem tame. (My brain exploded with one big WTF, ya’ll gots to be kidding me… but then I thought… no, she isn’t, because some fucking pathological assholes can sometimes be so cruelly stupid and ignorantly callous.) Harrison says that the lack of government oversight, lack of anti-animal cruelty laws and poor regulation contributes to the prevalence of these animal abuse cases in the South and other rural areas.
Okay, now for my words on this bullshit. Animals that we have as pets, specifically dogs, are not born vicious. They learn that behavior from their experiences and treatment as pups by primarily their fucked up owners. These dogs also are not able to care for themselves due to the simple fact we have bred that innate animal ability from their beings. If you own a pet then you become that pet’s guardian the same as if you had a child in your home. That puppy, and eventually dog, wants nothing from you but your love and the chance to be a part of your life. They will, if you allow them, come into your life and provide you with an unconditional love that you will forever be hard put to find so freely given anywhere else in this universe. And if you let them, and really pay attention to them, you will find that each dog has his very own personality and is capable of truly astounding you by the stuff that they will do during the course of the day. The trick to having a wonderful dog is simply treating them like the wonderful beings that they truly are.
Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “Never, never be afraid to do what’s right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society’s punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way.”
Please, please, please… do not ever let an animal suffer and if you do see something then do say something… and check that something was really done.
9) Cell phones may be getting slimmer, but you would think no one could ever confuse one with a tweny dollar bill. Right?
Deaaron M. Hearn, 22, was found passed out on a bench in Iowa City early one recent weekend morning. According to police, he smelled strongly of alcohol, and had watery, bloodshot eyes, slurred speech and poor balance. After being roused from his “sleep” Hearn responded to the police by offering the cops some cash.
The cops, for whatever reason, decide to cut he man some slack and told him to call someone to come get him. He then took a twenty dollar bill, placed it to his ear and tried talking into it. Officers then gave Hearn a breathalyzer test and took him into custody after it registered .178.
Okay, dude I think it is time to put the bottle down and forget where you left it when you start getting this damn stupid and blindly dumbass.
9) BUT, Hearn isn’t the only alleged drunk from Iowa City who has stumbled their way into the weird news section recently. Last month, Samantha Lynn Goudie aka Twitter alias @Vodka_Samm (that twitter name alone tells us volumes about good old Sam) earned a dubious form of misdirected vainglorious fame after getting arrested for trying to run onto the field of play at a University of Iowa football game.
When police “suspected” that she was drunk they gave her a preliminary breathalyzer test that registered a .341 BAC. The legal Iowa threshold for intoxication is .08.
And whose word do we have to verify that BAC number? Remember her handle?
Urban dictionary says that “yolo” is “carpe diem” for stupid people. ’Nuff said.
And anyone who is saying “.341? Really? How the hell was she even standing up?” The University of Iowa Police report after Goudie was arrested reads: “Public Intox at Kinnick Stadium at 1321 hours. Goudie was stopped for trying to enter the field. Goudie was unsteady on her feet. Goudie blew .341 PBT.”
Oh… and no one is sure if that guy Hearn and Goudie know each other, or, if Goudie was the person he was trying to phone with his $20 bill.
But the sad part of the story about these poor folk is not that they got so all-fired drunk and stupid (although that is a cause for concern, because while this time both caused no real harm, a serious disaster is just around the corner) but they, and many of us, all laugh and celebrate their behaviors. We enable the shit out of them is what we do.
And, the saddest part of all of Goudie’s being so damn drunk and thrown in a drunk tank lockup is that she now wears it as a badge of pride and accomplishment, as a badge of celebrity. Yes, that’s really her Profile picture above. And, if you try to follow her tweets, it will take you like forever to scroll through her timeline because she keeps re-tweeting other people kissing her ass online, and it just continually bottlenecks her timeline.
It is so true when they say, “the mind is a terrible thing to waste.”
10) One more doggie story… but a lot kinder and funnier this time around.
Last December, Wayne Klinkel and his wife went on a road trip from their Helena (Montana) home to visit their daughter in Denver and took along their golden retriever, Sundance. Seems along the way they got a hankering for some food and stopped at a restaurant for a bite. They left Sundance in the car. But with Sundance they had stashed, in a hidey spot, five $100 bills and a single $1 bill. Sundance, who Klinkel says has taste for paper, found the bills and munched down on the hundreds but left the single.
After whatever initial shock wore off, Klinkel did know from the experience of picking up after Sundance’s business that the paper Sundance ate passed through his digestive system intact.
Yep, you guessed it, for a while after Sundance’s feast, Klinkel made it his business to pick up after Sundance whenever he did his business and inspect it for scraps of paper… specifically US Treasury currency paper. And he got quite a bit of some of the chewed bills from Sundance’s leftovers. But not all. Some pieces were still missing.
In the spring, he heard from his daughter and she said as the spring melt was in full swing in her back yard she was finding many of the missing pieces of the c-notes.
As Klinkel now had most of the masticated currency in his possession, he cleaned, sorted and carefully jig sawed puzzled the pieces together and then placed each in its own plastic bag. He took them to his local bank hoping to exchange them for some unchewed bills. When the tellers asked what had happened, and, after he told them of the Sundance episode …and after the “Ewwwww,” factor passed… he was politely told, “Thanks, but sorry, no thanks.”
So off he went to a second bank who, after all was said and done, told him to mail the bills to the Mutilated Currency Division of the U.S. Bureau of Engraving and Printing of the Department of the Treasury in Washington, D.C. And on April 15 (interesting choice of dates, eh?) that is what he did.
Ten days passed and the Klinkels got a receipt back acknowledging the Department of the Treasury got their bills. Then nothing.
Nothing until last Monday. On that day they checked their mail and found a Treasury envelope and when they opened it had a check for… yep, $500.
But, Klinkel and his wife, ever the careful ones now, were worried about the prospect of a government shutdown and Klinkel said, “With the feds going under, we didn’t want to waste any time. It came in the mail at 5 p.m. Monday, and by 9 a.m. the next morning it was in the bank.” Klinkel also said, “It was great to get the check after all the crap I went through… I gave Sundance a pat, showed it to him and told him not to eat it.”
He added that there wasn’t anything but the check in the Treasury envelope, no letter of explanation, nothing. However in the memo section of the check was the following: “MUT.CURR REFUND.”
Who says the government can’t take a joke, huh?
But even more important who’da thunk the government could ever do something so simple and logical as giving the man his money back? A tad slowly but they did it.
Maybe Congress should take a hint from Treasury and ask how this simple stuff called logic works?
Ya know what? Shit sometimes really does happen.
What? You thought I was gonna let that sleeping pun lay unused? Fuhgeddaboudit!
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