Another edition of WTF

1) On Thursday (9/19) I am reading this article about Brian MacNamee’s federal lawsuit against Roger Clemens and a pretrial decision that a judge made in MacNamee’s favor when he ordered more than 900 pages of documents that Clemens’ legal team said should be barred as evidence because they were privileged information in an attorney-client relationship. Essentially, the article is just some mundane newspaper filler but caught my attention because in the headline it mentioned Andy Pettitte. In the article it brought up the fact that he had damaged the perjury and obstruction case against Clemens (wherein he was found non guilty) when he testified that it was 50-50 that he misunderstood what Clemens had told him about his association with HGH.

pettitte and  court

The article also reported that Pettitte is now scheduled to testify in the lawsuit and MacNamee’s lead attorney, Richard Emery, said he believed that Pettitte, who had (prior to testify at the Clemens’ perjury trial) told congressional investigators that he felt certain that Clemens had said that he had used HGH, did not intentionally lie but did try to hedge his answers in an effort to protect his friend. Up to there, I was just sipping my coffee and filling my morning with newspaper pap before having to actual pretend to start to do work at my job when the next sentence popped before my eyes and I no longer needed coffee for my morning jolt because my brain exploded with “WHAT THE…??!!”

The words that piqued my absurdity meter were: “The man is a Christian. I expect him to try to tell the truth.”

Okay deep breath… Count to ten…

Now WTF is that supposed to mean? Non-Christians are liars? If someone is a non-Christian then they have no capacity to even try to tell the truth but Christians can? Soooo… if I am a Muslim, a Jew, or Hindu, etc… I am a patent and/or a habitual or compulsive liar who obviously shouldn’t be trusted? And, does the freaking lawyer guy misremember that the so-called Christian, Pettitte, is a confirmed lair? Didn’t he tell everyone that he never used PEDs only to later recant in a “heart-wrenching, soul-bearing” tearful press conference that he used HGH “only twice”?

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Now maybe he misspoke and that is not what the barrister meant at all. But, the fact is, it is what he said and I have a problem with that.

Why?

Simply because those are the words that slipped through his lips and somewhere in his consciousness… the recesses and windmills of his mind… he thinks that crap.  And, he needs to train that part of his brain to change that crap. In other words he needs to check his bigotry at the door especially when making public pronouncements to reporters.

The fact is too many times I have heard people say things that were off the wall and then when called on it they will say: “I never said that.” Only to have some form of corroboration… other witnesses to their words, tape recordings, videos, etc… prove to them that they actually did say whatever absurdity it was that they uttered. THEN, they invariably say, “Well I didn’t mean that.” Well, guess what?  You are responsible for what comes out of your mouth and you should say what you mean and mean what you say.

Case closed.

Or, as Alice’s Mad Hatter once said: “Ah, that’s just it. If you don’t think, then you shouldn’t talk.”

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The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he said was, “Why is a raven like a writing-desk?” “Come, we shall have some fun now!” thought Alice. “I’m glad they’ve begun asking riddles. — I believe I can guess that,” she added aloud. “Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?” said the March Hare. “Exactly so,” said Alice. “Then you should say what you mean,” the March Hare went on. “I do,” Alice hastily replied; “at least–at least I mean what I say–that’s the same thing, you know.” “Not the same thing a bit!” said the Hatter. “You might just as well say that ‘I see what I eat’ is the same thing as ‘I eat what I see’!” “You might just as well say,” added the March Hare, “that ‘I like what I get’ is the same thing as ‘I get what I like’!” “You might just as well say,” added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, “that ‘I breathe when I sleep’ is the same thing as ‘I sleep when I breathe’!” (Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Chapter 7)

2) The Los Angeles Dodgers celebrated clinching the 2013 NL West division title with a swim in a rival’s pool. Earlier this year the Dodgers were left for dead as they were bringing up the bottom of their division. Then last week they completed an unbelievable second-half turnaround, when the team became the first MLB team to clinch a playoff spot with a win over the Diamondbacks on September 19 in Arizona. There was the usual on field pandemonium as the players all rushed together in a jubilant celebration of their accomplishment. Then they went into the visitors’ locker room and proceeded to do the de rigueur spraying of the champagne, pouring of beer over other folks’ heads and the general cockeyed silliness that grown men, at least grown baseball players, do when they win a title, albeit only a divisional title.  Following the celebratory mayhem, the players went back out onto the field and headed towards the swimming pool beyond the center-field wall at Chase Field. Led by Adrian Gonzalez, the players climbed over the wall and went jumping into the pool in a spontaneous and joyous group swim.

LAD pool 2dodgers-arizona-pool-

One problem, the Diamondbacks were not happy with the “on field” antics. It seems that earlier in the week the Diamondback officials, citing so-called security issues, had asked the Dodgers that once they went into the clubhouse and clicked together their cans of Bud Light and drunk a solemn toast that they should not to return to the field.

So, regardless that the ballpark was virtually empty when the Dodgers went across the field and into the pool, the Diamondbacks were pissed at what they saw as the Dodgers disrespecting them. Diamondbacks President Derrick Hall, ironically a former Dodgers executive, said an e-mailed statement, “I could call it disrespectful and classless, but they don’t have a beautiful pool at their old park and must have really wanted to see what one was like.”

Okay, now let me see if I got his right. On June 21, the Dodgers were in last place, with a 30-42 record, trailing … ahem … the first-place Diamondbacks by 9-1/2 games. Now on September 19, they clinched first place with an 88-65 record, leading the … ahem … second-place Diamondbacks by 10-1/2 games. The Dodgers have gone 58-23 since being in the dumps, including a 42-8 stretch that ranks as one of baseball’s best ever.

And, the D-backs got some candy-ass problem with the Dodgers doing a little minor “breaking of the rules” celebrating?

Now I have no idea what security issues there could have been out there in Arizona. But, how could a known entity… the Dodgers… being in the Diamondbacks’ ballpark and returning onto the field and enjoying some spur of the moment brotherly jocularity, after going from worst to first and getting into MLB’s playoff tournament, cause any potential terrorist activity?  I mean, WTF? Is this some sort of weird version of “Don’t Tread On Me” thinking going on here with the D-backs front office?

Maybe if the D-backs didn’t want the Dodgers celebrating on their field, then they shouldn’t have blown that 9-1/2-game lead in June, as well as the three-run lead that they had in the Dodgers’ clinching game.  And maybe it was just some karmic payback time after that little incident earlier this year when the D-backs had tossed hard inside at one of Dodgers’ star pitchers.

And maybe the Snakes should listen to their own Brandon McCarthy who tweeted his own take on the incident: “Celebrating is fun. I don’t care how and where you do it. Only thing to care about is what we need to do to celebrate in our pool next year.”

3) On September 19, an article published in Astrobiology reported that a team of scientists said that Earth will one day drift into an uninhabitable “hot zone”.

That’s the bad news.

The good news? Earth will be able to sustain life for at least the next 1.75 billion years — that is if we don’t freaking blow ourselves up first.  Seems earth is just the right distance from the sun for us to have a good supply of liquid water, which is a very good thing because water is a very key ingredient for life.

earth

If our planet would begin to drift too close to the sun the water would begin to evaporate and life would cease to thrive. No water; no life. The real life “Big Bang Theory” peeps said that between the next 1.75 billion to 3.25 billion years from now that Earth will travel into the solar system’s uninhabitable “hot zone” and pretty much shrivel our little blue orb right out of existence.

earthfire

So what would happen if that did begin to occur? The science guys have a theory on how to resolve that scenario, sneaky little critters that they are.  Seems several other planets also occupy the habitable zone and that the fourth rock from the sun would probably be our best bet for survival if things on Earth go to “hell in a hand basket” in a hurry. Yep, Mars.

mars_space_2039

Seems it is relatively close and will stay in the habitable zone until the end of the sun’s lifetime, which is only a mere six billion years from now.

Visualization of "wet" Mars
Visualization of “wet” Mars

Whew, now I can go ahead and keep that date with Jennifer Lawrence… or was that Kaley Cuoco?  Oh well, I guess I got time to figure it all out now.

4) Michael Kay works for “Yes” network as an announcer for the Yankees and also does an interview show called “CenterStage” and he recently had Opie from Mayberry as a guest on that show … Ron Howard for you peeps not up on trivia from the 1960s.

Don, Ron and Andy

Somehow the talk got around to when Sandy Koufax and Don Drysdale teamed up to stage a hold out for more money back in 1966. Howard told Kay he thought that “… it was outrageous.” Then Howard said he started thinking about what he made, as Opie on the Andy Griffith Show (1964-1968), per week and then started to add up his residuals and realized he was making more than Koufax for just sitting on his ass. Well it seems Ronnie thought “… that’s not fair, I’m making more than Koufax. He deserves the money.”

koufax SI

Now it is difficult to find info on what folks made during the early days of TV but I found one source that suggested Howard earned about $1,000 an episode. Which may not seem like a lot of money but back in the 1960’s that was a damn good paycheck for a week’s worth of work. For instance a new car could be gotten for about $3,500 and gas was about 31 cents a gallon. I found another source that said Andy Griffith made about $84,000 for a season worth of episodes plus he got paid residuals for summer reruns.

Ok, for you who have no idea what a summer rerun is: In the olden days most TV shows ran from September to about late April or so. During this period the weather was more unsettled and the daylight hours were short and a lot of people were more likely to stay inside in their warm living rooms watching TV.  Then when the later days of  spring and then summer were happening, when most people were out and about enjoying the longer days and warmer weather, instead of sitting in front of TV, they reran the fall season shows. Thus, the name summer reruns.

Now, according to Baseball Almanac, Koufax’ salary for 1963 was $35,000; for 1964 was $70,000 and for 1965 was $110,000. So, if Howard is right about what he made and he was making more than Koufax did in 1965 then I got a news flash: He was probably making that $1000 just for residuals per summer rerun and was probably pulling down about closer to $4000 per episode for the fall season episodes.

Yeah… the little twerp was a veritable money machine even back then.

5) Alanah Poullard attended a Wounded Warriors event at the White House with her father. She had to skip school so she could make it to the White House but she got special dispensation from high on up.

No, not that damn high. Come down a notch.

The 5-year-old Alanah Poullard marched up to Barack Obama and asked him for a note. The president said he was down with that and Chief Official White House Photographer Pete Souza caught the moment on camera before posting it online.

pardon24n-1-web

Lesson to be learned here is that if you don’t ask you will never know.

And, I bet that note doesn’t even make it into a teacher’s hand. In fact, I would give odds it is already framed and on the family’s living room wall.

6) On Friday (/20) the new Apple iPhone models, the 5S and the 5C, were released worldwide and chaos more than not, ruled in most places the devices were being sold. In California one guy came up with the brain storm to go to a Los Angeles homeless shelter and offer $40 to each down on his luck guy he could find if they would wait in line for vouchers for the coveted smartphones. So, as the men received a voucher they then turned it over to the would-be benefactor.

So what could go wrong you ask?

After the stores doors opened, the business man only managed to buy a handful of phones before the store ordered him out and deemed the rest of his vouchers useless. And, of course he pays off the few guys whose vouchers he was able to use but he then reneges on his promise of $40 to each of the other homeless folks. And, when he refused to pay the approximately 70 “hired” peeps outside the store the now angry men let their wrath be known. Police had to escort the man, who was never identified, away from the wild scene to a police cruiser and drove off. He was never cuffed and the police confirmed he did nothing illegal and that he was taken away only for his own safety.

Hours after the melee, many of the homeless still lingered around the store. Seems the Gordon “Greed is Good” Gekko wanna-be had provided rides to the store but now the vans that they had come in were nowhere in sight and they had no way to get back to the shelter. One of the men said, “It didn’t go right…  I stood out here all night.”

Rightttt… no crap, it didn’t go right.

Maybe this man wanting to corner the local iPhone market didn’t technically do anything wrong but at the very least what he did was mean spirited and unethical. I firmly believe that people are only as good as their word. And obviously this man’s word means bupkis. Unfortunately, I doubt there is much that can be done to right what was wrongly done to those who waited on line for the promise of some badly needed cash.

But…

Now, I know the police do have a certain obligation to keep the peace and make sure some people don’t get their ass kicked to within an inch of their lives when they cheat and lie to some homeless folks as probably would have been the case in the scenario at hand.  But, if it were me that was in charge of the rescue op, I would have, just for a few moments, turned my back before I hustled the creep into one of the cruisers to whisk him away. Hey, certain protocol and authorizations need to be followed. Not my fault if somehow the guy slipped and fell and hit his face on someone’s fist.

Now as if that weren’t enough excitement it turns out the police had to bust two other men for getting into a fistfight while standing in the line that was around a total of 200 people give or take about 70 homeless people.

Okay… these are freaking phones… not something like artificial hearts or some other piece of life saving technology. PHONES!

Now, why in hell anyone is placing so damn much importance on a freaking phone so that they need to lie, cheat, be dishonest and get into bouts of fisticuffs over a stupid piece of nonessential technology makes no sense to me at all.  It just does not. But then I don’t even own a cell phone so what the hell do I know any way, eh?

7) Gabrielle Union and her basketballer boyfriend, Dwayne Wade, were recently playing in the sand and surf for a photographer when they decided to take off in a race on the sand.

Gabrielle Dwayne Beach Love

In photos obtained by various media formats, Union and Wade are seen running and in the sequence of shots her bikini bottoms can be seen slip sliding away.

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Needless to say this is not very newsworthy if the following doesn’t happen: Before she could catch her bikini bottom from falling down, her private parts were exposed. Union sat down quickly in the surf, repositioned her bikini, and it was all good.

How come that kind of stuff never happens around me when I got my 35 mm Canon in hand?

8) After Sunday’s ass-whuppin’ by Carolina (38-0) and his team off to an 0-3 start for the first time during his New York tenure, coach Tom Coughlin says he doesn’t believe the Giants gave up last Sunday or have tuned him out. (Haven’t we been here and done this with Coughlin before?) This is contrary to what many radio and TV announcers calling the game said. And most vocal of those peeps was a former player for the Giants, one Carl Banks. In fact, Coughlin’s remarks came directly after a question was raised to him about Banks comments on WFAN on Monday (9/23) when Banks said that he thought it was “scary” at how the Giants “just took it” during the 38-0 trouncing.

In an answer to another question, Coughlin did not discount making lineup changes. But he said as if he were channeling Bill Parcells: “Your team is your team.”  Then when he was asked if the Giants have the personnel on the roster to turn things around, Coughlin said, “We are certainly going to find out.”

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The bottom line here is that I believe this is what the Giants really are like as a football team. Maybe not as pitiful as that 38-0 whuppin’, but, still not a very good team. And, I think last year the Giants only did as well as they did in the early going because Coughlin is that good of a coach. Unfortunately, this year, for whatever reason, he is not reaching the players. Which I think is more them than him.

It might be nearing the end of Coughlin’s run in New York but, even though the Giants ain’t my team (Jets, ya’ll), I hope somehow, some way, they rebound and at least play with some spirit and in honor of a damn good coach.

9) Recently, suspended Texas Rangers outfielder Nelson Cruz said it was not his choice to not appeal his 50-game suspension for using PEDs. He said, “My first thought was to appeal, and right up to the last day I told [the Rangers] my decision was to appeal. That was my plan. It’s hard to explain it, but at the end it wasn’t my decision. It wasn’t what I wanted to do. It came out of my hands. It was so hard because I knew something worse could happen to me. If I wasn’t a free agent, it would have been different. It’s a totally different situation.”

cruz apologizes

Okay, I am gonna say this as simply as I can.  If he didn’t do the deed then he should not have accepted the penalty.

I am tired of these players who always have excuses for everything. It this simple: if you did something wrong then say I was wrong, I am sorry, and I will never do it again. And, then commit yourself to those words and just do it.  And, if you did not do anything wrong then why on earth would you accept a suspension? Or, apologize at a press conference?

I am sorry but his words are just hollow blowhard justification and an attempt at trying to earn some sympathy from us fans. Ya wanna prove your clean? Then submit to blood test drug screening every week for one full season. If you still put up the numbers you did in the past then I, for one, will believe that you are now playing clean.

The proof, as they say, is in the pudding.

10) Denver Broncos linebacker Von Miller is suspended for six weeks. We know why Von Miller’s suspension was six games and not the usual four for drug use because Adam Schefter and Chris Mortensen reported on ESPN that Miller tried to corrupt the urine-collection process by getting one of the collectors to substitute someone’s clean urine for Miller’s dirty urine. The ruse might have actually been successful except that a second specimen collector discovered that Miller wasn’t in the city where the collection was supposed to have taken place.

Real freaking bright… I mean if ya’ll gonna cheat and lie you think a guy might wanna take care of a few little details like that just in case someone happend to check the paperwork and asked a few questions?

Von-Miller

This is right on the same level of MLB’s Ryan Braun cheating, conniving, lying attempt to cheat the testing methodology.  In some ways it is even worse. I say make the punishment fit the crime. Because Miller did not just use drugs but he tried to subvert the entire testing procedure and system through using some weak, lying cheap ass jerk who is supposed to be honor bound to make sure the system works in the right manner. Screw six games and make it a full sixteen. One season plus no post season if your team makes it that far. And, then mandatory weekly drug testing for the next three years.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, ya cheating punk.

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