What up world!? This the kid EJ back with another edition of The Blog About Nothing. Your boy is a fan of the dude Drake and his album Nothing Was The Same leaked online this week and I’ve been listening to it all damn week. This week’s blog is inspired by the album, which as far as I’m concerned will win the Grammy for Best Rap Album next year. Count on it. One of my favorite tracks on the Album is 305 To My City and that’s where I’ll take y’all this week. I’m going to start off in the MIA and end up in my town: NYC. Let’s take a ride.
Chris Andersen of the Miami Heat was cleared this week of a child porn charge. What, the Birdman is a pedophile? Nah. Apparently the tall white dude with colorful tattoos was double catfished. Catfish? Word to Nev Schulman that is my show!! Chris has always been a free spirit, raised by free spirit parents, but back in 2011 while playing for the Denver Nuggets his home was raided by the authorities on the suspicion of child porn. This how the whole thing started: a woman hit Chris up on the internet and showed him some pics of her scantily dressed. Chris flew her out to Colorado but he just wasn’t feeling her like that. Scorned, she hit him up again and said give me some dollars or I’m going to the police. Well, Birdman wasn’t being extorted that easy. But, but, wait it’s get worse: A Canadian woman stole Chris’ identity online, found out Chris was indeed talking to a woman online (the girl posed as someone 21 and over but was indeed 17 which is the legal age of consent in Colorado) and she started e-mailing the young woman, posing as Chris, and asking her to post pics of herself online, while she was also e-mailing Chris pretending to be the girl from California and threatening to expose him as a pedophile for cash.
Shit, I’m confused. OK. This is how this crazy venn diagram breaks down. A 29 year old Canadian woman from Manitoba orchestrated the whole thing. Posing as Andersen she reached out to a girl in California, who in turn met up with the real Andersen. After Andersen’s smash and dash session, the Canadian reached out to the California girl and insisted that she post more pics online for his enjoyment. These requests grew stranger in nature, in turn the catfish would contact Andersen asking for money to keep the whole thing quiet. During this time his play with the Nuggets went down, and when they released him, it took a leap of faith for the Heat to bring him in. Andersen has a couple of rings on his fingers now and the Canadian woman is looking at some jail time. Crazy, huh? This is why I have a rule: don’t talk to no woman I don’t know on the internet. I ain’t got no money, but most of them ladies are batshit crazy, and the kid EJ don’t handle crazy too well. Nah, boo. You keep your messy ass outside of my life and my circle.
While you figure that mess out, a funny scene took place in Houston this week. Last football season Mark Sanchez of the New York Jets ran into guard Brandon Moore and the butt fumble entered the American lexicon, while Jets fans buried their heads into the hands due to the embarrassment. Well, this week the words butt tag was trending. What in the hell is the butt tag you ask? Back on September 17th the lowly Houston Astros were hosting the Cincinnati Reds, in a game no one really cared about to keep it 100, until Jonathan Villar got tagged out from trying to turn a single into a double. Seems routine enough, until you see the picture of Phillips applying the tag with his back turned to the runner in the base path, and the runner Villar sliding face first right into Phillips’ behind. Dude caught a face full of ass. The funny thing is Villar’s slide shows him lifting his head, and the fear in his eyes as he knows he’s about to hit face first right into Phillips’ booty. You can see his eyes go: aww hell nah! It was definitely a bad moment in a season full of bad moments for the ASStros. Oh my bad, the Astros.
I like how I just hit up two cities that Drake talks about the most in his songs. Miami and Houston. I get it, I get it. I should take a ride up to the 905 real quick and complete the Drake trilogy. Show a little love for Toronto. I got some people in Toronto, and although this would break my Uncle’s heart I got to say that the Blue Jays suck (but I’m not worried about Unc because he don’t read this blog anyway). The Toronto Blue Jays came into this season as a trendy pick to win the AL East, and to make the playoffs but once again they are last place in the AL East, and once again it wouldn’t stun me if they trade away half their roster in an attempt to rebuild. The 69-82 Jays have been a complete bust. Reigning NL Cy Young winner R.A. Dickey (shout out to my hometown Mets real quick) has been a disappointing 13-12 and another offseason pickup Mark Buehrle is currently 11-9. Another castaway from the offseason Jays-Marlins deal (there’s that Miami connection . . . I get it, I get it) Jose Reyes has played in only 83 games and has only 34 RBI’s. Edwin Encarnacion is the only bright spot on the team, but in a division with the Red Sox, Rays, Yankees, and Orioles who are all on the upswing, it would be smart of the Jays to just blow it up, accept the losses and try to be competitive in 3-4 seasons when the other teams should be on a downswing. Build for the future. It’s Toronto. I know it to be a laid back place, so I’m sure the fan base would get it. You can rebuild there. Where you can’t rebuild is my hometown of New York City.
Nah, we don’t get rebuilding here. Reloading is what we do. Cock, aim, and shoot for the glory. Feel me? That’s supposed to be the aim of St. John’s University head coach Steve Lavin. The Johnnies have had moments of glory throughout the past 30 years. NCAA tourney runs, Final Fours, Elite Eights, NIT runs and all of that. However, last year was a bit of a stepback. Now I have to concede that Lavin was out for most of the season due to his recovery from prostate cancer surgery. Now, healed, Johnnies fans and alumni (such as your boy) expect St. John’s to rise to the top in the new Big East. Yup, it’s a new day in the Big East. Gone are the football playing schools, and the conference is now 10 strong full of mainly Catholic basketball playing universities. Coming off a 17-16, and a 8-10 Big East conference record, I actually feel encouraged by the direction the Johnnies are going. Why? They’re some talented players on the roster.
Let me start with swingman Jakarr Sampson. The Akron, Ohio native (yes he’s from the same town and high school of Drake’s homie LeBron James) was the team’s second leader scorer and top rebounder last season. The 6’8″ will play power forward for the Red Storm playing off of shot blocking center Chris Obekpa. Obekpa, a Nigerian prince (no, really, the dude is a prince), led the NCAA in blocks at 4 per game. Obekpa, Sampson, and Sir’Dominic Pointer makes up the front court. Now, any New Yorker knows that point guard play is what we value and Philly native Rysheed Jordan better be a playmaker for these Johnnies. The freshman is known for being a big guard that can create for himself and his teammates. He’s better in the open court, so expect some run and gun at times with the Johnnies. Jordan, and Obekpa will hopefully lead the re-tooled Johnnies back to glory but it won’t be easy with a tough Georgetown, Marquette, and new addition Creighton lead by their star Doug McDermott. I’d be happy with a March Madness berth and a top 4 finish for the Johnnies in the new league. That’s not rebuilding though. No, Lavin can recruit and build off what should be a good season into reloading.
The Red Storm need to take that next step and keep New York kids home, and make Madison Square Garden and Carnesecca Arena a tough place to play in. It doesn’t make sense to see Brooklyn kids like Isiah Whitehead or Khadeem Carrington choose Seton Hall over St. John’s but this season will be key for Lavin. All Lavin needs to do is win and do a better job at bringing in hometown kids. Lavin and the Johnnies better step up to make alumni like myself proud to rep for the Red Storm.
So, I just went from the 305 to my City. I get it, I get it. I did it, I did it. Hopefully, y’all enjoyed the ride and I’ll see you next week. Thank you for once again supporting 7poundbag.com and peace.
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