You think you have heard it all when something new comes down the pike. Then you either read or hear or see something that just makes you say what the… and shake your head.
1) In Arizona be very careful who you ask to hold your cup of beer if you need two hands to do something. Say, like take a snapshot of something cute or interesting at a ball game.
While at a preseason Cardinals season ticket holder John Coulter asked his son to hold his beer while he took out his cell phone to snap a pic. In the time it took to snap the photo, two undercover agents of the Arizona Department of Liquor Licenses and Control braced him and accused him of providing liquor to a minor. This in Arizona is a Class 1 misdemeanor that could get ya two years in the cooler. After implying that Coulter committed an arrestable act and that the agents could take him onto custody, he was asked to leave the game. Coulter said his attempts to explain the situation was met with deaf ears.
Now I know there are always two sides to every story and maybe Mr. Coulter may have reacted to the agents confronting him by saying something to the effect “Why you two sumbitches all up in my face, huh?” But, somehow I really believe this is an incident of some shcmucks letting power go to their head. And, instead of using good old policeman common sense, they adhered to the letter of the law when they, first, threatened Mr. Coulter, and, then asked him to leave the games vicinity and, in effect pissed all over a father son night out.
2) On August 20, 2013, the New York Daily News led off a news item with the query “Is marijuana less toxic than alcohol?”
The question was presented by the Daily News in an article that was reporting on the fact that The “National Institute on Drug Abuse” (NIDA) said that it cannot be substantiated that marijuana is safer than alcohol.” It seems the agency was responding to a claim made in an ad by the Marijuana Policy Project that stated that pot is “less toxic” than alcohol.
Essentially pot supporters (and I) wondered “what the fuck” the folks at the National Institute on Drug Abuse had in their coffee that morning when they issued their statement.
The Marijuana Policy Project provided facts and numbers from the “Centers for Disease Control and Prevention” that show that while 41,682 deaths were attributed to alcohol in 2010, marijuana was not listed as the cause of death for a single person that year.
In a word the Marijuana Policy Project called NIDA’s statement “preposterous.”
The Daily News also reported that a spokesperson for the Marijuana Policy Project said that “The U.S. Centers for Disease Control reports no marijuana-use-only deaths each year and there has never been a marijuana overdose death in history…” and that it reports “tens of thousands of people die from alcohol use alone each year and hundreds die from acute overdose.”
The fact-checking news site PolitiFact rated the claim that marijuana is less toxic than alcohol to be “mostly true.” PolitiFact spoke with Dr. Richard Gable, who conducted an eight-year study on recreational drug use, whose results would also seem to side with the Marijuana Policy Project’s claims.
Gable said, “… when it comes to the chances of immediate death by chemical toxicity, marijuana is about a hundred times less toxic than alcohol or cocaine.” Really? Ya wanna try like a thousand, or tens of thousands of times less toxic and less likely to make a user turn into an aggressive maniac.
Now I don’t want you peeps to use this as a carte blanche ticket to get to thinking there are no consequences to just smoking pot all day long but to tell you the truth I ain’t never heard of anyone getting lit up enough on pot smoking to go out go drag race at a 100 mph and wrap their car around a pole or get into a fight or a domestic dispute that winds up with people arrested and someone laying on the ground a bloody mess.
3) Be fruitful and multiply with raspberries (NYDN August 26). Eating raspberries can make you a better man! Who knew?
A study by the US Department of Energy’s Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory showed that raspberries are loaded with vitamin C. Vitamin C, it appears, increases the chance you won’t be shooting blanks at that very special moment when you really do want to have a special moment of conception with your wife or very special woman friend. It also appears raspberries are packed with magnesium which is involved with the making of testosterone. Now what could be more manly than being loaded with some good old testosterone? Right?
Now, that is all well and good. And, for anyone of you out there who have been trying to impregnate your beloved, and, well… just haven’t made the connection yet… go ahead and eat some of them damn raspberries. But can anyone tell me why anyone is wasting their time studying raspberries and whether it can increase a guy’s productive sperm count? And who the hell is paying for this study any way?
4) On July 30, in Medical News Today (MNT) was the following: “Need new teeth? You’re in luck… as in urine luck, because scientists are on the verge of creating new teeth from pee.”
Yes, pee. It seems Chinese researchers used stem cells from pee to grow human-like teeth in mice. There are problems such as the procedure has a 70 percent failure rate so far and the new teeth are only a third as hard as real teeth. But as MNT said “… it’s a mouse step in the right direction.”
Now getting stem cells form a person’s pee does avoid the controversial use of embryos and is a much more readily available source. I mean most people pee two or three times a day without fail, No?
But, there is still something about knowing that future replacement teeth in my mouth may be from my neighbors pee that is very unsettling.
4) On August 24, 2013 , the crew of the fishing boat ‘Marlin Darlin’ received an unexpected surprise when one of its namesake fish jumped onboard. It appears a big assed 350-pound Marlin jumped onto the boat as a group of men fished off the coast of the Dominican Republic. Yep, just hauled ass and leapt right onto their boat. Don’t believe it? They got video on the internet, just go Google it.
The jump was caught on camera while the boat’s owner Bobby Jacobsen was recording his fishing adventure. The video shows that the fish landed on the cockpit of the Jacobsen’s 62-foot yacht. The marlin died from self-sustained injuries and was donated to local fishermen.
Now, in all my days of fishing, which haven’t exactly been all that much, I have never, even on purpose, caught a fish bigger than maybe three pounds and this sob gets a 350 lb trophy fish just jumping into this lap? Damn!
5) On September 20, 1973, 50 million Americans, tired of Vietnam and Watergate, watched the boob tube to see whether a woman could defeat a man on a tennis court. The match pitted Billie Jean King, the 29-year-old champion of that year’s Wimbledon tournament and a crusader for the women’s liberation movement, against Bobby Riggs, a 55-year-old gambler, hustler and long-ago tennis champ who had willingly become America’s male chauvinist pig. Before a live gate of 30,472 at the Houston Astrodome, still the largest crowd to watch tennis in the United States, the two folks played the match. Proof, once again, that if you paint something up just right that you can sell anything to anyone, and, make a nice profit. Riggs was the prohibitive favorite. In fact just four months earlier, Riggs had crushed Margaret Court, the world’s No. 1 women’s tennis player, 6-2, 6-1, in an exhibition labeled by the media as the “Mother’s Day Massacre.” Now King was ready to try to beat Riggs and strike a blow for women’s rights everywhere and shut the big yaps on every man from here to Timbuktu. No one gave King a chance. Even then 18-year-old Chrissie Evert predicted Riggs would defeat King, then the No. 2-ranked woman.
Then an out of shape Riggs who played an uninspired match, by most accounts, lost to King, and, wow, the hoopla that followed.
But wait, now about 40 years later it seems some guy by the name of Hal Saw had heard the voices at the Palma Ceia Golf and Country Club in Tampa, Fla and as he surreptitiously looked through a window, he saw Frank Ragano, a Palma Ceia member and mob attorney and two others he knew from newspaper photographs — Santo Trafficante Jr., the Florida mob boss whom Ragano represented, and Carlos Marcello, the head of the New Orleans mob. Seems, according to Shaw, they discussed paying off Riggs to throw the match to resolve a $100,000 dollar gambling debt.
Ok, let’s stop this right here and now. I understand the hoopla around this whole thing and, wow, now some mobsters are involved… BUT … “what the fuck?” Do I really care that some 29 year old woman in her tennis prime beat some old washed up tennis pro? Pulazzzeese… I had better things to do with my time then and I got better things to do with my time now.
6) In the Giants – Jets preseason game over the weekend the Jets rookie QB, Geno Smith, was having a pretty crappy game including three INTS and an unforced safety by stepping out of the end zone. Still it was a close game as the Giants ineptitude and penchant for penalties kept the Jets in the game. Then, late in the game Jets coach, Rex Ryan, pulls Smith and inserts the first string and default starting QB for the start of the real season, Mark Sánchez, into the game. Problem was his protection was the second string and not the first string. Yep, Sanchez gets whacked around and suffers a shoulder injury and is now doubtful for the season’s regular season opener.
Why on earth is Sánchez in the game? According to Ryan, because they were trying to win the game. Excuse me? Win the game?
Rex, baby, it is preseason. No one cares whether you win or lose the game. At least no one who has their football priorities straight. Preseason is a time for experiments. To try new things. See young talent. And finally these damn games don’t count for diddly squat.
7) Then there is this Tweet from @peytonsHead: “Things are finally looking up for Joe McKnight. After a summer with a concussion, arrest, migraines and media fights, the Jets released him.”
Sort of says it all don’t it?
8) Today I saw an article that said Mickey Ds just added chicken wings to its US menus beginning next month. The cost is gonna be $2.99. A limited run for the wings will be until November but it got me to thinking that when MacDonald’s opened its first burger joint around 1960 in Bridgeport, Ct, me and my buddy, Larry, would walk about four miles from neighboring town Trumbull to upper Main Street in Bridgeport with a dollar in each of our pockets and buy 4 burgers, 1 fries and 1 milkshake and have 10 cents left over to go to the candy store if we wanted. Now, I know the economy has changed a lot since the 1960s but what the heck happened so that the cheapest thing on a MacDonalds menu is now a tad over $1.00?
And, yes, you read it right we walked!!!!! No, “Mom can you take us to MacDonald’s? Pleaaaase……..”
9) And who do the Jets have in training camp now that McKnight is gone? None other than Mike Goodson who just returned to the Jets after not reporting throughout the entire preseason. And, so you know, Goodson was arrested on weapons and drug charges during the offseason and now has been suspended by the NFL for the first four games of the regular season for violating the NFL Policy and Program for Substances of Abuse (they couldn’t come up with an easier moniker than that?).
So, let’s see if I got his right. You get rid of a guy, granted a guy with some questionable issues, who could of at least played from the start of the season for a guy who can only attend meetings and work out by himself and appears to have issues of his own. Makes sense in a Jets sort of way, huh?
10) And I hate to sound like I am picking on the Jets this week, because I am a Jets fan. Been one since they were called the New York Titans back in the day. But….. this tweet from @FlsolaNYDN: “I’m blaming Rex for Matt Harvey’s injury.”
And the Mets are a whole other story but we can save that for another time.
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