Over Sixty …………

archie 

  ROMANCE

Alice was lying in bed one night. Art was falling asleep but Alice was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting..”

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: “Then you used to kiss me..”

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: “Then you used to bite my Neck…”

Angrily, Art threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

“Where are you going?” Alice asked..

“To get my teeth!”

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DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTER

 

 

80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, “Anyone who can guess what’s in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!”

An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, “An elephant?”

Bessie thinks for a second and says, “Close enough.”

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OLD FRIENDS

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me… I know we’ve been friends for a long time but I just can’t think of your name.. I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is.”

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said,

“How soon do you need to Know?”

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SENIOR DRIVING

 As a senior citizen was driving down the motorway ,his car phone rang.. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice               urgently warning him, ” Vernon , I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on I-25. Please be careful!”

“Hell,” said Vernon , “It’s not just one car….It’s hundreds of them!”

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SUPERSEX

 

 

A little old lady who had lost her marbles was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she ran, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say ” Supersex .” She ran up to an elderly man in a wheelchair , flipping her gown at him, she said, ” Supersex .”

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, “I’ll take the soup.”

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DRIVING

 Two elderly women were out driving in a large car – both could barely see over the dashboard . As they                           were cruising along, they came to major crossroad . The stop light was red, but they just went on                            through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself “I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.” After a few more minutes, they came to another major junction and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next junction, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, ” Mildred , did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!”

 Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh! Am I driving?”

 

 

Please !!!! Friends, tell me this won’t happen to us !!!!

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About Archie 139 Articles
Name: Archie Michael Williams Age: 57 (as of 17 September) Occupation: Department of the Army Civilian / Retired Army NCO Grew up in North Carolina, now live in Oklahoma I entered the US Army in October 1984 and retired May 2005. Veteran of the Gulf War with the 3rd Armor Calvary Regiment (ACR) Spent entire Army career as a Fire Support Specialist (Field Artillery Observer / Coordinator) Avid, let me say this again, AVID sports fan. Favorite teams and sports: NFL = Pittsburgh Steelers MLB = Atlanta Braves NBA = OKC Thunder NHL = There is no way I could care less. Soccer = see NHL note College NCAAF = Oklahoma Sooners NCAAB = UNC Tarheels. Hobbies = Golf, Bowling , Hunting, Fishing I will answer any questions you have, Just give me a buzz!

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