2013 NFL Draft Diary part 1

NFL DRAFT

78th NFL Draft!

Really Long “How you like me now” song. 50 Cent is alive???

Ok, is he relevant?

Moving on. . .

Chris Berman welcomes us, and talks history of the building and Jon Gruden with Mel Kiper (and his hair)

I do have to apologize for the lack of a final Mock for you, I literally lost my notes. Like vanished. Pisses me off.

As you know, I’m a Panthers Fan, I have been wanting Kenny Vaccaro since he declared. The last DB I wanted this bad? Some bust named Patrick Peterson that Arizona got.

My other target? Both ESPNI guys say Star is coming to Carolina. I’ll be honest, he’s a top 8 guy easy. If he’s there, I’ll be happy.

King Roger welcomes us and talks West Texas and other recent tragedies. Shuts the booing crowd up and gets a USA chant.

Roger breaks out Joe Namath and Phil Simms to talk Super Bowl 48. Phil Simms says we are on the clock.

I get to pick??

King Roger (re)opens the year. For the third time we hear the words- On the Clock.

KC is on the clock, and we know he’s going Fisher, since they can’t hold a secret, we also know they are going to ride the clock trying to get a trade.

Mel points out the Alex Smith trade and says they are going Fisher.

I don’t understand why they are so ready to get rid of Brandon Albert, Gruden agrees with me, so I am rethinking my position. I do think the Chefs can ignore the draft and be the second best team in the AFC WEST.

Personally I like Luke Joeckel better. Hell, I like Johnson better.

Joeckel-Johnson-Fisher is how I’d rank them.

Hold up! NFL Security is still using WALKIE-TALKIES!!

KC wastes 10 minutes.

kc-chiefs-HelmetKC Selects: Eric Fisher, T Central Michigan

Stunning no one.

Only the 4th tackle ever to go #1. 2 of them are Cantonized or will be.

Jacksonville is up

Needs: TALENT, Give a shit.

We are told we are commercial free the rest of the hour, so lets get a TON of commercials real quick.
ITS THE DRAFT- Who turns it off after pick 1?

Jacksonville is faster. Both Mel and Jon make a case for OT, since Tony Boselli is not walking through that door!

I’m thinking Defense.

jax-jaguars-HelmetJacksonville Selects: Luke Joeckel, T, Texas A&M

Hangon, thats a SMART pick???

Oakland is up, and we get a Bud Light ad! ESPN breaks out the Fan Forum for the idiot question.

“After the Carson Palmer trade, do the Raiders need to draft a QB with the No. 3 Overall Pick”

Well, dumbass- NO!!! They got Flynn and about 15 other needs!! Unless RG3 is sitting there.

I’d love to see Mel or Jon just laugh his ass off.
Mel says they may look for a QB on DAY THREE

Raiders have a first round pick for the first time in  three years.

I’ll take Floyd or Johnson. Mel is pimping Johnson, Jon likes Dee. 3rd overall is a bit much for him.

Raiders Trade to Miami!!

Mel Calls it for Lane Johnson! I bet he’s right.
Andy Reid screwed that up.

mia-dolphins-helmetMiami selects: Dion Jordan: OLB Oregon.

BAD selection. He’s on my list for top 10 busts, and I can’t see him better than Johnson.

I love how his highlight reels shows him MISSING A TACKLE!!!

AD: Just throwing that out there.

To be honest with you, I’d like this pick better if it was by the Raiders.

Miami got the Number 3.
Raiders get the number 12, and the number 42 pick.

AD: Again.

NOTE TO ESPN:

IF YOU MENTION A COMPANY, AND SHOW THEIR LOGO, THAT’S AN ADD.

Note- click on the adds on this site and buy lots of stuff from Amazon 🙂 Like us on Facebook too!

Philly is on the clock!

I can see Dee here, maybe Floyd? Chip loves speed (and Nike)

phi-eagles-HelmetEagles select: Lane Johnson OT, Oklahoma

No Problems there.
I like him better than Fisher, by the way.

Mel and Jon are impressed with the pick. Its hard to complain about getting a top 5 pick.

Bud Ad- Do they need more protection or do they need defense.

That narrows it down, thats only 16 of the 22 spots you are asking about.

I like Dee here, the top OTs are gone, and they don’t need Sherriff here. Bark is a bit of a reach.

Barry Sanders is going to announce the pick!! I guess Reggie Bush was busy. Oh, its a Madden 25 ad. Sorry.

det-lions-helmetLions Select: Ezekiel Ansah, DE, BYU

REAAAAACH ALERT!!
Horrid pick. MONSTER REACH. Not sure he’s gonna be a bust, he might be a 7 star starter, but that is going to be a pick where its “chosen over” other guys later on.

Browns bum-rush the pick.

Not much is said here- ESPNChick can’t even get a full worthless interview out as King Roger is almost asking for the band to play them off the stage!

cle-browns-helmetBrowns select: Barkevious Mingo, DE, LSU

I love him more than Dion and MILES more than Ansah. Yes that was an LSU jab. Mingo might not have been the right pick for the Browns, but he’s going to play a decade, and could be VERY good if he gets someone to stop doubles. I think he ends up a Linebacker eventually.

Cards are next, and they take some time. The Cards are rebuilding through free agentcy. I would love to see Dee here- since teaming with PP and they have the best CBs in the NFL, you could also go Kenny with a slight reach and basically tell the NFL you don’t get this half of the feild until 2020. A QB under Palmer might be good, but there are some players dropping, they could use NOW. Sherriff?
Gruden makes the case for OL.

az-cards-helmetCardinals select: Jonathan Cooper G UNC

Bit of a reach, but I guess with Old Man Palmer, and a brittle Mendenhall, they want some talent up front. I wonder if they could have jumped up to the Iggles pick and gotten more help?
Of course, any UNC player is awesome. Cooper is one STRONG mutha, solid, base hit pick.

The Bills have MADE A TRADE.

The Rams have moved up, and of course, this moves everyone into a tizzy, both Mel and Jon know the pick, its Austin from VWU. I’m kinda stunned here, is he that good? Haven’t we seen you can get away with a ton of B-B+ guys? I’m not sure I see a Round 1 WR and I sure as Hades don’t see a Round 1 Running Back on the lost.

We spend a TON of time on Austin, if the Rams don’t take him, and they shouldn’t, then we got issues. Mel might explode.

stl-rams-helmetRams select: Tavon Austin, WR, West Virginia

Crowds not exactly happy. I love how the Rams went 4-0-1 in the division. I guess they tied themselves?

I’m not saying he’s a bust- in fact I think he’s going to be a great player, but wouldn’t Dee or Floyd or even Star be a better fit?

Jets on the clock, time to goto Sal Pal. Must be nice to sit in the Jets for 20 years and make Mort and the rest do the other 29 teams. Has Sal even done an update for the Giants?

We touch on the Revis deal. Is there a roster with less players I want on it? I mean name me the roster you would take, other than the Browns? And he went 6-10 with them!

Rams get 8th and 71st picks
Bills get 16th, 46th, 78th, 222nd pick.

Seems like the 8th cost more than the 3rd.

Think on that. and people think Rex Ryan can’t coach. The Jets need to go with Star or Sherrif. Wait on Barkley and hope Chance falls a bit more.

ESPN is pushing for Dee, and I think the replacement for Revis is a great Idea

ny-jets-HelmetJets select: Dee Milliner, CB, Alabama

I knew there wasnt a chance in Hell Carolina could have gotten him, I don’t think he’s as good as Patrick Peterson or a mentally healthy Honey Badger, but he’s a keeper.

The JETS DID NOT BOO THE PICK!!!!

That should make the powers that be happy.

Titans are back on the clock.

ESPN is so damn happy they can finally go to the commercial. Over Under. 4.5 commercials.

4. I was close.

Titans have to get chance or trade back some. They have serious O-Line problems, and need to get 2K some help, until they can cut him.

ten-titans-helmetTitans Select: Chance Warmack G Alabama

Heckuva pick. Excellent job.

Hey! More commercials!

IRON MAN 3 TRAILER- Ok, you are forgiven.

Chargers are on the clock, time to rebuilt, AJ Smith is finally fired, and with him Norv. They also need O-Line help in a MONSTER Way, I could also see them jumping for the TE from Notre Dame. Fluker could go here. We are in range for Carolina and both Kenny and Star are out there. 2 picks to go before I know I’m getting one.

sd-chargers-helmetChargers select: DJ Fluker OT Alabama

Earlier than he should go, but there is not a lot of quality Tackles left. Love the pick for the Chargers.

Damn there is a ton of Bama players here.

Back to the Raiders, and of course ESPN is wanting to see Geno Smith go there. I don’t think the Raiders are doing it. I could see them going Barkley later- no wait- THEY HAVE A QB. Holy sheet ESPN, let it GO.

Raiders did give up the number 3 pick for not a lot, by the way.

The Raiders need to go with Star, Floyd or trade down. Drop another 4-5 picks and get Kenny? They need TALENT, not Geno!

oak-raiders-HelmetRaiders select: DJ Hayden CB Houston

Bit of a reach to me. He went 3 picks after Dee, and the gap between the two are MUCH more than 3 picks. I’m not a fan of the pick at ALL.

Sorry DJ.

In good news- I AM GETTING EITHER STAR OR KENNY!!

Unless Carolina gets stupid here.

Jets are back on the clock, Sherrif has to go here, right? ESPN is in full PIMP GENO MODE.

JON GRUDEN CALLS THEM OUT ON IT. ” Geno Smith must have a lot of friends at ESPN, he’s not even my number 1 QB!”

I LOVE JON GRUDEN!!!!!

Mel says if the Jets don’t take him here, he could miss round 1. – DAYUM

I’d take Floyd, but how about a TE? QBs need a TE in today’s NFL. Berman think Tebow should goto the CFL, not a bad idea.

ny-jets-HelmetJets select Sheldon Richardson DT Missouri

REACH

I’m thinking bust here. I saw him play vs some of the NFL players in the SEC, and I wasn’t impressed. Hate the Pick.

CAROLINA IS ON THE CLOCK.

Please Please PLEASE take Kenny or Star- Hell, Sherrif is STILL there! He’s a top talent! RUN TO THE PODIUM YOU ASS!

Since I get to pick either one, I love Kenny but there are two great DTs there.  Can we drop 2 picks and pick up a 4th?

My luck they take Sylvester Williams.

car-panthers-helmetThe World Champion Carolina Panthers take Star Lotulelei

YES LAWD!

I’ll be thinking Sherrif for awhile here, but I’m happy.

Jon questions his pass rushing skills. But I don’t need him getting sacks, I need him eating space.

HOT DAMN!!

Saints are on the clock. Oh Shit. Kenny is out there and LORD KNOWS their pass D sucks like Jenna Jameson with rent late.

My Wife is a HUGE Saints fan, so I think they should take GENO SMITH!!!

Berman says you have to get your oil change when you get past 7,000 yards. DAMN.

no-saints-helmetSaints select Kenny Vaccaro S Texas

St Judes patient gets to make the pick. Good for him. Love me some St Judes.

SON OF A BITCH

Love the player, love the fit, if the Saints moved to the AFC South, I’d be thrilled. He’s gonna be looking at Cam for a frikken DECADE.

Back to the Bills. Back to the Geno Smith talk.

Mel retracts the earlier statement about Geno skipping out on the first round.

Adam pimps another QB, and is not tazed by ESPN higher ups for saying it. Berman seems confused. Mel tries to save him. Everyone is looking at Ryan Nassib from Syracuse. I don’t see why he won’t be there at 20, personally.

Jon Gruden: “I never picked a QB, and thats why I’m sitting with you guys”

buf-bills-helmetBills select: EJ Manuel, QB, Florida State

HOLY SHEET- thats a reach.

Keep in mind, I’m an ACC guy, and this guy don’t SCARE me. If you are the first QB off the board- or in round 1, you need to SCARE me, and considering I have the Carolina TARHEEL defense, not the Carolina PANTHER defense, this is a bad idea.

I’m not saying he can’t sit a year, ala Steve McNair, and come out year two and be a monster, but won’t he be there in 20 picks? Sherrif? The Bills must not be looking at year 1 here, and thats ok, but still. I guess the ‘Cuse QB isn’t staying home.

 

That’s it for part 1 of the NFL Draft Diary. I’ll have part two up shortly.

 

 

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About David Snipes 1326 Articles
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1 Comment

  1. I hate the Sheldon Richardson pick too. It looks like the Jets are moving Coples to linebacker to accomodate him but Coples at 280 pounds is too big to play linebacker. If the Jets were a 4-3 team then maybe I could justify the pick.

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