Paraprosdakians…………………..

archieParaprosdakians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Winston Churchill loved them.

 

1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

 

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.

 

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 

4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

 

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

 

6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

 

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

 

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

 

9. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

 

10. In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, Notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR’.

 

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

 

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

 

13. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure..

 

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

 

15. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a mechanic.

 

16. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

 

17. I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

18. It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt; then its frigging hilarious.

 

 

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About Archie 139 Articles
Name: Archie Michael Williams Age: 57 (as of 17 September) Occupation: Department of the Army Civilian / Retired Army NCO Grew up in North Carolina, now live in Oklahoma I entered the US Army in October 1984 and retired May 2005. Veteran of the Gulf War with the 3rd Armor Calvary Regiment (ACR) Spent entire Army career as a Fire Support Specialist (Field Artillery Observer / Coordinator) Avid, let me say this again, AVID sports fan. Favorite teams and sports: NFL = Pittsburgh Steelers MLB = Atlanta Braves NBA = OKC Thunder NHL = There is no way I could care less. Soccer = see NHL note College NCAAF = Oklahoma Sooners NCAAB = UNC Tarheels. Hobbies = Golf, Bowling , Hunting, Fishing I will answer any questions you have, Just give me a buzz!

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