The Donelosthismind Chronicles,

You made it through Monday.

Here’s your reward.nsfw

The Donelosthismind Chronicles,

10.If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts….. this world would be a pretty creepy place.

9. You claim you’re a bad bitch. But you have no car, you have no house and you have no job. You’re not a bad bitch, you doing bad bitch.

8.The best things in life are the things we were never supposed to do in the first place.

7.If Big Sean’s voice was Siri’s Voice on the iPhone 5.. “Turn left boiiii… Wait, HOLD UP! Whoa Dereee! Wrong way! Swerveeeee.”

6. No one on Earth has a higher tolerance to cold temperatures than someone who wants to smoke a cigarette.

5.Shoutout to all the cops catching speeders instead of murders and shit!

4.People complain about auto correct but it’s helpful 99% of the titties.

3.I broke up with my cross-eyed girlfriend today…….i felt like that bitch was seeing someone else.

2. I’ve never met a stripper named “Dignity”.

1. Marriage. Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

 

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